Readmission Appeal Critique, Please please help me!

@Gumbymom Yes I am on the waitlist but its strange because when I called SDSU admission I asked them both about the waitlist and appealing and I asked the guy “hey do I have higher chance of getting in if i waitlist and do an appeal” and he said they are two different things but didn’t tell me I could not do appeal, so i will call again to make sure whether or not I can do that if it will remove my waitlist option, so thanks for bringing that to attention because I should make sure about that. Yeah my family at home does have a death certificate so I will be providing that. Thank you so much for your help!

You need to get the terms straight and the differences between rejection, wait list, and academic dismissal. Take a breath and learn what the terms mean. You should understand that and you need to know this, in order to properly respond.

Why would you take yourself off wait list? That’s saying, no, I do not want to go there, give my waiting place to someone else. Do you understand this? It would be saying, if you didn’t accept me straight off, put me in the No pile.

I don’t know how this college works its wait list, whether any letter can have any effect. But what helps some kids (at some schools, not all) is info that makes them want to choose kid X from the wait list, instead of kid Y. Telling them how you crashed isn’t helpful. They won’t say, “Ohhh, we should take her because she has a reason she didn’t do well.”

If you write to them, you need to focus on your turnaround. What did you do better, how did you recover your academics, what specifically shows them you are a good bet?

But please, if this is serious, get your terms right, understand your position.

@lookingforward Yes I totally understand what your saying that makes perfect sense. Oh no I don’t want to be removed from the list I just want an extra option if I do not get taken from the waitlist because not everyone gets taken off it. But before I even submit this I am going to look into that and see what if would do because I dont want that chance taken from me.

So here is my revision of the whole thing:

To whom it may concern:

I am writing this letter of appeal due to my denied admission as a transfer to attend San Diego State University. I was unsurprised by this, but very upset receiving a letter of rejection of admission this past week. I would like to urge consideration for admission on my behalf for this fall 2016 semester.

The year of 2014, I had faced the most difficult semester during Fall 2014 at Santa Barbara City College. As a consequence my grades and academic performance suffered as a result. This is no means to excuse my poor academic performance, but I would like to disclose and explain the extenuating circumstances I faced. The semester before this (Spring 2013), I had achieved a GPA of 3.3 before November 2014 and been on president’s honor roll twice. I had done well in the first few months until that November, then my father suddenly died from a induced diabetic type one seizure. Due to his death, I had to leave Santa Barbara and go back to my hometown in the Santa Cruz County and organize the funeral. I had been only absent from my classes for a total of two weeks. Now my current GPA is a 3.36. I achieved a decent GPA after this experience. Through this experience I learned to be able to gain a more strict work ethic and better sense of time management. As a result, I will be able to better navigate through the situation promptly and efficiently with a plan. This has further enabled me to never give up on my goals and to not take opportunities for granted.

Thank you for the consideration of my appeal for admission as a transfer student to attend San Diego State University.

You were NOT denied.

You were put on wait list.

@lookingtofuture "Application for: Fall 2016

Thank you for applying to San Diego State University. After carefully reviewing your application, we are unable to offer you admission for the fall 2016 semester. SDSU admission decisions are highly competitive. This year, SDSU received over 83,000 applications for 8,413 enrollment spaces. Our admission decisions were based on the information you provided on your application and were made with great care.

Your credentials are such that you have the option of being placed on a wait list for fall 2016 admission. If you would like to exercise this option, please indicate your decision below by May 1, 2016. Being placed on the wait list does not guarantee admission. Students on the wait list will be notified during the first two weeks of May if we are able to offer you admission for the fall term. "

“Application Period: FALL 2016
Application Fee Status: PAID
Residency Status: RESIDENT (FOR TUITION PURPOSES)
Student Level: UNDERGRADUATE
Major Name: PRE - ART GRAPHIC DESIGN
Major Code: 660557/10091
Degree Objective: BACHELOR OF ARTS
Admission Status: DENIED ADMISSION
Admission Status Date: MARCH 07, 2016”

If you haven’t already done so, ask to be put on the wait list.

Your letter of appeal should simply ask that they reconsider. A short factual request without emotion is best. Don’t volunteer that you were expecting a refusal. Simply state that your grades dropped due to an unexpected death in the family of your only surviving parent and your duties associated with that. State that your other grades were more representative. Reiterate your interest in the university because it offers your specialized major. Thank them for their consideration.

Ok, but you say you are on wait list. They offered you that option. It’s a limbo. I don’t know the sequence for SDSU; the school I know best directly says a kid is WL.

This is just like sports where one may not get a starting position on the team, but is an alternate, sitting on the bench, waiting to see if they get called onto the field. This is different than being rejected entirely.

