<p>Hello. Recently I have been having trouble with my roommate of over a year. Recently we moved into off campus housing. Since my roommate is from the east coast and I am from the west, which is where we are located, I provided all of the furniture for the common areas. I found recently that some of my dishes have gone missing. Along with that my roommate will leave the front door unlocked. Additionally she will borrow things such as my scissors or tape or tools and will forget to return them to the appropriated spot for each item. I have left several notes regarding these issues and have even spoken to my roommate about this when we first moved in.
Another major issue I am experiencing is the fact that she has her boyfriend over every night and day. She only pays for half of the rent and does not pay for utilites of any nature. Our utilities are not included in our rent and they add up to a different amount each month. He boyfriend is here constantly although he is paying for university housing. He uses our water and electricity causing our bills to be higher although I am the one paying for this difference. (I consistently pay approximately $200.00 a month for all utilities including water, internet, and electricity etc). I too have a boyfriend who pays for university housing so I allow him to stay at our apartment once a week. When he is here he is very careful not to use too much water or to leave items plugged in so I can save some money where I can. My roommates boyfriend however leaves the television on when he leaves so he can keep his playstation games saved while he is gone.
My main question is would it be rude for me to either ask the boyfriend to leave and not stay as much or to help pay for rent since I am the one making up the difference? I am actually uncomfortable with her boyfriend being here at all since she has had some major problems with him in the past. They are consistently arguing about petty issues and this make sme nervous and also keeps me up at night with their yelling while I should be sleeping.
I have trouble confronting people since I do not want to upset them. How should I express my frustrations to my roommate? I hardly ever see her for when she is here she is either locked in her room or aruging in the common area with her boyfriend. Would it be wrong of me to ask her boyfriend to help pitch in on the rent or to move out? He is not on the lease I am not sure if that helps my case at all.
Thanks for the help!!</p>
<p>Hey Jenn321, You are in a tough situation, however, you are right to feel uncomfortable. This is not a good situation. This is a good situation to learn to stand up for yourself and what is right. Common courtesy would dictate that no boyfriends stay and live there since that changes the original arrangements and costs. I don’t know why you are paying all of the utilities. You shouldn’t be. If two people live there, then two people split the rent and util. If three people live there, then three people split everything. But I don’t think you opted to live with your roomy and the boyfriend originally. I understand not wanting to be confrontational, however, if you don’t stand up for yourself, nothing will change and you will continue to be taken advantage of. As I see it, you have three choices. #1 Keep things as they are until the end of the school year. Then, move out and different circumstances next year. #2 You can say something now, and advise the roomy and boyfriend that two people live there, two pay rent and util. Three, three pay rent and util. If they get upset, then move back on campus or move in with another roomy. #3 Draw up a contract between you and your roomy, starting now, so you all have an understanding of what everybody is going to pay and let her know that the amount will change ea. mo. based on what util are used. Just show her the bills, and let her know that you need to have a written understanding so that it is fair to both of you as bills go up and down. Good Luck!</p>