<p>soo im having hard time on my dorm floor, it seem like my roommates don't like my company, like if they go drink at someone elses room, i never know about it, i am a quiet guy, and no body aproaching me, i already tried approacing people going to their dorms, enjoying conversations, but i still feel like some social paraya..i dont know why, i mean its hard enough to be a new transfer on freshman year, but people seem like thay hate me for something, i never had any lunch with my roommates, they didnt even bother giving me their numbers, before i moved into the dorms i tries to have a conversation with them on fb, and none of them even confirmed my friend request..i feel very unwanted here:'(</p>
<p>i think you should request a room transfer, maybe even to a new dorm, and get a fresh start</p>
<p>Consider speaking to a counselor at your school to help you figure out the situation and what to do next.</p>
<p>Get involved with some organizations at school to do things you want to do. You’ll meet people with common interest. People will respect you and like you when you have your own life, display confidence, and don’t need them. Then it will be easier for you. </p>
<p>If you come across as needy you’ll scare people away. Just be friendly like nothing is wrong. Does your dorm have intramural sports teams? Join one.</p>
<p>Ok…you have two threads going here with different information. On the other thread you say you stay in your room and are friends with one of your roommates. Please…which story is the truer one?</p>
<p>A little advice from a Mom - it is highly unlikely that the college will allow you to change rooms based on your roommates not being as friendly as you’d like them to be. Assuming you’ve already been clear that you’re interested in being friends and they have not responded, then it’s time to move on. Like I told my daughter - the best you can hope for is to get along with your rommate(s) - there’s no rule that you must be friendly and you can’t count on it. You need to join a club where you will meet people with at least one shared interest so that you have a foundation for building a friendship, or look around at your favorite class for someone appreciating the class as much as you are. Good Luck!</p>
<p>Assuming this is true, request a change. Perhaps someone didn’t return for the semester and there is an opening. My friend’s D had the sane type of problem; the switch has gone well.
Along the way, a question… How long have you been there? Might take a little bit to find friends? Also, have you tried joining any groups? Hanging out in the dorm lounge or student union? If you’re around often you’ll be seen as approach able and interested in making friends.</p>
<p>You need to get your story straight.</p>
<p>The bossiness of “don’t ignore this post” is not a way to make friends.</p>
<p>
</p>
<p>Fwiw, I took this comment as a plea rather than as an order.</p>
<p>Either way, it is not a way to make friends.</p>
<p>bobhabanai -</p>
<p>Did you finish high school here or in Israel? If you graduated from high school there, did you do your military service before moving to the US?</p>
<p>In either case, you’ve been through cultural adjustment before. Think back to when you had those changes in your life. It took a while before you were adapted to the new situation. Expect this adaptation to take at least as long. College life is not like what is portrayed in the movies or on TV - that stuff is fiction. So ditch any notion of what college “should be like”. You don’t need to like your roommates. They don’t need to like you. You just need to be able to tolerate each other’s behavior until the end of the term. If you can’t determine what is tolerable and what isn’t, discuss the situation with your RA. That person will be able to help you figure out how to live with your roommates for the time that you need to live with them.</p>
<p>Buffalo is a big city. Put on your winter-weather gear and get out the door. Go study in the library. Get a cup of coffee at the student union or some random coffee shop near campus. Go to a movie, or a museum, or just look across the water at Canada. Today is Friday, if you are like most Israelis you are at least nominally Jewish, so go to services - on campus, off campus, wherever. There will be new faces to see, and new things to think about.</p>
<p>Buffalo is cold, dark, and snowy in the winter. If that is all new to you, make sure that you eat right, sleep right, and get exercise. Even if it isn’t new, do that anyway. If your stress and depression linger, talk with student health about getting evaluated for seasonal affective disorder. Or just go online and buy yourself some happy lights - there are cheap versions at Bed Bath & Beyond.</p>
<p>Stop trying to be happy and to fit in right now. These things take time. So give it time. And by time I mean months, not just days.</p>
