<p>My son and his GF have the same major and are in most classes together. Part of the reason is because only one section is offered so all juniors take the same class together. The problem is that son and GF study together, but son almost always scores higher on exams. This really frustrates GF. Is GF being too competitive? Son wants to know what to say to her.</p>
<p>Are they getting in the same letter-range? Then it hardly matters.</p>
<p>Yes, she is being too competitive. He could always not tell her his grades, or explain how it doesn’t really matter, or offer to help her. If this really comes between them, that’s a sign.</p>
<p>Is GF mad simply because he’s doing better or because she feels cheated- like she’s putting in all the same work and maybe even some extra but can’t keep up? If it’s the first, then yes, she’s being too competitive. If it’s the second, maybe he could help her out by studying with her/quizzing her more or even by telling her they shouldn’t be studying together (what might not be a distraction for him might be for her.)</p>
<p>And people wonder why kids like to read the parents forum-- this is the kind of conversation we have available to us otherwise. :P</p>
<p>How long have they been seeing each other? I can’t imagine having such a silly squabble and not flat out saying, “look, I understand youre stressed out about your grades, but you’re kind of putting me in an awkward position by being so competitive,” but I guess if the relationship were newer it might be harder to be so forthcoming. He really just has to be honest. He can be nice about it but it would be a good idea to bring up the issue if he doesn’t want it to deteriorate the relationship. Who knows, maybe she is just play-competing and he’s taking her more seriously than she means, or maybe she doesn’t realize she’s making him uncomfortable. Communication is key in any relationship.</p>
<p>^And to add to that, if he is going to say something and he is quite sure that she is genuinely upset, it would be a good idea to wait until a low-stress moment to bring it up–not right after she got a lower grade and is in the middle of having a fit about it. Maybe bring it up the next time they make plans to study together, he needs a low-key moment if he wants to be heard. It’s no use trying to talk to a person when they’re upset and he doesn’t want her to feel attacked needlessly.</p>
<p>I think dating someone in your major could be a really nice thing. My bf and I are in totally opposite kinds of fields and with how extraordinarily busy college keeps you it’s kind of a shame that we can’t really bond over the work we spend so much time doing. But if it’s going to work they have to communicate about these kinds of things-- they’re competing for test scores now, next it will be jobs. They have to be open about it or resentment will build.</p>
<p>Yeah, she’s being too competitive. Maybe he just understands the material better, or he just naturally is better at school/tests. It just happens. She needs to not be so frustrated. </p>
<p>If she’s doing VERY poorly, then she needs to find some help outside of your son.</p>
<p>First, she needs to figure out what is causing her to get lower grades. If they’re studying the same material, and she’s getting (significantly) lower grades, then there’s definitely a problem and I could understand her frustration (in general I mean, she shouldn’t be frustrated at HIM). It could be a simple fix… Perhaps she doesn’t understand the way the questions are asked as clearly as he does. In this case, they could go over old tests and he could explain what she’s missing (a lot of times it’s something simple like misreading or misinterpreting words). If it’s because she’s not absorbing the information being studied, she needs to study on her own for a while without him to see if it’s that she’s distracted while studying with him. </p>
<p>The best thing for him is to explain to her that he’s not to blame for her bad grades, but offer to help her fix find a solution to whatever is causing them, once they figure out what that is.</p>
<p>A woman frustrated about a man’s success? When does that happen?</p>
<p>… so I just got back from a lecture on Ecofeminism in my Environmental Ethics class and boy, was I enlightened</p>
<p>^^ WIN.</p>
<p>10 char</p>
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<p>Son got 100% on this week’s test. GF got a 91%. Class average was 89%. Son would say this hardly matters, but she always brings it up, showing it matters to her.</p>
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I think it’s because she feels cheated.</p>
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<p>hmmm…Really interesting thought. </p>
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<p>Just over two years, so they SHOULD be able to have an honest discussion about this.</p>
<p>GF is complaining because she only got a 91? She needs to grow up, honestly. Just because you study together doesn’t mean you know the material at the same level. If she is seriously peeved at this, your son needs to stand up for himself in some way. Her immaturity (especially when considering she still did excellent on the test!) is astounding.</p>
<p>I know it’s not a significant other, but I study with my friends all the time. We had a test in a poli sci class, I got an 87 and one of my friends got an 80. Another got a 96. None of us are mad at each other, it’s just kinda accepted that some people know the material better. High fives for the guy with the 96, and the guy with the 80 was still happy with his grade.</p>