<p>So I'm in quite a difficult position and I need to make a choice soon. Does anyone here think it's a bad idea to go to the same school as my boyfriend of one year? The school is canisius college and it has the program I want (marketing) and a pretty good reputation in buffalo. The other school I was looking at is SUNY oswego which is three hours away. Oswego kind of seemed more of a better fit, but on the other hand I feel like canisius is more highly ranked when it comes to academics. I just don't know if it would ruin our relationship to go to the same school, because of jealousy and other things. I also don't know if I want to go that far away to oswego. Can anyone give me advice on if goin to the same school as him is a good or bad idea?</p>
<p>In addition: he really wants me to go there as well and was upset to hear that I was considering oswego.</p>
<p>Make the decision as if you didn’t have a bf.</p>
<p>Costs, your major, input from your parents, your instincts and research about the schools should be the determining factors.
Your major may change so go to a school you can easily switch.</p>
<p>The fact that he was mad you weren’t following him to college is a big, waving red flag.
If he is a jealous person then be prepared for manipulation and emotional turmoil.
I bet your relationship is tense because he ASSUMED you would be going to college with him. </p>
<p>IMHO
Predict you dumping him by Thanksgiving if not sooner.
Sorry to be so blunt.
But you asked for opinions.</p>
<p>If I am reading between the lines of your post correctly, you can already see your college experience overly influenced by your bf and not as carefree as you wish.</p>
<p>Do your parents, friends express concern and fear that you will go to the same college as your bf?</p>
<p>Don’t go to college for a bf.</p>
<p>I thought about doing that for the longest time. Now we have broken up and I honestly would’ve been in Hell if I went to the same college as him.</p>
<p>Always, always, ALWAYS choose the best college for YOU. There is a VERY LOW chance you guys will survive college because people change in college. Heck, my bf and I changed the summer before. If you choose the college you kinda like over the college you love, you will ALWAYS wonder “what if?”</p>
<p>And if its meant to be then distance shouldn’t be a problem.</p>
<p>I know he would support me wherever I go, and we’ve talked about what may happen to us in college, were being mature about it. I think I’m going to go to canisius, not just because of him obviously considering what I said before. I just wanted some input.</p>
<p>Think of the question another way. If your boyfriend broke up with you tomorrow, would you still be happy and excited to go to Canisius?</p>
<p>Enjoy the college experience and get away from your local area if the Oswego college has a good program of your choice. Tell your bf that distance makes the heart grow fonder and breaks will come sooner than you know it. Both of you might even last longer this way.</p>
<p>I was 3 hours from home where my gf was during college. I never had her visit as I made a rule that college is off limits to relationships because I knew that it WILL affect academics to some proportion.</p>
<p>Make sure the Oswego college does offer other Major’s of interest though in case you find you don’t like your choice and want to go in another direction.</p>
<p>Now go - enjoy yourself!</p>
<p>after you graduate from college ,if you are still both interested re start your relationship. otherwise…spread your wings and fly. high school ends at high school graduation! go out into the next phase of your life alone. you owe it to yourself. (IMO)</p>
<p>" I just don’t know if it would ruin our relationship to go to the same school, because of jealousy and other things."</p>
<p>"he really wants me to go there as well and was upset to hear that I was considering oswego. "</p>
<p>Those are the classic symptoms of an abusive relationship.
You are in a abusive relationship. GET OUT OF IT RIGHT NOW.</p>
<p>What are your parents saying? Will they pay for Canisius? If not, then your BF would have to accept that, right? </p>
<p>When you say that he was “upset,” do you mean just normal disappointment or more “controlling” angry.</p>
<p>Just disappointment. Like he was subconsciously hoping I wouldn’t like oswego but obviously he would accept it if I went there</p>
<p>This is one of those shades of grey areas, always an issue because things are so much easier when a decision is black or white. So do people marry HS sweethearts and go on to have happy contented lives? Sure. Does everyone? No. </p>
<p>In HS you chose your BF from probably a field 300 guys. Even without the people-change argument, you can see that the odds that there isn’t someone who would be a better fit in college is slim. And the same goes for him, BTW; even if you don’t want to change there’s no guarantee that he won’t. Once again, shades of grey. Does everyone drop their current SO because they meet someone they might be happier with? No. But does it happen. Most assuredly. </p>
<p>I can’t predict whether this relationship will last 1 more month, one more year, or 1 lifetime. Nobody can. But since this is an advice forum, the advice I believe is choose a college that’s right for you with absolutely no weight given to the BF.</p>