Roommate Probs

Student Lounge College Life
1

My roommate and I need advice on what to do with our third roommate that we don’t necessarily get along with. At the beginning of the semester she was fun to be around and we all got along very well. However things changed when she got into a relationship. Her relationship from what it seems to us is very good and she seems happy and never has issues with her boyfriend so we don’t know why we are having issues with her now. The first incident we had with her was that she tried putting a metal pot into the microwave and I calmly was telling her not to do that because it could blow up. She then got super mad put her hand in my face and yelled “I got it, it’s fine” and then stormed off. Apparently she was having a bad day which she seems to have a lot of. Every time she has a bad day she makes it known to me and my other roommate and treats us horribly as if it is our fault. So the roommate has been fine for awhile and even though she goes home almost every night (which is an hour drive) to see her boyfriend we still try our best to keep her in the loop and invite her to things (even though she is not pleasant to be around) However she always says no but then we won’t invite her to one thing and she gets mad at us and says we leave her out and she’s always bored and has nothing to do.

Most recently she wanted to go bowling for this thing we have to do for our sorority and we told her it was a maybe because we already had plans. However she took it as that we were going so when we were getting ready to do the plans we already had she said “So I take it we aren’t bowling” in which we told her not today but that she was welcome to hang with us. She told us no and stormed off like always. So now for the past week she has been very quiet and won’t talk to us. She stays locked up in her room and when she has somewhere to go she will slam doors and gets ready very loudly and aggressively. Also we recently ran out of toilet paper and found out she was hiding a roll under her sink which is rude because she didn’t even buy it. She has been very passive aggressive and my roommate and I want to know how to handle this situation. Also we are living with her next year as well because we already signed an apartment so we kind of have no other choice than to get along with her. PLEASE HELP

2

@roomieprobs2 this is a tough one I would say grind it out the rest of the year but since you are living together next year you need to resolve it. Maybe you can invite her out for lunch or coffee and tell her that you are both concerned about her because she seems to be unhappy. Ask her if everything is okay? Maybe her relationship or her family life aren’t as great as they seem and she is taking it out on you? If you come from a place of concern for her and not that she is being mean to you she might realize how she has been acting or open up about what is going on. As far as the bowling maybe you guys should have told her that you weren’t going bowling once your other plans were confirmed. Sometimes 3 people can be hard because one feels left out even if you aren’t leaving her out. If she is at her parents a lot she probably feels like you are best friends and she is on the outs. It’s no way to live for sure so you need to resolve it. Are you in a dorm is there an RA that can help facilitate? Good Luck!!

3

Unfortanelty no we are in an apartment. Also I should have mentioned there are four of us! She is closer with our other roommate but never tries to really hang with her and acts completely different with her. If anything that roommate is left out more but she is way more understanding and also has her own friends so doesn’t mind. It’s a very confusing situation but thank you for your input!

4

I would honestly sit down with her one on one, if you do a 2 on one she might feel attacked. Have a sincere conversation with her, just be honest with her tell her how you feel and how you really want to get along with her and honestly dont dislike her and want her more involved in your activities. Asked her if she is having any issues? To her it might just seem that you and your roommate dont like her, make an effort to be clear with her and connect with her.