<p>Kids do want to stay together after the prom. They realize they're nearing the end of their h.s. years. The best solutions to this that I've seen were the group of boys/girls who went together (total of 6) having a sleepover at one of the girl's houses (plenty of supervision) and then driving to a Six Flags the next day and doing something on Sunday, too. They basically lived as a group the whole weekend. This was a group of non-drinkers and I think they had a lot of fun. (I'm one of the moms - maybe the wool was over my eyes, but there was never any evidence of it to any of the parents). The other things kids near us have done is to have a group go camping. You don't have the supervision there, but they spent so much time setting up tents (beforehand, in the daylight) and in the morning cooking elaborate breakfast over open flames that they were pretty busy. </p>
<p>You know your child, but you don't always know who she's going to come across. I think you could easily end it by pointing out that 18 year olds are not legally liable for any damage. When I had just turned 20 (and had my B.A. degree) I was driving cross country to go home (alone) and was denied a room at a hotel because they checked my age and said they wouldn't rent to me because I was not legally liable for damages. The twist to that is that I had to get back on the highway and drive in the dark until I found another hotel,so their actions protected them and put me in danger. I guess that's more a lesson on corporate values. Good luck making your decision.</p>
<p>I don't remember what time of year prom was- but at my daughters school they had a two week trip with the seniors backpacking through the Canyonlands- Four Corners area ( the juniors had a more rigourous trip)
Her school was 6-12th and she had been with some of the kids for 7 years- but in a class of 18- she couldn't wait to get away from many of them!
By the time prom happened- it was a fun dance and all- but I had impression she was ready to move on.</p>
<p>but I have a question- 18 yr olds are old enough to join miltary be sued etc- why wouldn't they be liable for damage?</p>
<p>I think an 18 year would be liable. The hotel is probably going to want a credit card from a deeper pocket though - to make sure someone with assets is liable.</p>
<p>There are many states that make it illegal for a minor - ie. under 21 - to rent a hotel room - or the hotel chains have their own guidelines/regs - that being said - I know of situations where kids have 'taken'/'used' moms/dads credit card - rented a room - caused major damage - including a visit from the cops - and guess who is responsible!!!!!!! MOM/DAD!!! The kids caught with/using/in possession of alcohol/drugs are also ticketed. Even an 18 yo with a credit card in their name will have a very difficult time reserving a hotel room in their own name - unless of course no age is inquired about - but the kids parents would most likely be held responsible for any damages. The only exception that I have seen to this is at ''spring break'' places!! uummm </p>
<p>Same with renting a vehicle - no major company will rent to under 25 now - unless it is an insurance situation. There are some minor car rental companies that will - but read the fine print on those lol.</p>
<p>We even have a hotel in our area that will not rent to anyone with a local address anymore - no matter the age!!! - cuz of major problems there - and it is a nice place.</p>
<p>No hotels.
My D and her close friends had this routine for two proms.
Boys meet girls at one designated girl's home. Limo picks everyone up at that house, and delivers them back. Boys hang around for awhile, but leave by 1:00am or so - girls sleep over and drive home the morning. The senior year the girls slept out in the yard with their sleeping bags on a huge trampoline, looking at the stars.
Granted this is an afterparty with a fairly small group, not the whole class. That has always been how my D wanted it - just with those she felt closest to.
