<p>Okay, so here's the situation.
My room mate and I get along fine-great, actually, and we're really close. We tell each other a lot and we know we can trust each other.
Lately, my room mate has developed a crush on this guy we have a class with, and this guy is a friend of ours too. It was just a little crush at first, and she talked about how she wanted to date him, etc, etc.
Well this crush has been developing more and more over the past few months, and now she's got it BAD.
She found out this guy has been hurt recently, really badly, and doesn't want to date right now. She says she understands that, but every time we come back from this class, she gets upset and angry. Last class period she was acting very oddly and was actually mean to him, despite me telling her to calm down.
The problem here is that she WILL NOT stop talking about him! Every conversation we have is about him, and if it's not, she somehow twists it to make it about him.
I'm having a lot of issues in my life right now too (Enough to go see a counselor on campus) and it would be nice, once in a while, to be able to talk about that, or frankly, ANYTHING but this guy!
Me and a couple of our friends have told her to cool her jets, and we're getting to the point where we're getting annoyed with her.
How do I deal with this, and how do I talk to her about it without her feeling like I don't want to be here for her?</p>
<p>Nothing? I’d really like some help here. I don’t want to end up blowing up at her :(</p>
<p>Honestly, I would say, “Do you realize how much you talk about this guy? When was the last time I was allowed to talk about my own issues without you shoehorning your crush into it?”</p>
<p>She needs the blunt truth.</p>
<p>I guess that could work. She’s usually a sensible person and I call her on her crap a lot without her getting mad. I just hope this doesn’t turn into an argument!</p>
<p>I can understand that. If she does get upset when you say something like what I gave you, say, “I’m sorry you feel upset, but I am really frustrated because I feel that I can never talk about my problems without you making it all about you and your problems.”</p>
<p>I statements (I feel, I think…) help a lot in an argument, because they show what the problem is without accusing the other person and making them angry.</p>