SAT Essay - Grade me?

Test Preparation
1

<p>Just an essay I timed myself writing a few minutes ago. Wanted to see if you guys thought it was good or needed some improvements/changes.</p>

<p>Prompt: Can knowledge be a burden rather than a benefit?</p>

<p>Knowledge is a tool for doing great things and changing the world for the better when one chooses to use it in such a way. A prominent figure in history who exemplifies this is Albert Einstein.</p>

<p>Even at a young age, people who knew Albert Einstein could tell he had an extraordinary amount of potential. Simultaneously excelling in violin and breezing past academics, Einstein clearly had a mind few others could match. It was only a matter of time before Einstein, armed with a 210 IQ and an uncanny desire to discover, did something big.</p>

<p>Except he didn't use his knowledge for just one thing. Instead, Einstein is credited for numerous milestone achievements in the field of science. From his theories of special and general relativity to his remarkable advancements in the unification of electricity and magnetism into one concept, Einstein transformed science in ways that today's research in quantum mechanics and string theory would not be possible without.</p>

<p>Yes, Einstein had arguably the most knowledge out of any man on Earth. His groundbreaking achievements prove that knowledge is power and can serve to benefit the world over for generations to come.</p>

<p>Pretty straightforward and simple looking back - nothing flashy or abstract. Anyway let's see what you guys think!</p>

2

<p>I think you are focusing more on his description instead of the topic. I like your connection him to the topic, but you need more of that in different styles.</p>

3

<p>It’s quite a stretch for your example to be relevant to the topic. What is “knowledge” and what is a “burden” to you?</p>

<p>Your essay reads like a biography of Albert Einstein. As you’ve written it you can pick any scientist, or economist, or technologist as an example and simply summarize what they achieved and claim that they did so out of “knowledge”. Brilliance is not knowledge. Invention is not necessarily knowledge.</p>

<p>Depending on their mood the readers may see this essay as off topic. It’s also much too short, especially with one example.</p>

<p>I encourage you to retry.</p>

4

<p>0/6 off-topic essay. This is suppose to be an essay that shows your thoughts, not a biography of a person.</p>

<p>Also, all my points have already been addressed by JokerLotus and fogcity.</p>