<p>Hey, sorry for posting so much [I have a lot of questions, heh. I hope that they will be of relevance to others here].</p>
<p>So I've never had a girlfriend in grade school, and don't think I'll get one in college [since I'm socially isolated here and uhh, I'm 100 pounds]. So just wondering - how many people in grad school have been total virgins with respect to relationships? Is it common for people there to enter their first relationships in grad school? </p>
<p>Oh, and how do grad school relationships generally differ from relationships in previous years? Are break-ups still common? Heh, I'm still that immature. And no, I don't want to get children - it's just that I want to get a feeling of what being in a relationship actually feels like =P. </p>
<p>And do grad students generally date in the department, or outside of it? What tends to be the most common? what of grad student / undergrad student relationships?</p>
<p>I'll bet it strongly depends on both the school you're at and what field/subject area you're in. I interviewed at Columbia for Biomed Phd and the students were saying that maybe half of them were already married/engaged/committed. As a group they tended to the slightly older side (taking off 2-5 years before going to grad school).</p>
<p>I hope this thread continues with some interesting/fun posts. The atmosphere in many graduate schools tend to be more formal and professional so it isn't exactly conducive to romance. Moreover, most students are often in some serious relationship so your choices are limited, at best. Having that said, you never know when Cupic may hit you. :) My gut feeling is whatever that keeps you from starting a relationship won't go away at graduate school so work on that first.</p>
<p>I don't think anybody in my department is dating -- it's like dating in the workplace. Too awkward if you break up. </p>
<p>A lot of people are still with their college significant others, and many of those people are in long-distance relationships. Many other people are unattached, and go to bars and such to meet new people. Only a few people in my program are married (we're first-years, and the married ones are mostly the MD/PhDs, who tend to be older), but I am engaged, as is another girl in the program.</p>
<p>What are you planning on studying? That may make all the difference in terms of how your classes are structured, how busy you are, whether you attend labs, etc.</p>
<p>I attended a large college which was actually conducive to relationship experience, 'cause you could get into a relationship or break up without it being announced throughout the school before it even actually happened (as did happen with my break-up in grad school, nearly). In grad school, I was in a much smaller program and I treated a possible relationship much too casually at first. I didn't realize the ramifications in terms of the fish bowl effect. After we broke up, I had quiet casual flings with fellow students who knew the drill and with non-students, but it doesn't sound like that's what you want.</p>
<p>I would not wait until grad school to leave yourself open to a relationship or related experience. Don't be easy, but don't be closed either.</p>
<p>When I was in grad school, in our small study circle we barely noticed a guy and married girl working intensively on their projects. Then one day, kaboom, she moved out on her husband and right in with the grad school colleague. What a mess, because we all knew her husband socially as part of the various picnics the department had. I don't recommend this as your strategy, espec if you're l00 pounds. The first couple got divorced that year and the second couple got married soon after grad school. </p>
<p>I'd think you'll make more sense to yourself and everyone around you if you anticipate you'll relate to grad school professionally, like a workplace, and assume others around you are more socially mature. That's okay.</p>
<p>But what a great idea to take advantage of your presence on a university and find time to participate in a campus club or activity that's interesting and fun, in your way of thinking. There, if you're a grad student, you'll be considered mature by the undergrads, who are more open to mixing at the level you want to. </p>
<p>Or, seek out another less socially mature grad student from a different department. </p>
<p>Either way, look to the campus for social or cultural activities to meet new people, and keep it separate from your grad school program, IMHO.</p>
<p>Thiings also settle down quite a bit in grad school, compared to undergrad, which could also work in your favor to develop and grow in this new direction you now feel ready for.<br>
The advantage of those settled, coupled grad students is they're are fewer roller-coasters over breakups, drinking and all the undergrad stuff. Given that, they're more like workplace friends. So if you're pleasant and comfortable in your skin, they'll come to like you just for who you are; no relationship dances necessary! Then if they KNOW you and eventually you let it be known you "would" socialize if they knew somebody nice, they might introduce you. Things are less crazy and more focussed so they might have time to get their heads around it on your behalf.
It's always great to have a new start and reinvent yourself a bit. I also agree with the poster who said to figure out what's been keeping you away from it up until now (are you REALLY l8??? that would explain it all).
Like the Dog Whisperer, be "calm-assertive" and comfortable in your skin and the friends will come naturally. Make a friendship with a couple, ask them to introduce you if they can. It's as old as the hills. But so am I so I'm going now..</p>
<p>I wouldn't wait till grad school to start trying the "relationship thing." Like, it's totally fine if you don't find anyone in college, but don't just put it all aside thinking "I'll wait till grad school."</p>
<p>I know a lot of people--undergrads since that is what I am--who generally feel that grad students are pretty sketchy and not very date-able. (I'm speaking of math and physics grad students in particular. I'm totally aware this is a bit of a stereotype, but they are often a bit too self-centered around their personal intellectual prowess and not interested in much else besides their own subject and related areas and computers. Disclaimer: I am in a very serious relationship with a math major.)</p>
<p>I'm fairly sure most people in grad school are not dating material, and those who are are not there to date. However, I'm also guessing its tough to date someone who isn't in grad school, since they might no understand why you can't see them for two straight weeks because you are working 12 hour days.</p>
<p>I'm in a more "professional" program than a lot of the PhD-types on on here, but I don't think that the OP should make a point of waiting. Also, don't make a point of rushing into a relationship. Date someone when the time comes.</p>
<p>You're not even 18...you have plenty of time to find someone...or a few someones. :p</p>
<p>I should have rephrased what I said. I think that many graduate studnets are not at a PLACE in their lives that is..uh...conbducive to making them good dating material. Everyone is too busy in grad school to do anything else. Hell, I have a wonderful and loving lady right now and I dread having to tell her "Yeah, by they way, I'm going to be pretty unavailable for the next 12 months while I do this grad thing...Thanks!"</p>