Currently I’ve been struggling to make a decision in which school I go to, primarily because I’ve been in a relationship for the past 2 and a half years.
College A is a very large research school which I’m somewhat interested in, but I find it very intimidating. I’m also somewhat hesitant on the costs. However, there are a lot of clubs and organizations and other opportunities that I’m interested in. It’s also a very well known school.
College B is a smaller school with about 6000 undergrad students. I’ve always liked small schools because there is more of a community. I’ve also been accepted into the program I wanted to go into by that school and they gave me a very good scholarship which makes it cheaper than college A. I was also given the opportunity to continue pursuing one of my hobbies, which I was worried would not be able to happen as it is a somewhat rare instrument. But I’m hesitant about going because my boyfriend is going to go there.
Any advice?
I think you should go to College B as it seems like a great fit for you. If you don’t go, won’t you eventually regret passing up this opportunity? You and your boyfriend should have an honest talk about whatever it is that is bothering you regarding the fact that you’d both be attending the same college.
Dont make a college decision around a boy. If you want to go to College B, go to college B. If you were hoping for a clean break, distance, or whatever from the boyfriend, be honest and upfront about that. You will easily be able to make your own friends and have separate actives at a school of that size.
You shouldn’t make college decisions on the basis of where your current (or former) partner is going, whether that’s to be near them or to avoid them.
You seem to obviously prefer College B, and it makes sense financially for you and your family, too. You have the option to pursue a cherished hobby. You like the size. It sounds like a great fit!
Why does your boyfriend make you hesitant? Simply going to the same school doesn’t have to change the amount that you see (or don’t see) him; you can create your own boundaries for how much you hang out together. I strongly do recommend that if you do go to the same school, you think about this for yourself and decide - write down, even - what boundaries you want to create and what things you want to do without him. It’ll be handy to return to if you’re feeling a little lost or overwhelmed in the middle of the semester.
I sympathize; I went to college across the street from my boyfriend, and although we eventually got married, I do regret not spending more time on myself and by myself or with friends in college. But I never would not have wanted to avoid going to my beloved alma mater just to stay away from him. You seem smart enough to be thinking about this early which puts you ahead of the game, so think early about strategies to make sure that you have the experience you want while keeping your relationship in the proper balance.
And if you’re afraid of breaking up with him and then having to see him - well, don’t worry about that. A 6,000-person campus is surprisingly big enough to avoid seeing people you don’t want other than in passing, especially when you have a close-knit group of friends who can help engineer that for you 
Write a letter to your future daughter who just asked you the same question. And be completely honest. Or how would you really answer the question if your best friend asked you and you took yourself out of the question.
I would suggest as an adult with many experiences to help guide my answer. If you want to establish your own identity and avoid any uncomfortable situations at school b. Break up with him now and give yourself the summer for both of you to get used to the new arrangement.
Or trust your inner voice guiding you to school a
Colleges offer you a great experience and both with let you have one. The school you choose n sort of always ends up being your dream school in the end.
Don’t pick a college for or against the fact that a boy you are dating is there. Pick it based on your academic interests, costs, and overall fit. If you want to be free to date other people when you get there, you should break up with your boyfriend before getting to campus – or at least have a conversation if you still want to date some but also see other people in college. You’d feel silly 10 years down the road having based your decision either way because of him.