<p>I think that small LACs and even most medium sized schools have such distinct flavors that you can pick up on their personalities even when classes are not in session. It's like walking into a specialty store: you know immediately if the "merchandise" is for you. The reaction is immediate and visceral. If it doesn't appeal you move on to the next. </p>
<p>Big universities are more like department stores. You have to find the right department.</p>
<p>We visited 20 LACs, 7 or 8 in the summer. It's not ideal, but gave our son enough info that he could pick 10 to apply to. When the acceptances came, he re-visited a reasonably local one on a long weekend and we let him miss a week of school in addition to April break to re-visit 5 more with overnights and classes (3 in the Midwest and 2 on the West Coast). His HS is liberal about missing time as long as the work is made up.</p>
<p>For our kid, the visits were essential to find fit. He wanted a small school--they do have distinct personalities--and with a limited student body, size-wise, I think it's more important to have a feel for who the students are. It was a large commitment of time and money to make these visits, but undergrad is a big investment of both, so we felt the groundwork was justified. For other kids and families, a successful process might look very different.</p>
<p>And, btw, son made a point of not "falling in love" until he knew where he was accepted. He even listed schools alphabetically when people asked where he was applying. I was a little worried as May 1 approached that he might not be able to decide, but, in the end, he had a clear choice.</p>
<p>Bethievt! Your son was much wiser than my daughter, who made a stubborn point of falling madly, head-over-heels in love with Carleton. We figured she had a pretty good chance to get in, and she did, but later we had to confront the sobering fact that Carleton was one of the most expensive and least generous with merit aid of the schools she applied to. Alas. Now the struggle for us begins, but at least she'll be where she thinks she belongs.</p>
<p>Thanks for the input fellow posters, as it definitely helps with planning and what to expect. I had gone through this with my older D but she was a highly recruited athlete. Even on unofficial visits some schools really rolled out the carpet. In that situation it can be very much a 'buyers" market. Different scenario with the S though. Eventhough the timelines say he has to start making some choices, he isn't really hyped about any school in particular yet. He just wants it to be away from home and in/near a metropolitan/suburban area. he knows what he wants to study and that helps in selection a little. Hopefully from a few visits, he'll be able to see himself at several of these schools and will get a bit more excited about the process. One thing he knows...
He can't hang around here much longer! lol!</p>
<p>madville</p>
<p>In spades!!</p>
<p>Our dear son needs to move on and we need to celebrate it. VT is wonderful but our kid needs to see the world. My son has been holding on with his fingernails to get on to a bigger canvas. Though it's in the cornfields of Iowa, Grinnell is amazing and has totally won his heart. I'm sure he made a good choice. I would encourage other students and parents to look to what I like to call The Great Midwest.</p>
<p>Kenyon is another wonderful Midwest cornfield school that should be considered. Amazing how many of these bastions of intellectualism and academia are located in the middle of nowhere.</p>
<p>The midwest is a great place for budding authors. The University of Iowa, Kenyon, and Grinnell are all wonderful places to study for those interested in creative writing.</p>
<p>It's great that Mary's D is holding back her affection for a bit- she still has so much more to see. If she can get a list of 7 or 8 that she likes, and wait until offers come in to fall in love, she'll do very well.</p>
<p>That would certainly be the wise course of action!</p>
<p>UCgradmary: Your daughter sounds perfectly normal. One of my friends warned me before our college trip this past spring that her son wanted the visits to be as short as possible and the only thing that came out of them was that he ruled some schools out. That about summed it up for my son, too. The only real spark I saw was when he had a chance to talk to a professor friend of mine. He got very excited about all the CS projects the prof was talking about. Surprised me since before the trip he was on the fence as to CS or economics for his major.</p>
<p>Given the highly competitive nature of the admissions process, I really think the notion that a student needs to "fall in love" with the college adds a lot of unnecessary stress. The student is choosing a school to apply to, not getting married. One does not have to get over emotional about a <em>school</em> -- what is important is narrowing things down to a range of schools that seem appropriate to the students needs, on objective terms. Too much emotion in the process can lead to some bad decisions as well as crushing disappointment if the "love" isn't reciprocated. </p>
<p>I also think that it is very possible that students who are "in love" with a college during admissions season may be more likely to have adjustment problems after enrollment when the "love of their life" turns out to have a few flaws. A little less emotional investment might make the adjustment to the ups and downs of campus life easier to handle. </p>
<p>Of course the student should ideally find a college that is a great fit -- I'm just saying that there's a lot to be said for a cool-headed, pragmatic approach to the process.</p>
