<p>What score (out of 12) would you give to my essay and why? Any suggestion for improvements would be much appreciated. </p>
<p>Question: Is conscience a more powerful motivator than money, power or fame?</p>
<p>Although most of us would like to think that we a re moral and ethical members of this society, in reality we are predominately motivated by things that benefit us regardless of the effects on other people.
The idea of bribery demonstrates this. In less developed countries, one can usually buy oneself out of jail through paying the police money. This is an example of bribery, where the appeal of money exceeds that of conscience. The police were motivated by conscience to arrest a person who has committed a crime. However, in accepting money for letting somebody out of jail, we can see that money is a stronger motivator than conscience.
During the early part of this decade, we saw the rise and fall of Enron. Senior managers at Enron manipulated company accounts, through false accounting practices, in order to raise its share price. The higher the share price, the higher the managers bonuses. Logically, one has to conclude that money drove the managers over conscience. Yes the managers may have wanted to increase the share price for the benefit of the company and its shareholders and employees. But, in reality the primary beneficiaries of their actions were themselves.
Idi Amins rule of Uganda epitomises power being a more powerful motivator than conscience. Amin came to power in 1971 via a military coup. He employed a variety of cruel methods, such as human rights abuses, ethnic persecution, etc, to stay in power. International agencies have estimated the number of death under his rule to be over 500,000. Many would say that Amin had no conscience, but I disagree. Amin, like everybody else, knew that killing was wrong. He knew that what he did was unethical. However, he still carried on. Why? Because his desire to stay in power overwhelmed his conscience. He wanted to remain as the most powerful person in Uganda, and he was prepared to do anything to achieve that. Whilst his spirit in pursuing a goal is not wrong, his actions must be condemned as inhumane.
In conclusion, I disagree with the hypothesis in the question. Human nature is to go after what benefits us and not consider the effects on others. Money, power or fame have concrete advantages for us whereas doing whats right or not doing whats wrong does not possess the same appeal. </p>
<p>Thank you</p>