read my essay? (CRITICISM WELCOMED!!)

<p>Tell us about a personal quality, talent, accomplishment, contribution or experience that is important to you. What about this quality or accomplishment makes you proud and how does it relate to the person you are?</p>

<pre><code> The feeling of success is one of the best feelings in the world. However, that feeling is only the best when you have worked hard to achieve it. Throughout my life, this quality has made me proud because it got me through the sleepless nights and tough occasions. It made me a more optimistic and stronger person today. I know it’s going to help me accomplish a lot in the future.
It was around eight-thirty at night and I just came home from a long day at practice. I kept worrying about this essay assignment that was due the next morning, but the thought of writing a great essay had me smiling. Writing was something that I enjoyed doing. This essay was supposed to be a memory snapshot of an event that made me happy. After dinner, I placed my laptop right in front of me and prepared to begin the writing journey. It was about nine-thirty and I sat in the cold dining room with a blank word document opened in front of me.
I had three days to brainstorm on this essay. The only thing written on the page were blank stares. My mind was empty of my brainstorm ideas for this essay, however, it was full of curiosity on why I had nothing to give. I tried to close my eyes and abandon all unrelated thoughts and refresh my mind with relatable thoughts about my essay. The only notion that I kept in my head were positivity and success. They were going to help me get through the night.
Time was passing by fast. Tick-tock, tick-tock. I wondered why it was so difficult to just write about the best time of your life. My eyes started to close shut and my body felt weak. I was tired and wanted to let my eyes and body rest, but I couldn’t. I was determined to finish this essay. I kept myself up and energized, knowing that I wasn’t going to give up. I had my eyes on the prize, which was receiving an A on the assignment. Despite how difficult it was going to be and how long it was going to take, I didn’t want to surrender. I wanted to accomplish this task. That feeling of accomplishment always made me a stronger person.
It was a quarter till one and I was about done with finishing my memory snapshot. I read over my well-thought-out essay. I knew it was perfect with the structure and all the imageries. I finally submitted my essay without having second thoughts.
A few days later, my teacher mentioned she posted the grade of our memory snapshot online. As soon as I got out of class, I went straight to the portal and saw my grade. My eyes were wide open and watering with tears. I was screaming in my head. I received an A on my essay and I was speechless. I thought about the night I wrote my essay and how there were times when I just couldn’t handle staying up late. My body was telling me sleep, but my mind told me not to quit. “Mind over body,” I repeatedly said to myself. What got me through the night was perseverance. It has made me become a more scholarly individual. If I stay committed and dedicated to one goal, I am able to achieve and succeed.
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<p>Couple suggestions.</p>

<p>***“Throughout my life, this quality has made me proud”


Success is not a quality.</p>

<p>Focus less on the story and more on how this story has shaped you. Focus on…</p>

<p>What about this quality or accomplishment makes you proud and how does it relate to the person you are?</p>

<p>I would advise against posting your college essay online. This is a public domain and anyone could plagiarize your work.</p>