<p>"Montgomery and his colleagues surveyed about 300 freshmen with a questionnaire the researchers specifically designed to assess helicopter parenting. They focused on college students, because college is a "crisis point" in the relationship between the helicopter parent and the child, Montgomery said. At this stage, the parents no longer have control over their child's life and can't keep track of them like in the past.</p>
<p>Participants had to rate their level of agreement with statements such as, "My parents have contacted a school official on my behalf to solve problems for me," "On my college move-in day, my parents stayed the night in town to make sure I was adjusted," and "If two days go by without contact, my parents would contact me."....</p>
<p>Students with helicopter parents tended to be less open to new ideas and actions, as well as more vulnerable, anxious and self-consciousness, among other factors, compared with their counterparts with more distant parents.</p>
<p>"We have a person who is dependent, who is vulnerable, who is self-conscious, who is anxious, who is impulsive, not open to new actions or ideas; is that going to make a successful college student?" Montgomery said. "No, not exactly, it's really a horrible story at the end of the day."</p>
<p>While the headline indicates causation, the researchers clearly stated that the findings indicated an association between helicopter parents and kids who are dependent, etc. For all we know, the helicopter parenting phenomenon may be due to more anxious and dependent kids going away to college than occurred in the past.</p>
<p>My thoughts exactly Northstarmom! My older (college) daughter is much more independent, self-confident, etc. My younger (HS) daughter is dyslexic, shy, does not like large crowds, etc. You treat each child as they need to be treated. I definitely have taken a stronger role in my younger daughters’ schooling; I have joked many times to administration that we’ll talk much more often now that my younger daughter is in high school. </p>
<p>I don’t consider myself a helicopter parent - we actually prefer not to hear from our college daughter! We also like each daughter to solve their own problems, etc. But, I am an interested parent and do what needs to be done for each child and that means being more involved with my younger daughter, as needed.</p>
<p>Well, I certainly didn’t have helicopter parents, but I qualify as neurotic. Mine chose to go to Florida instead of going with me to move into my college dorm freshman year! I think I was born this way.</p>
<p>Sounds believable, but I wonder whether there might be a genetic component. People who are more vulnerable, anxious, and self-conscious might be more likely to be helicopter parents, and their children might share their traits. Shyness, for example, seems to emerge as a trait very early on. People who are naturally predisposed to being shy can be taught to overcome that, but it takes conscious effort for them, whereas for others, luckily there’s no inclination to be shy. So perhaps it’s not the helicopter parenting by itself that causes the personality characteristics in the children.</p>
<p>Let’s not blame the parents (yet again.) In many cases I know a kid is ALREADY neurotic (or other mental health or physical issue), and the parent (being an appropriate and loving parent) must support them out of necessity. I have both kinds of kids. I wish to God everyday that my more fragile child would need me less. Maybe someday he will. </p>
<p>Yes, some parents hover for no apparent reason and may be destructive. That’s bad, too. But I think the bigger problem comes when kids have problems but are NOT supported by their parents.</p>
<p>Every time there is a suicide, or a killing, or a mental breakdown, people turn the tables and start asking… “Why wasn’t anybody paying attention?”</p>
<p>Yup! These are my thoughts exactly. I parent my 2 children differently. The more anxious and neurotic one gets helicoptering while for the calmer one I take a more hands off approach. She just doesn’t need me as much. Of course when I took the collegeboard helicopter parents quiz, it told me I needed to be more involved based on my answers for the more helicoptered child. I wonder if I am just neglecting my younger one shamelessly. ;)</p>