<p>happymomof1 – if you have ever seen SUNY Buffalo, you know that among the things it utterly lacks is a neighborhood with random coffee shops, or anyplace of interest within walking distance (and in this case you could define “walking distance” as 2-3 miles and it would still be true).</p>
<p>bob – </p>
<ol>
<li><p>I am with ClassicRockerDad (from the other thread): A little drinking is OK. (A lot of drinking isn’t OK.) </p></li>
<li><p>Start doing things, talking to people in your classes, etc. No one will mind your accent, there are tons of accents all over New York State. As someone else said, it takes more than a few days to fit into a new setting. Give it a few months, seriously. </p></li>
<li><p>Recognize that if you were just put into a room with some roommates, they probably are a little angry you are there. Either you filled a space that was empty (giving them more room), or a roommate they felt close to had to leave and you were dropped into that slot. If you just keep your head down for a little while, eventually their anger will dissipate, and they will be somewhat nicer to you. Also, you can call them on it (but gently!). Remind them, as subtly as you can, that it’s not your fault you were dumped on them, and they shouldn’t be punishing you for it.</p></li>
<li><p>You are not the only Israeli, or the only Russian Jew, at SUNY Buffalo. Find some of the others. Not that you should only hang out with Israelis or Russians, but you may feel more comfortable with them, and they may feel more welcoming to you, and they can help plug you into their friendship networks. </p></li>
<li><p>Heads up: Your written English is nowhere near as good as you think it is. You are going to have to work hard to succeed academically. Don’t lose sight of that.</p></li>
</ol>
<p>
I don’t think they hate you. It takes time to make friends. UB Spring semester just started this week, you will have 15 weeks to know them.</p>
<p>Also,
The drinking age is 21 in New York state.</p>
<p>But Israelis often do their 3 years of military service before going to college, so he could easily be 21.</p>
<p>News flash: underage drinking occurs on college campuses. The drinking age on any college campus is generally whoever is there. Western New York in particular has a drinking culture of long standing. When I was growing up, the drinking age was 18, but I don’t think I was refused service in a bar more than a couple times after my 16th birthday, and I didn’t look particularly old.</p>
<p>JHS -</p>
<p>I’ve never been to SUNY Buffalo, so I had no idea the coffee situation was that grim! How awful. But I did find the link on their website for local transportation [UB</a> Car Free - Parking and Transportation, UB](<a href=“http://www.student-affairs.buffalo.edu/parking/carfree.php]UB”>http://www.student-affairs.buffalo.edu/parking/carfree.php) which I presume to indicate that if one does want to get off campus, there are means of doing so. I did spend 7 long, dark, snowy winters in Ithaca, NY so I do know that winter in that part of the world can be well long, dark, and snowy -snowier in Buffalo than in Ithaca usually because of the lake effect. Which is how I came up with the recommendation for the happy lights. We could have used those in my old lab back in that last century.</p>
<p>It’s not really snowier in Buffalo than in Ithaca, especially north of the city where SUNY is. Ithaca gets plenty of lake effect snow from Lake Ontario. But Ithaca is a great college town, where you can always walk to a bar or restaurant. North Amherst is a vast suburban wasteland. They have actually built some amenities at UB over the past decade, so it’s not as awful as it once was.</p>
<p>What you can do from the main SUNY campus is take the shuttle to what they call the South Campus, which is really the north edge of the city, then take the light-rail metro line from there (or another university shuttle) to downtown Buffalo, where there is stuff to do.</p>
<p>Get an Xbox 360 and Fifa 13, then invite other guys in your hall to play. Your room will become a hangout in no time.</p>
<p>Please look up the Hillel organization at UB. There are many jews on campus. Today is Shabbat and there is an email contact on their website and there are many synogogues nearby campus. Someone from Hillel may be able to give you a better welcome than immature freshman guys. I am guessing you are older than your roommates, so there may be a perception issue. I think your writing is perfectly acceptable. It is maybe a little blunt, but knowing English is not your first language, explains that. Good luck. It is a sunny, clear, day in Bflo.
PS there is quite a large russian jewish population in Bflo for the size of the city.</p>
<p>Telling us to not ignore this post is kind of rude. If that is an indication of your,personality, well I wouldnt friend you either.</p>
<p>I’m just saying that was my initial first glance reaction. If this is how you handle people…</p>