I applied to 8 school for the school year of 17-18 and got rejected at 7(Andover, Exeter, St. Paul, Choate, Middlesex, Groton, Hotchkiss) and waitlisted at 1(Deerfield, my top choice).
I don’t know if I want to re-apply, I’m going to a great public school in the fall but I still want to go to a boarding school but at the same time I don’t want to drag my parents through the process again and not get accepted.
I’m thinking about only applying to Deerfield but then I feel as I’m not casting a wide enough net, giving me a lower chance to get in, but my parents think I should stop trying to apply because they have already rejected me once, showing they don’t want me.
Should I apply or not? If so how many? Put yourself in my shoes and please give me an answer.
With all due respect, your parents are wrong. A school rejecting you one year does not mean that they definitively do not want you for the rest of time. There are many kids who have been in the same shoes as you, and had far better results the second time around. If Deerfield waitlisted you, then reapplying is a great idea (although every year’s applicant pool is different).
About “dragging your parents” throught the process again: talk to them about it. Tell them that last year’s results dont dictate the future. Furthermore: try to make it as simple as you can for them. I did every part of my application by myself except for writing the parent statements and being driven to the SSAT. Try to tell them that you will do the vast majority of the process by yourself. Of course they still did pay for the SSAT prep books and application fees: I payed for the SSAT myself.
Here’s my advice: figure out what you want first, then talk to your parents and come to a negotiation. If you really do want to go to boarding school and not just DA, then tell your parents that you want to do that and discuss it with them. Be reasonable!
Hey. If you really want to boarding school, reapply. I too was waitlisted by every school last year, by this year the results fared much better. However, I would suggest that you apply to non Hades school, or schools of that caliber, as that increases your odds of getting into a boarding school. Plus, if you reapply, it shows the school that you really want to go there. I suggest that you write a letter of interest to Deerfield, as it will help you a bit next year. PM me if you have any questions. Goodluck
I am going to give an answer that I am guessing is NOT what a majority of the people on here will agree with. That’s fine. I respect the right of everyone to have his/her own opinion. I think that it is probably very easy for people to tell you to “try again.” This is especially true for those who met with success when they applied and never felt the pain of having been completely shut out - especially after so much time and effort - from something wanted so badly. Never forget that you are an applicant and not a supplicant. There are more than just 7-8 great boarding schools out there. Over the years, I have seen many kids (and some parents) fall in love with the prestige or idea of particular schools and then work backwards to justify a fit. Sometimes it is a fit, but oftentimes it is not. You have the time now to do some due diligence and go beyond that kind of shortsighted applicant search. Indulge yourself by thinking beyond the perceived cachet factor and rankings, because when I see the schools you applied to last fall that is something I see them having more in common than anything else. You were all over the place with size, type of location, and other things that you owe yourself to have nailed down more precisely. Nail down what you really want as this is somewhere you will be at for important life years and for which you will be paying a lot of money or being assisted with financially. Look at some other schools beyond those you already applied to and apply broadly this time. Maybe there are some schools you did not know about last year or that you gave short shrift to last year. You may be pleasantly surprised at what you find by way of amazing course offerings, locations, opportunities, etc… and if any of these schools appeal to you and happen to have a higher acceptance rate than last year’s bunch, all the better as one of those spots might be offered to you. 
I know that some rejected/WL applicants reapply and get accepted the second time around. I also know that a slew will not get in even after trying again. My take is that if a particular school did not see you there for the following fall and accept you, than find the school(s) that do want you first time around. Applicant - not supplicant.
Personally, I think you should re-apply. I was also waitlisted from my top choice (Andover) the first time around but this year I was accepted at 3 schools, including Andover. Also, you can complete 90% of the application by yourself. Really all your parents need to do is write the parent statement. If you need to fill out financial aid forms, just ask them for the information you need and fill it out yourself – I did that both times I applied. Even though applying to boarding school is a long process that you probably don’t want to go through twice, the possibility of a positive outcome makes it worth it.
I say reapply to the ones that you were most interested from this past cycle and add some hidden gems this year. DS only applied to 3 schools the first time. We thought he was a shoe in for at least one of them. This year, he reapplied to those 3 and added a bunch. He ended up getting into 2/3 of the ones he reapplied to plus 4 more. He choose a school that didn’t make the cut the first year. He had a totally different experience this time when he interviewed and revisited. His previous top was so impressed with what he had accomplished since the last cycle, but he ended up choosing a different school, even though it is where he wanted to be before. Fate is funny like that. Had he gotten in the year before he would be going there.
