Relationship in College

<p>Can anyone give any advice for people entering college with an established, longterm relationship (especially concerning balancing it out with meeting new people)?</p>

<p>Luckily for me, I won't be alone in this situation as my roommate will have the same problem and neither of our boyfriends will be attending our college. Our boyfriends have a tendency to be very protective and have the unnecessary need to check up on our whereabouts frequently.</p>

<p>Please don't blatantly encourage me to end my relationship as we do have a great relationship when he's not being suspicious and possessive. I realize he is likely to just be insecure. He has also expressed that his source of concern is from my history of cheating, which has not happened recently and I wholeheartedly have no intention of cheating on him.</p>

<p>Simply, I just ask for some sound advice from those who have had any experience in this sort of situation. Thanks for listening!</p>

<p>Honestly, you're probably going to get a lot of advice you asked not to get: end the relationship. This is probably the most tempting environment you can have, and if you have a history of cheating, well. It won't be easy.</p>

<p>Our boyfriends have a tendency to be very protective and have **the unnecessary need* to check up on our whereabouts frequently.</p>

<p>Please don't blatantly encourage me to end my relationship as we do have a great relationship when he's not being suspicious and possessive. I realize he is likely to just be insecure. He has also expressed that his source of concern is from my history of cheating, which has not happened recently and I wholeheartedly have no intention of cheating on him.</p>

<p>Simply, I just ask for some sound advice from those who have had any experience in this sort of situation. Thanks for listening!*</p>

<p>Well, first of all, I don't think that any concern is unnecessary if you have a history of cheating. Ever heard the term "once a cheater, always a cheater"? It's usually true and I'm sure that his suspiciousness has nothing to do with his insecurity and everything to do with your previous unfaithfulness.</p>

<p>Anyway, that aside, I don't even know what kind of advice you are looking for. You don't want to end the relationship, so what else can you do? Stay in the relationship? I can't think of anything else.</p>

<p>One of my best friends is successfully keeping up her long-term relationship with her boyfriend/pretty-much-fiance. She's a freshman in college and he's a senior in high school. I think part of what makes it easier is that they know he'll be attending our university next year, so they only have to be long distance for one year. They talk almost every night and they love and trust each other. So it's definitely do-able.</p>

<p>But with your history of cheating, you have to understand that he's not going to just forget about the past. Let him check up on you a bit - it's the least you can do to make it up to him. As long as he's not being a stalker, it's understandable. If you do cheat on him, I hope that at that point you break it off. There is no excuse for that.</p>

<p>
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One of my best friends is successfully keeping up her long-term relationship with her boyfriend/pretty-much-fiance. She's a freshman in college and he's a senior in high school. I think part of what makes it easier is that they know he'll be attending our university next year,

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</p>

<p>Hundred bucks says they break up within the next 2 years.</p>

<p>Not trying to be an ass, but none of the long-distance relationships among my friends have lasted after they went off to college.
I also know a lot of people who got into a relationship in high school, went to the same college, and then eventually broke up.
You are better off ending it.</p>

<p>My cousin went to college eleven hours away from her boyfriend (after being eight hours away for two years in high school, since he was older)...they were long distance for six years and now live together and are very happy. A friend of mine was long distance with her boyfriend for three years, and now they are married. It can happen, if you work at it. Coming from someone in a long-term, long-distance relationship (aka me), communication and trust are key. If you don't communicate with one another, things will get messy. Make sure you know what you want and want and are able to talk to your signifigant other when something is wrong. It's a lot of work, but it is not impossible.</p>

<p>aww, I started college in a long-term relationship too. =] I'd also cheated in the past and he was also insecure. We stayed together for a whole year into college though and are still great friends so don't feel pressured to break up right away just cause you can.</p>

<p>I'll tell you this... it'll be hard to balance the boyfriend with meeting new people. In my case it was hard because he went to college a subway ride away and wanted to see me every weekend, and I wanted to spend some time on the weekends with my friends at college, but he'd say but you see them all throughout the week! And it's not the same because during the week everyone's busy with schoolwork and I want to have fun with them too. I came to dread some weekends just because I'd have to choose between one or the other.</p>

