I find myself checking this about every hour or so, and was encouraged at the thought that maybe he went home. But then I go back to being discouraged at the thought he left his laptop and wallet. No teen gamer leaves their laptop out of their site for very long, unless of course he has a system at home (good thoughts again). My guess is your son, Texasmomof3, is in sort of teenage “w t f? mode” (excuse the crude reference). But if something happens it could be really hard to process. Hope the RA keeps him posted, which keeps you posted, which keeps us posted. Good thoughts for all…I think I will ask my student how all her suite mates are doing - many are far from home.
I, too, am checking this thread frequently for updates. Sending good thoughts for all.
OP, sometimes the big people have to step into these situations. I think in your situation I would call Campus Security myself just to make sure they were on top of this situation. If it were your S who was missing, what would you want others to do?
I would call the parents. If your son has trouble with their accent, it doesn’t matter. It’s more important that they understand him. Or you can call. Or he can text.
I would contact the parents, too. Maybe they have an idea where he might go.
But maybe the school has contacted them? Not knowing that, I think I would contact them and ask if they have heard anything and express that you are concerned.
It is very scary.
I couldn’t reach the RA, so I called campus security and told them the situation. I also got the mom’s number and I called her. She didn’t answer, but I left her a message with who I am and please all me back.
You’re getting good advice to contact the right level of authority, to be sure. After that, the issue is your son and how he’s managing. I want to add that he can lean on campus support to help him through this, whether it turns out dire or is just the first awful scare of his life. On many campuses, this isn’t just mental support. It includes the chaplains, who are very in tune.
This is so sad and scary. I think you and your son have done what you should do by notifying school authorities. It is important that your son (and you) not feel that he is responsible for this person’s problems. Of course you and he want to help, but at this point the authorities need to do their job. The only other thing I would consider is notifying the police, if you haven’t yet. I don’t trust that colleges are prepared to deal with these situations as well as they should be.
My Ds friend had a roommate who attempted suicide. She knew the girl was having suicidal thoughts and notified the RA. The RA did not handle it well, basically put it back on the friend to watch over her. Totally wrong. The friend had to go to class and came back to find the girl in the room. I won’t give the sad details. Luckily the friend found her in time. The school did a terrible job post suicide attempt also. Needless to say this was very very difficult for the friend even post suicide attempt and the university was extremely unhelpful to her. She was considering transferring to another school because of this.
Call the police. Not only campus security, but the police. If he was last seen Tuesday, this is the fourth day.
Your son (or you) should say, I wish to report my son’s roommate missing. He was last seen Tuesday. His wallet, backpack and laptop are in the dorm room. He is not answering texts or calls to his cellphone. We do not know if he has any friends, and we are concerned about his wellbeing.
Roommate has been found. His parents are doing a medical withdrawal. His is leaving school. He is with his parents now and safe.
Thank you for all of the advice and help.
I agree with calling the police. If the college had done so, it seems like there would be a missing person’s bulletin notice like someone posted upthread. Is there? Had the young man been located, it seems like OP’s son would have been told it’s okay to go back to his room.
Thank goodness. Hopefully the parents understand a healthy and thriving kid is more important than one that is in the school and/or major of THEIR dreams. The pressure to carry the dreams and unfulfilled goals of the parent’s is a burden that is too much weight to bear. And sad when people can’t make their own path in life. Whew, great news indeed. Maybe the “disappearing” was his cry for help. Either way, glad it seems someone is listening. Good luck to your son, maybe he will have a single now and won’t have to move. 
Glad this is over for him, that was too much burden on him as well! Happy Halloween!
And still watch now your son is doing with this now and in the future.
Emphasize to him that it was important that he spoke up about his concerns about his roommate. He was right to be concerned. He made a difference.
I am so happy to here things turned out OK.
… and now I wish your son a happy, outgoing, caring and fun NEXT room mate!
Thank you for the update. I am happy to hear it. Sounds like the best possible outcome for all concerned.
So glad to read the update - thank you.
Mental illness is not generally from parental pressure and the inability to make one’s own path is usually a result of the illness, not a cause. There is so much parent-blaming out there in the system. This may very well be a diagnosable case of a brain-based and/or genetic clinical condition. We know very little about the boy’s family so I think judgment may be premature. He may have seemed much happier before going back to school.
So glad this worked out for this young man, and that he is safe. I hope he is hospitalized so that he is truly safe if suicidal thoughts are present.
Well thank heavens he’s been found. It really did not sound like there would be a good ending here.