Boarding school is not categorically better than public school. I think you should give your “great public school” a chance before making your decision. If you enjoy it, then only re-apply to those schools that you think might be a better fit than the public school.
You may find that your great public school is your best option.
However, a waitlist is not a rejection, so you do have a chance of being admitted this year. To me, a waitlist means they wanted you, but couldn’t fit you into the class. Maybe they had lots of swimmers, but couldn’t admit them all, because they needed trombonists, football players and debaters as well.
If you do decide to reapply, I would urge you to cast a wider net. The 8 schools you applied to are extremely competitive in admissions, especially if you do not have an admissions hook. I would not reapply to the schools that outright rejected you.
@judbeeski “There are more than just 7-8 great boarding schools out there. Over the years, I have seen many kids (and some parents) fall in love with the prestige or idea of particular schools and then work backwards to justify a fit. Sometimes it is a fit, but oftentimes it is not.”
So very true.
Totally agree that you shouldn’t apply to the schools that rejected you but if you were to apply again, I’d take another whack at Deerfield. @judbeeski makes some excellent points. Researching schools with an open mind is key. If your parents are only interested in a certain set of schools then stay home and attend your great public school. If they’re open and willing to explore new options- then go for it.
If you decide you want to try again, I would encourage you to take a deep breath and start doing some research on your own. Once you’ve compiled a new list and a plan, sit down down with your parents and make your case.
Call me crazy but I think researching and exploring schools is the fun part. All you need right now is a fresh set of eyes and a keyboard.
K1 was completely set on a legacy school and a certain set of schools when he started out. Thankfully, he saw the light after a few tours that weren’t on his original list- and he enthusiastically added and embraced more as we approached deadlines - which was great.
For example- I’ll never forget the look on his face when we were exiting the Pomfret chapel or the excitement in his voice when we got into the car after his interview. He still wears the Pomfret T shirt admissions gave him. All these years later, he still talks about the beautiful chapel and how he would’ve gone to Pomfret if his legacy school hadn’t come through. Night and day from the drive there… zero butterflies or enthusiasm. I thought I’d need a cattle prod to get him out of the car. But that all changed when we pulled in and walked to the admissions building. Once inside, he barely sat down because he was so blown away by all the framed student artwork on the walls.
Pomfret, for the record, was my idea. Come on! Lets get it on the calendar and go check it out! It will be fun!! Olmsted designed campus, baby! In my defense, there was a time in my life when I wanted to be a landscape architect but I digress…
I guess many people here wouldn’t put Pomfret into the same category or on the same list with a “Top Five” legacy school ( and that’s totally fine ) but my son ( the most unlikely person on earth at that time ) did - immediately after his interview/ tour. Was I shocked? Absolutely not and legacy school alum dad was very excited and supportive , too. And there’s some beauty to that. Something that initially seemed unlikely ultimately ( and rightly ) gave beloved legacy school a real run for it’s money. Plus- I think he learned something about himself and the process that day… and it surprised him.
In a way, that’s one wish I’d have for every student/ family entering a new cycle. To experience something wonderful and totally unexpected as a reward for going in with an open mind and a wide-range of schools.
It is difficult to try again after you’ve been rejected. I think it is worth another try, but that you also have to throw yourself into your public school life with a whole heart. My daughter went through a second application season and spent 9th grade at a public high school. She had a great year and made and deepened many friendships. But she is so much happier to be at her boarding school, and she appreciates it more after having experienced a more typical high school.
My advice is a bit different. Go back and look up who interviewed you at Deerfield. Although it takes guts, call them and ask them for feedback. Where in their opinion can you shore up your app? Which parts were the weakest?
Reapplying with the same app will not help you. If you can figure out what needs to change, you may fare better the second time around. Although difficult, seek feedback. It will pay off.
On reapplication, agree with idea that you need to try some safety, match, reach.
Personally I would not reapply. There is so many reasons to stay at a great public school and these boarding schools are not the be all end all.Take it as a message you were to take a different path. If a particular school offers something you cant access at your current school then I can see it but not just to go,