Rate this essay from Real SAT II Writing please!

Test Preparation
1

<p>This essay is from the Real SAT II Writing prompt. Can anyone tell me what I would get? (2-12)</p>

<p>"There has always been great passion to keep things as they are."</p>

<p>"There has always been great passion to to bring about change."</p>

<p>In an essay, discuss one of the two statements above, supporting your views with an example or examples from science, art, music, history, literature, current events, or your own experience or observation.
Thanks in advance!</p>

<p>Change is inevitable. For eons, the world and the organisms that have lived on it have been changing and adapting. Even in recent times, there has always been a great pssion for change, as is evidenced by the historical examples of the American Revolution and the Civil Rights Movement of the mid 1900s.</p>

<p>During the late 18th century, many colonial Americans believed that England was unfairly taxing the coloneis and the despot King George harshly treatehd the thirteen fledgling entites. Due to these reasons, a fervor for revolution was aroused among many Americans, with great leaders and speakers such as George Washington and the passionate Patrick Henry spearheading the movement. Tired of the old monarchial ways, many colonists wanted to adopt the Republicanist ideas of philosophers such as Locke and Rousseau. In fact, the passion for change so great that the colonists eventually waged war against their parent country so that they may be free to start whatever government they wanted. Clearly, the example of the American Revolution shows that there has indeed always been a passion for change.</p>

<p>The ubiquitous passion for change is also seen through the example of the Civil Rights Movement of the mid 20th century. Headed by leaders such as Martin Luthor King Jr., the movement brought such change as the dissipation of much of the previously omnipresent prejudice and the ushering of social equality for all races. There was clearly a deep passion for this change, as is clear from the ardor in some of King’s speeches, including the famous “I Have a Dream” speech as well as the length to which many activists went to acheive their goal, including jail time for many.</p>

<p>All in all, there has always been a great passion for change, and the veracity of this claim is well supported by both of the historical examples of the American Revolutionary War and the Civil Rights Movement.</p>

2

<p>bump?? Can anyone tell me? This is the most crucial one since I did it from the 22 Reals book. And please ignore the typos, as I typed this very quickly and did not put it into Word first.</p>

3

<p>i would say an 11-12, i got 10 (my essay was much worst and i said the protecting thing instead of a bunker) lol</p>

4

<p>Are you sure this essay took 20 minutes? This is great! Depending on how lucky you are, you will receive somewhere between a 10 and a 12. I'd give this essay an 11. You need a better transition between the body paragraphs, like whereas, although, but...those type of words. You could also use a tad more sentence variety (more shorter sentences) in the body paragraphs. Great vocabulary, though! You should be fine on the essay if you continue writing essays like this essay.</p>

5

<p>Yes, the essay was in 20 minutes. Is it ok to only use 2 examples? They do not give me enough space to write for 3 examples, nor do I usually have enough time to do so. Also, my handwriting is quite bad, so what will it reduce my score to?</p>

6

<p>Yes, how much will bad handwriting reduce a score?</p>

7

<p>to answer zogoto's question: 0, my handwriting is beyond disgusting! i can't even read it myself and my essay was just a load of BS, still 10, it's all luck me believes</p>

8

<p>That definitely puts a smile on my face.</p>