Scared of Being Stalked in College

Parents Forum
1

I’ve read countless articles that stalking in college is more prevalent than people generally think, and I’m very anxious. Of course I will take all the necessary cautions and be vigilant on campus, but I’m still terrified; I can’t even focus on other aspects of college that I should be concentrating on, such as classes, meeting new people, starting a new life, etc. Someone please tell me I’m being overly paranoid. P.S. At my orientation this guy was staring at me (not the whole time, but enough to make me uncomfortable) and although he didn’t do anything else, my creep radar went off. I get anxious very easily…am I just overreacting here or is my instinct telling me something? My instincts have proven to be wrong most of the time though…

Merged two identical threads so it may be hard to track at times
ED

2

Yes, you are being overly paranoid. Neither of my daughters was stalked in college. Even if this guy you refer to is interested in you, you haven’t been asked out or propositioned, and have no opportunity to say yes or no. Don’t get paranoid about something that hasn’t eve happened yet. And who knows? Maybe he thinks you look like someone he knows, or you had spinach in your front teeth.

3

Thank you!

4

If it’s that totally debilitating, then you need either mental counseling or a security guard.

5

For what it’s worth, I’m guessing that most stalkers are known to the victim and not random strangers.

6

Well the guy at orientation was in my group. But that was a few months ago so hopefully he’s forgotten who I am.

7

Has something happened in your past that has made you overly cautious? Your fear isn’t rational. First, stop reading those dang stories! How are you going to make friends or life partners if you are so cautious about every new person you meet?

8

Nothing’s really happened to me but I wonder if I ever lived a past life where it did. And I know, I know. It’s mostly guys that make me nervous, which I know is wrong…my high school felt very safe; it’s just that college is so much bigger with much more in the unknown.

9

This goes way beyond normal fear of being followed or hurt… do you go to a counselor? You might want to consider dropping by your school’s mental health office.

And yes, you’re being incredibly over-paranoid. Most people who have stalkers are either 1- famous or semi-famous or 2- it’s an ex-partner or someone else from your life that is no longer a part of your life. Random people stalking other random people is extremely, extremely rare.

10

You are being way, way over paranoid. Please get counseling for this obsession. My college kid has never mentioned herself or anyone she knows being stalked, and I didn’t hear of anyone having any problems with this when I was in college either. Yes, it might be something to think about if you have some ex-boyfriend with weird issues, but beyond that, it’s really not something that normal people are worrying about.

11

Do you have anxiety over other issues that are unlikely to happen - a terrorist attack, a loved one (who is not otherwise sick or very elderly) dying, etc? I agree this deserves a professional therapist. Best of wishes.

12

Your college most likely has a counseling center…where you can speak to someone and get help with your anxiety about this issue.

13

Not sure which UC you are talking about.

I can understand how a massive campus like UCLA might feel threatening. Most CA colleges are pretty safe, as long as you follow their guidelines. (not walking alone, etc) There are blue boxes, aps, rides home, campus patrols, cameras everywhere, etc.

That said, even the small schools like Merced have on-campus violence, sometimes high profile like this one
http://www.mercedsunstar.com/news/local/crime/article45145110.html

I simply don’t think you can avoid or predict events like this. No college or city is immune to bad guys.

14

Most stalkers are people you have had a interaction with. Chances are the guy was looking at you because you are cute. I would suggest you seek some counseling because it is going to be difficult for you to have male friends with this problem. Most college freshman want to develop friendships and it will be more difficult if you cut your options in half.

15

I also have anxiety about getting hacked but that’s about it.

16

Thanks everyone for your responses! I needed to hear that I’m being overtly paranoid; I prefer that over actually being in danger.

17

Yes, but please also do get counseling. This appears to be causing you a lot of unnecessary anxiety and significantly interfering with your social life.

18

The guy was in my orientation groupnand we talked exactly once.

19

@mathyone thank you!

20

Another one who says if there is free counseling you might want to make use of it and I mean that in the kindest way. To be as fearful as you come off in your posts is not rational and you are just beginning the point in life where you will come in contact with new people and new men all the time. It’s just fine, and probably good, to have a creep radar, but it seems like you could benefit maybe from learning not to dwell on such moments. Many times your creep is someone else’s boyfriend. Or the creep just thinks you’re attractive which doesn’t mean anything if you don’t reciprocate. Keep that in mind.