<p>I went into college with someone I'd already dated for a year. I'm still with him (I'm a first-year) even though I think people doubted we'd make it this far. Things are actually going really well, though it was a hard adjustment.</p>

<p>I think it all depends on how much you both want it ...and also, it's important to magange your time well and make time for each other without compromising your work or friendships at school. </p>

<p>My best advice to you is if you want to stay together, go for it. I think it is better to try and fail than to wonder if you should have tried. But however great your relationship is now, just know it's going to be incredibly difficult, at least for a while. My boyfriend and I got in many fights first semester and there were a couple times I thought we were going to break up. You will miss him a lot, but there will be times one of you is really caught up in your new life and the other one feels neglected. It's also hard to make time to see your significant other sometimes..and of course, jealousy/meeting new guys could be a problem. But it can work!!! Though it was really difficult at first, we talked to each other about our problems and tried to be constructive. Now, everything is going totally smoothly, and I am sooo glad we decided to stay together. Good luck !</p>

<p>if you think you can make it work, then go for it!</p>

<p>my boyfriend and i have been dating for three years now. he's a junior in college and i'm a high school senior. we've managed to keep a long distance relationship for three years and now we're finally going to be together (i'm going to the same college as him)! we lasted three years, and i'm sure you can as well.. it just takes a lot of patience and desire!</p>

<p>good luck! :)</p>

<p>
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he's a junior in college and i'm a high school senior.

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Hm... that's a weird age difference. I'd be wary of a guy like that if I were you.</p>

<p>Has anyone had experience with a not-so long distance relationship, but still away at school?
My boyfriend will be a HS senior next year, I'll be a freshman in college about 25 minutes away. We've been dating for a while; it'll be 3 years in December. So it's not really long distance, but it is away. How do you manage new friends and a boyfriend who you can easily see on the weekends and even weeknights if you felt like it (literally a short drive away but I can't have a car on campus).</p>

<p>thanx goldshadow.. but we've lasted three years like this.. and it's going amazing! we're going to the same college in like 5 months.. i don't think there's an issue! but really, thanx for the advice.. i understand what you mean!</p>

<p>CEH89:</p>

<p>I had that exact same situation last year, only the opposite, i was the HS senior and my boyfriend was a college freshman twenty minutes away. Since you cannot go home to see him (no car), make sure he understands that you are going to want to make time for new friends. if you communicate about it early, make sure he knows what you want and that you are not leaving him out in the cold with your college friends, then you will be fine :) if you communicate with eachother you can make it work :)</p>

<p>im in this situation my bf is a sophmore in college and I am a hs senior, after not getting into my first choice his college has become my first choice, but unlike most normal people him being there is a bit of a negative or maybe just in my mind. I have the assumption that i might have to give up some friends to be with him or etc, and I rather not. I really like his college, and I am not sure what to do, we have been going out for 3 1/2 yrs. The other schools I am considering are a subway ride away.</p>

<p>any comments</p>

<p>Do not choose a college based on your SO.</p>

<p>It's sort of like when you see a few rails missing from a train track and a train speeding to it. You can yell all you want at the train but it's going to keep going and going till BOOM. So theres really not a point in yelling. I mean I guess this could be the one time the train doesn't need tracks. The cards are certainly stacked in your favor with a history of cheating and understandably suspicious boyfriend who goes to a different college.</p>

<p>im in a position that the best school overall for me is the one my bf attents although it is not the 'best' from my list, but its the one where i see myself open for more opportunities, and so i hate the fact that my entire family is going to be like oh you are going there b/c of your bf..ehh</p>

<p>i know exactly what you mean eccentricme!! the school i want to go to.. have been wanting to go to foreverrr.. just so happens to be the school my bf goes to! they have an amazing program for what i want to do and him being there is just an added bonus! but ya, a lot of people assume i'm just goin for him, but whatever.</p>