I am happy to say that I will have completed my B.S. in June this year via an online program. I spoke with my adviser to see what I needed to do to prepare for graduation. He informed me that I would receive my diploma in the mail around 1-month after my degree completion was confirmed. Thrilling news, but he told me that I had to wait until 2016 if I wanted to walk in the commencement ceremony. There is only one ceremony per year and it is held in May; therefore, I will not be eligible this year.
I am honestly not too thrilled about having to wait for a number of reasons. I already have a secure position in the field of my choice that I earned through my experience, and I am recently engaged. We are planning to be married some time early next year. With everything that will have happened, I’m honestly not seeing the value of the commencement ceremony when it is that far away. If there was one this fall, or something, I would go. In a year’s time, the excitement will have worn off and I will have moved to a different chapter in my life.
I don’t think it will be something I regret; since I can still purchase the tassels for memories, etc. I can even get a cap and gown for pictures only, if needed. The ceremony would mean a plane ride, time off of work, etc. Working full time and with already a full class load, I wouldn’t be able to take more classes in order to graduate sooner [without my sanity/GPA suffering].
I’m just looking to see what other people think about it. Thanks in advance!
I think an important factor is whether there is somebody other than you for whom this would be an important and happy occasion–a parent, grandparent, etc. Before telling that person all the reasons why it would be inconvenient for you to walk, think carefully about how much it might mean to him or her. Ask yourself what sacrifices that person made to help you succeed, and whether a weekend of inconvenience would really be a big deal to help repay that.
If there is no such person, it’s entirely up to you. If you think it would be fun and memorable, don’t talk yourself out of it.
It’s up to you. How much others would would care about it, again up to you as to whether it was worth it. I did not. I graduated a year afterwards, and most of my friends were already graduated, and life had moved on. Didn’t have money. Wish I’d let my father go through it as he died before my brother walked, so he never got to be part of any of his children’s graduation from college celebrations. So that is a regret.
Also as I am now old myself, I see that to celebrate the good things in life makes sense, because there are times when there is a drought of them. As you put together your life story, in photos, words, memories, the impact you made of the milestones can make the events stand out.
I agree with this. The ceremony is not about you. It is about your family and friends that have supported you and want to see you walk. If they genuinely don’t care, then do whatever you want to do. If you don’t have a person like this, then do whatever you want to do.
^Nah, I kind of disagree with that. The ceremony is absolutely about you - it’s to celebrate your accomplishments and achievements. And while you can certainly take others’ opinions and feelings into account, you’re the one who would have to put aside money for plane tickets and hotel rooms, and take the time off work, possibly just a few months after your wedding and honeymoon.
Besides…graduation ceremonies are boring. Even your mom would probably say that, lol. You will spend all the money to fly all the way up there and sit still for four hours just to have 20 seconds of attention as you walk across the stage. Is it worth it to you?*
There are other ways to celebrate your graduation - you can have a lunch or dinner with your nearest and dearest, or you can even throw a party (with the money that you would spend on plane tickets! It would be more fun). But I feel like unless your mom really, desperately wants to see you walk across the stage (and also sit through all the speeches and ceremony etc etc)…this is up to you.
*I’m pretty cynical myself about graduations. I’m currently making the same decision - mine doesn’t involve flights, just a 4-hour drive or bus ride, but I have already had two graduations and I’m not totally certain that I want to walk in the graduation ceremony in May, especially given that most of the people in my own cohort already walked May 2014. I missed it because my sister-in-law graduated from high school on the same day and I chose to go to hers instead of my own. I feel the same way as you - in May of 2014 I was super excited about the idea of walking in my doctoral robes and celebrating. Now I’ve been in my postdoctoral position for 6 months and will have been here almost a year by May 2015, and I completed and defended my dissertation over the summer…so it’s not as climactic at this point.
Very wise words, worthy of highlighting! For my MS, there was absolutely NO reason not to walk- it was my cohort, on time, great experience, etc. For me, though, the MS was less cohesive and the school much larger- I skipped it.
It sounds like those who you would want to join in celebration are already there, around you. I completely agree that you should throw a party (maybe even with cap and gown) and take plenty of pictures, with those around you who supported you through the process- coworkers, fiance, parents, whomever. Maybe get a video recording of the commencement speech and feature it in your party, in June, when YOU finish!
You’re absolutely right that it’s to celebrate your accomplishments and achievements, but students can do that in a million ways. I celebrated with my friends in many different ways before and after my actual graduation. Walking in the ceremony was for my parents. I could have definitely done without it (because as you say yourself, graduation ceremonies are really boring). But it was a big deal in my family, and they wanted to go to it so I did it. In my opinion, if your parents did a lot to help you get to where you are (regardless of if they contributed to college expenses or not, if them just raising you did a lot to get to where you are) and they want to see you walk, I think that’s the least you can do. If your parents (or other family members or friends that were a big part of your life) don’t care or don’t want to go, then certainly do whatever you want.
This is, of course, assuming you can afford it. If you can’t afford it, then this is really all a moot point.
Do it for your parents…and anyway I think you will look back and be happy you did that. Since you did your BS online you may feel like you didn’t get the traditional college experience…this will give you a little of that.
to celebrate the good things in life makes sense, because there are times when there is a drought of them.
I’ve kept that notion most of my life and it is a good thing. But ymmv. You don’t have to be a slave to the philosophy, but at least ask yourself if going would be meaningful to you later, regardless of how you feel today. Celebrations of different sorts are markers in time, memory points.
But you have time to decide, right? You can revisit this next winter.
juilliet, I usually agree with you, but not this time. My mother-in-law would be horribly disappointed if one of her grandkids decided to skip graduation, and she will be there, even if she has to sit in a wheelchair. Indeed, she sat in a wheelchair, in a poncho in the rain to be at my son’s graduation. And, since she helped pay for those grandkids’ educations, her wishes carry even more weight–if they were to disappoint her in this way, it would be not only unkind but also ungrateful. Of course, families differ, and it’s not as much of a big deal in families. But graduation is not all about the people graduating.
To travel a year after you completed your studies to a commencement ceremony at a place where you never physically attended school and sit among fellow grads you’ve never met seems completely absurd to me. Graduation ceremonies are boring and endless even when you’re in a familiar location among friends. I think when one chooses to do something as non-traditional as attending college online, traditions like commencement (and Greek life and football games and late night conversations and a bunch of other typical college activities) just aren’t relevant. Take your diploma in the mail, start your new job, have a wonderful wedding, and enjoy life!