Hey everyone … So I’ll be a freshmen this fall . at my school I’ll be living in an apartment style dorm with 3 other females … So one of my roommates who is actually my friend has an issue … She said her bf will come over everyday (we are all attending the same college)… I don’t have a problem with their relationship I just rather not be involved when/if problems do arrive … I don’t have time to deal with their relationship issues i have a goal I set for myself and do not need to become distracted …I do regret asking to room with her I feel like things will not go well . What should I do ?
By ‘come over everyday,’ does she mean he will spend a significant amount of time hanging out in the room, sitting on her bed and doing his own work, mostly being in your shared room as opposed to his own?
Each of these things are things you should clear up with the roommate now. Ask her what is in play when she says he will come over everyday, and let her know that the room is where you live and get to lounge without concerns of there being other eyes, interests, tastes, likes and dislikes in the mix beyond the natural acclimation with each other that you and she will have.
Let her know that visitors to the room everyday to pick her up are quite understandable, as even best girlfriends will stick closely to each other in that way, but that you want to know that she understands you don’t expect to find another person in the room at all times of the day, and you would like to know that even when you are not there, that the room is not being mostly occupied by guests.
Let her know you will behave accordingly.
Why project forward when nothing has happened yet? Relax and take things as they come. If it becomes an issue where their relationship issues bleed over into your life, you can address it then. However, your roommates have the right to have visitors over.
I recommend every freshman student use their library for studying. It is the best place to study free from distraction. Get into that habit and use your room as living/social space.