Your letter has to show them why you should be near the top of the wait list. Not just explain you had a tough time and regrouped a little bit. It has to show them, not just say, ‘I now have a better work ethic.’ Did you get all A grades in later semesters, did you take on higher challenges? You have to think what sells you. Admissions is different than friends knowing you, seeing changes.

At this point, you may need thoughts from CC folks who know SDSU better, maybe came off wait list. But please understand the terms so any questions can be clear.

I take it that English is not your first language. That’s ok. I don’t speak a second language at all, so I’m hardly in a position to criticize. But it’s crucial that you understand the vocabulary and that you read things carefully.

You can only ask for readmission to a place you’ve already been admitted once. That’s not you. The common terms are being admitted, being rejected and being wait listed.

SDSU apparently doesn’t automatically put people on the wait list. So you’re NOT on the wait list yet. You’ve been given an opportunity to get on the wait list, but you have to tell them by May 1 that you want to be the wait list. The letter tells you how to do it. I assume that letter was an email. See where it says “please indicate your decision below by May 1?” Go do that right now. Say that yes, you want to be on the wait list.

You are not writing to appeal their decision. That implies having them change their mind, presumably to admit you as a regular admit, before they start taking people from the wait list. I’d be shocked if such a thing would happen, absent far more extraordinary circumstances than you’re talking about.

What you want to do is write a brief, clear letter reiterating your very strong interest in SDSU, and your hope that you will be admitted from the wait list. Using no more than a couple of sentences to explain why you particularly want SDSU and telling them that if they accept you, you will definitely go. If, for some reason, you did not explain the dip in your grades in your application, do it now. Be brief. Your father died unexpectedly. You were mourning and, in addition, had family responsibilities which led to missing X amount of school in y month. Because of those factors, your grades dipped first and second semester, but, as they can see from your excellent grades before and after, those grades were an anomaly. If you already explained the situation, I’m not sure there’s much point in going over it again. This is the time to give them info they don’t have, for instance, your hopefully fantastic first semester grades or any other recent accomplishments you can point to.

Good luck.

@lkbeck93 Gumbymom knows all things SDSU. If she says she doesn’t think you can appeal a wait list, then you probably can’t. But I would call Admissions to confirm - that way once you have them on the phone, you can explain your situation to them. Explain that you have very extenuating circumstances that you feel would make a difference regarding your wait list status. Tell them you can supply your father’s death certificate if they need it for review. Can you also get a copy of your mother’s death certificate? Even though she passed away when you were much younger, it does explain more about your situation to those reviewing it. It is important to have this type of information so you can fully support your case.

Do you have a counselor that you can talk to at your community college? If so, talk to them! Sometimes they have “contacts” at particular universities, and are able to reach out to them when their students need assistance.

Do you have a professor/teacher who knows you and can vouch for your abilities as a scholar? If so, reach out to him/her and explain the situation and see, if need be, would they be able to write you a reference or recommendation letter to SDSU.

Also, are you going to Explore SDSU this weekend? In addition to administrators, deans, faculty, and staff who will be roaming the campus, there are also many events and workshops, including one specifically for transfer students. You might not get your question answered, but you can get the names of those who might be able to offer some guidance. Since most of the departments will also be having open houses, you may be able to talk to a staff person from your department.

http://arweb.sdsu.edu/es/explore/events/index.html

What I have learned as an SDSU alumna, and as the wife, sibling, daughter, cousin, niece, etc. of Aztec grads, as well as the parent of a current student is that for such a large public university, the faculty and staff are always willing to listen. You might have to ask quite a few people to get a firm answer, but they are willing to help if you need assistance. It is a wonderful community.

And don’t forget to officially accept being put on the wait list!

This is your situation:
You were not admitted; however, you were offered an opportunity to be placed on the waiting list.

Here are the steps you need to take now:

  1. Follow the instructions they provided for you to be placed on the waiting list.
  2. Send an email stating your case for why they should accept you from the waiting list.

DO NOT use any of these words or phrases:
Appeal – This is not an appeal. It is a letter of interest to try to convince them to accept you from the WL.
Readmission – You cannot be REadmitted because you were never admitted.
Academic Dismissal – this did not occur
Dismissal of Admission – this is not a thing
Reinstatement
Reinstated
Reconsideration
Unsurprised
Upset
Diabetic type one seizure
Mental state was a challenge
Not a terrible student

DO try to work in these words or phrases:
Extenuating circumstances
My father died suddenly and unexpectedly

@MurphyBrown @brantly Thank you guys so much for your suggestions will do!

Sorry, but as an educational consultant, I can tell you that this essential information should have been a part of your application, perhaps in the “other information” section. I’m so sorry that you lost your father. If you do want to try sending the letter, I’d pare it down to the essentials. Say more with less. Too wordy. Good luck!