My D is moving into a 5 person suite at NYU but they were assigned to bedrooms so no heavy negotiation required! 
I think the most important thing I have seen from previous move-in stories is that the first roommates to arrive donât just grab the âbest side of the roomâ and start rearranging furniture - that tends to annoy the other roommates and being first to arrive confers no special room privileges! But even then I think once the parents leave the roommates work it out. I hope your S or D loves their first year at Harvard - those old dorms really are both quirky and fun.
Actually, a very similar situation happened in my dorm freshman year, which is why I have my earlier mini-rant. The suite was comprised of two doubles with bunkbeds and a common room. The first person arrived, un-bunked the beds and moved âherâ bed into the common room to be âherâ bedroom. Her roommates were not pleased, nor was the freshman dean, who came by to tell her that regardless of what her past experiences were, her self-perception of being a special snowflake needed some adjusting. =))
And you donât want your kid to start of their college experience being âthat personâ because word does get around. Iâm sure all of @skieuropeâs dorm knew about it. SO, let your kid follow the rules even if you think they are dumb.
Ski, thatâs pretty much what D2 experienced, 2nd room with two bunk beds. But the gal moved two beds into the common room. The closet, of course, was in the original bedroom, so two were traipsing through every morning. And the common room residents were interrupted by visitors to the other two. D1 had the original configuration her first year, so we knew how well the common room worked.
Just encourage your kids to make peace with their roommates.
If kids are dumb enough to move their bed into the common area there are more problems. Simple solution is to throw an all night party in the common area and eat all over their bed. Maybe theyâd get the hint.
Ds first year roomie arrived early and rearranged items so she could have half the room. Only-it was a triple. D gain experience dealing with difficult individuals. I stayed out of it. The roomieâs mom actually visited weekly to change sheets and bring food. Mom also complained to RA about my D and 3rd roomie.
I was an RA in the Stone Age. But even then, if a parent called, we did not discuss roommate issues with the parent. We were told to politely say âwe will discuss this with the students.â And that was that.
I agree with othersâŠfollow the guidelines your college sends. If they say to wait for all to arrive Andy then decideâŠthen that is what the students need to do.
They are smart enough to attend college and dorm. They then should be smart enough to figure out the whole room and bed selection issues.
- Rock, paper, scissors.
- Draw #âs, or highest card in a deck, first choice to last choice.
- Head to the track, see who runs the fastest mile.
- Head to the gym, shoot free throws. Best out of ten.
- None of the above, pick another contest.
My kids used some sort of coin flip app. Person who won got to choose which bed. Other person got to choose which closet ( they were not closer to one bed than the other) and if they moved in first or second ) Desks were based on bed.
This a simple way to do things ( you can draw numbers with more people). A system like this can be worked out before and is a lot fairer to a less assertive roomate. There is no reason to wait til everyone arrives which would just make move in more annoying.
I think itâs not practical to wait until everyone is there to decide, because to have 5 students with 5 sets of parents and possibly a few siblings thrown in, moving in to a small space at the same time, seems way to frenzied and hectic. Itâs nice to give each student/family some time alone in the room to unpack. That might not be possible with a 5 person suite, but even if there are 2 or 3 moving in at the same time, it provides a little breathing room. Not everyone would arrive at the same time, so forcing all 5 to wait until everyone is there, just adds to the anxiety of the day. Figure out something before hand, and move in as you get there, being respectful of each otherâs space and their need to have a few moments of privacy.
Indeed we did, which I why I still tell the story 3 years later, and why, when the time comes to send them off to college, I will tell it to my kids. As @doschicos suggests, advise your child not to be that kid. 
Itâs a suite. There are several bedrooms. Everyone wonât be in the same room unpacking. Some kids will be in singles, others in doubles. Two families max unpacking.
But if I knew my kid was moving into a five room suite, I wouldnât bring one extra person along. ParentsâŠand college kid only. ORâŠthe extra people can sit in the suite common roomâŠand wait.
We carried things in, they unpacked and made their beds. Kids donât need everything set up immediately. This is their time to part with us, then bond with peers.
^This. Just like the next 3 years of college.
They can manage setting up the rooms without momâs help no matter how much mom wants to help.
Both of my kids opted for singles when they went off to college. They were lucky their school had many singles. D1âs room was not bigger than a closet, but she loved her privacy.
Both kids roomed with their best friends second year in their sorority. It was challenging for both of them, but they all worked it out. I was often on the receiving end of it. All I ever said was, âUhuh, thatâs frustrating,â or âmaybe she didnât mean it.â
D2 just moved into a graduate school housing in NYC. Itâs a 2 bedroom apartment. One room is slightly bigger. The school randomly assigned the rooms, which made it easier. What d2 also liked is they could lock their rooms even though they are sharing the apartment. The other girl moved in first, but she told D2 that she didnât know how to decorate so D2 could freely move furniture around and put up pictures. The girls also sent each other pictures of stuff they were bringing. I know they tried to be accommodating.
Every single room/bed/desk/closet in our sonâs dorm is absolutely identical, right down to bolted-to-the-floor placement. Hereâs how the cadets do it:
âYou take the bed with the green blanket, Iâll take the other bed with the green blanket.â
âYou take the beige metal desk, Iâll take the other beige metal desk.â
Not a lot of arguing. Theyâre all armed.
My daughter moved in 3 days before her roommate. She wasnât waiting to pick which of the two almost identical sides of the room she wanted.
I would just send my kid with a ceramic pineapple and hope for the best.
Massmomm FTW
My DD did not get to talk to her roommate before move in and she showed up several hours later than DD on movein day. So we did start moving stuff in, trying hard to be fair. Very tricky though.
@Massmomm Donât forget 18 pillows,