<p>I second and third many intelligent posts on this thread. I want to add the psychological issues pending for kids in picking colleges that may be stronger for some than others. The young man who chose MIT to have an excellent adventure seems more daring than either of my kids felt. I think the kids are figuring themselves out as much as the colleges. My children were aware of the fact that they were starting a life path, not just choosing a school. This made my daughter giddy, my son withdrawn.</p>
<p>My daughter has always hated being young. Her criterion (which she could not articulate until the end) was that she didn't want to be in a bubble and she wanted to "start her life." She is in NYC and never plans to leave. Public transportation has made her feel completely independent and number of friends and relatives visiting has made her feel at the center of the world.</p>
<p>My son was quiet through visiting process. He has often had elements of his life dictated by his sister and was working on finding his own voice. Even when she didn't accompany us, he carried her in his head. In the end, he went the opposite route from hers -- for him college will be a time apart from his life. He chose a rural location to "see the stars" in his words. He wants medicine but wants to major in music and have this time to explore himself before his settles down to the serious business of career etc.</p>
<p>My point is that both were evolving a life strategy more than "choosing a school" and this wasn't apparent to me until later on.</p>
<p>Perhaps this is true for your daughter as well.</p>
<p>Great post, MythMom. The "fit," the end result, is going to be different for every student, so why should even the process be the same? </p>
<p>And a good observation about the "life starting" aspect.</p>
<p>UCGradMary, I think people from California are accustomed to buildings (on- and off-campus) that are relatively new, fresh, and clean looking. Since the most prominent buildings in Eastern colleges tend to be fairly old, they are often seen as dirty and crumbling. A lot of Americans get a similar feeling in Europe, where almost every city and town has buildings hundreds of years old that look pretty beat up to the the untrained New World eye.</p>
<p>"I also think that it is very possible that students who are "in love" with a college during admissions season may be more likely to have adjustment problems after enrollment when the "love of their life" turns out to have a few flaws."
Calmom: I'll admit, this has been a concern of mine. My daughter's great "love" for Carleton places, perhaps, unreasonable expectations on the school--expectations impossible to live up to. On the other hand, I'm happy that she'll be excited and euphoric when heading off to college in the fall. It'll be the beginning of a great adventure for her, and any disappointment she encounters along the way will provide important life lessons. Hopefully, she'll emerge four years from now, a wiser, more mature and well-educated young lady, with true affection for her chosen college--flaws and all.</p>
<p>If I had it to do over again (and I do, since DS is a rising junior), I would not bother touring colleges unless we happened to be in town for some other reason. I'd save my money for accepted student visits. </p>
<p>We went on about 10 tours; took one trip specifically for that purpose, up and down the eastern seaboard, and by the end I had a real "see one, seen them all" impression. Unless you know someobody on campus (student or faculty) and can get into the school informally, tours, et all will just reinforce the same thing you can get on the internet.</p>
<p>The benefit of our east coast tour was that DD got to see the old east coast cities and could decide whether or not she could see herself living there for four years, as Pacific NW cities are just not on the same level.</p>
<p>
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both were evolving a life strategy more than "choosing a school"
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Mythmom, I loved your post and your perceptions. Thank you.</p>
<p>Choosing a school is part of that life strategy.</p>
<p>Well tour 1 is over. Thanks so much for all the helpful perspectives, I understand much better now. </p>
<p>Daughter loved New England, that she would love to go to school there is established. The schools she liked best were Brown, Dartmouth and Princeton. She liked their size, feel and locations. Hopefully she likes some safeties as much when we get to those!</p>
<p>What we learned is that we have a truly laid back kid that could be happy most places.</p>
<p>
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What we learned is that we have a truly laid back kid that could be happy most places.
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That's the best news yet. :)</p>
<p>My son said he would be happy anywhere as long as it had a good computer science department. And a year later when he was deciding where to go, that ended up being the deciding factor.</p>
<p>Hindoo, I want to clarify that my post was speculation -- I don't actually know of cases where students had problems because reality didn't match their expectations of their "dream" school. What I have had experience with -- now with 2 kids who have attended 3 colleges -- is that there ARE always problems in Paradise. Whether or not it is harder for a kid with a high level of emotional involvement to deal with it .... who knows? I was just guessing there. So I wouldn't worry too much about your daughter -- the flip side is that a student with a greater emotional involvement might be more forgiving of whatever shortfalls are there -- such as a kid so excited to be in a place that she absolutely a tiny dorm room because it has so much charm. </p>
<p>So it may well be that your daughter's great love and enthusiasm for Carleton is exactly what is needed to keep her warm through a snowy winter... while others are grumbling about the cold, she'll be out frolicking and making snow angels. ;)</p>