On Graduation night, the whole class spends the night in a chaperoned location that remains secret until that evening ( to deter hiding stuff).This is a school tradition, and the event is planned by a committee of parents in the senior class who choose the venue each year. There is plenty of food and a few activities, but mostly the kids just want to hang out with each other, talk and sign yearbooks.</p>
<p>I've rented cars and I'm not 25 yet - mostly, I just have to pay a surcharge. My AmEx does cover the cost up to $25,000 of any damage I might do. </p>
<p>But the prom topic... haven't read all the posts, but someone said something about prom being a popular evening to lose one's virginity. That is true - have heard of it happening - but, at the same time, if kids want to do it, they will find a way. Backseat of a car, backseat of a limo, whatever. </p>
<p>I guess my question to the OP is how much she trusts her kid and the kids in the group. If all are trustworthy, let them do it. If not, say no and stand your ground.</p>
<p>and by the way, I LOVE the idea of an adult. If you can, get an adult, an aunt, a mom, or big sister (mid/late 20s - responsible type) to supervise.</p>
<p>I don't think this poster's daughter was proposing to have a party in the hotel room. However, I understand the concern of the parents when a group of girls would be alone in the room. The idea of the room being crashed is concerning. </p>
<p>Jeepmom, I see your point. But part of knowing your kid is knowing where they fall into the food chain at school. There are kids whose rooms would not get crashed.....NOT under any circumstances. There are others whose rooms will get crashed.</p>
<p>''But part of knowing your kid is knowing where they
fall into the food chain at school. There are kids whose rooms
would not get crashed.....NOT under any circumstances.<br>
There are others whose rooms will get crashed''</p>
<p>Actually I HAVE seen the above situation occur - a group of pretty unpopular gals had their place crashed - big time - buy a group of kids who thought the goody 2 shoes needed a wake up call - ALL involved got in trouble - the place got destroyed before the cops got there. So it does happen.</p>
<p>I think one of the biggest considerations in this topics is the age of the kids involved - all are NOT 18 - many are 15-16 at proms and there can be a huge difference in how they handle things at that age - and it is also an age where they are really 'reaping their oats' so to speak. The maturity level of many of these kids has not reached the place where they are making adult decisions and their judgement is somewhat questionable.</p>
<p>
[quote]
Same with renting a vehicle - no major company will rent to under 25 now - unless it is an insurance situation. There are some minor car rental companies that will - but read the fine print on those lol.
[/quote]
</p>
<p>Not true. My 18 year old S just rented a car in Florida. he has an international driver's license.</p>
<p>He has also rented hotel rooms around the globe, age 17 and beyond.</p>
<p>Still, I would not allow him to rent a hotel room for an 'after-party' because I didn't just fall off the tomatoe truck, LOL.</p>
<p>I don't leave my house on the weekends unless I hire adult supervision. Kids hear that the parents aren't home and all of a sudden it's bing-bang-boom!</p>
<p>"a group of pretty unpopular gals had their place crashed - big time - buy a group of kids who thought the goody 2 shoes needed a wake up call - ALL involved got in trouble - the place got destroyed before the cops got there. So it does happen."</p>
<p>I wasn't thinking in terms of popularity. I was thinking more along the lines of how it might work if the captains of the football team had a room and made it clear that they were not allowing anyone in.</p>
<p>Our PTA hosts an after prom party for all seniors. Don't even have to go to the prom. It is done like a Las Vegas casino night with lots of cash and prizes available. Donations are gathered from area merchants etc. One car dealership always donates a car (used) which is raffled off to all who attend. There are character artists and other activities too. My daughter who attended last year said it was great, goes until 4 am. There is also cushions available to rest/crash on. Supervision is always there and this year it will be held at the same event center the prom is so no driving necessary. Our school is fairly large (over 500 in the graduating class) so there is lots of support for this event.</p>
<p>In thinking aboout the whole prom thing and how it differs these days, I feel that today's 17 yr old has many more options on the "typical" weekend. I wonder if the proms aren't such a huge deal anymore. These kids have cars, they dress up for many other events, they stay out late, etc. It seem that the actual prom is a big deal.....the gown....the limos.....the tux.....the venue, etc. But, beyond that.....what's the big deal for them anymore?</p>
<p>The prom is still the premier social event for most hs students in many communities, even though there are many other social activities available. In some schools, if a student doesn't attend the prom "in style," the student is considered some kind of social outcast or loser.</p>
<p>There is way too much pressure on students to participate and it's an extremely expensive event. But it's a part of the high school experience.
We all went through it, one way or another.</p>