Should we get involved once our child has made their "decision"....

<p>DS has been visitng college campuses and has come back from one and declared that he has found the "one". April 1st decisions are still not out and he has not finished visiting other campuses we have scheduled to visit. What should we do? It is a tier one school and he has a full scholarship, but I feel that he will not be approaching the other schools with an open-mind anymore. How involved should we be? There isn't anything to dislike about this one school, but should this be his decision completely since he will be the one attending?</p>

<p>Count your blessings. </p>

<p>Your son loves the college, its a great school, and he's already been awarded a full scholarship. What could be better than that?</p>

<p>I would influence him to visit at least one more of the schools to which he's accepted, if feasible. My S was accepted to 6 schools, but only wanted to consider 2 of them. He attended those accepted students on-campus events. There was one other that we thought he ought to strongly consider, but it was across the country. We offered to fly him there, to no avail. We at least got him to attend an accepted students event they held in our region. </p>

<p>Certainly, if your S visits at least one other school and still prefers this first one, you can feel better knowing that he won't be making the decision in a vacuum.</p>

<p>I agree with calmom.. Congratulations to you and your son! You're in a very enviable position. And at this point, an "open mind" isn't needed, and could actually confuse the situation.</p>

<p>Be happy. Your son is.</p>

<p>I second Calmom. Unless the decision was founded on an utterly silly reason (I liked the food there), then congratulate your kid on getting a full scholarship to a great school. Why cast doubt on his choice?</p>

<p>Edit: I guess I'm "thirding" Calmom. :)</p>

<p>I am very happy and excited for him, but my hesitation is that I KNOW that at least one of the other schools ranks higher in the sciences and is located in a part of the country that will offer phenomenal internship and greater research possibilites. I am thinking of the "big picture" and knowing that he wants to continue on to medical school, I want his undergraduate choice to put him in a competitive position when he applies. I should add that he would be in the Honors college at either university, but the one he hasn't seen yet is much more selective a university and even more so for Honors than the one he has declared to be the "one". His response to that is that he likes the mix of being with Honors and non-Honors students.</p>

<p>Since medical schools are primarily concerned about high gpa's and test scores, how comfortable your son is with the social mix and degree of competitiveness could make a big difference in his success as an undergrad, and in turn, his med school prospects.
I'd trust him on this.</p>

<p>Being the standout in a slightly less prestigeous university (I'm just going by your assessment, I have no idea if it really is "less")
may put him in a better position than being one of many.</p>

<p>Does he have a full scholarship at the other school you want him to consider? If not...I'm with calmom, count your blessings, the decision is made. If your S is considering medical school, save your money to help him out there if you want.</p>

<p>Congrats to your son. Sounds like he knows exactly what he wants -- and has found it! </p>

<p>My D made up her mind that she wanted her safety (University at Buffalo with full tuition scholarship and honors college) weeks before all of her possibilities were known. She had visited all of her schools in the fall. We sent in her deposit as she requested, as I reasoned once all the options were on the table she could always reconsider. She wound up getting in at all of her schools (including two Ivys) but held fast in her decision. Didn't even hesitate. Interestingly, she said to me that she got great sastifaction at the accomplishment of getting into Brown and Penn, but didn't feel they were the best personal choice for her. My D also was drawn to the mix of honors and non-honors students making up the larger university community at UB. So far, she's happy, we're happy.</p>

<p>Physician here. I add my vote to Calmom et al's. Congrats to your son! Let him go where he wants to go, especially with the financial incentives. Having a "better" science program won't mean better courses for premed purposes. Nor will the research prospects unless he plans on grad school in the field he does the work in. He will do best where he wants to be, not only likely getting those better grades for medical school, but learning more in his classes and therefore be better prepared for medical school. I like the mix of Honors/nonhonors students as well- at UW-Madison the Honors program has such flexibility. </p>

<p>Remember that his best chances for acceptance to a medical school will be in his home state. The state medical schools know their public U's and any college at or above the state flagship school in "ranking" is likely to make him competitive when the time comes. I know plenty of physicians who went to "podunk U" (public or private) who did well in medical school. Also keep in mind that the vast majority of physicians go to medical schools below the ranking of elite and become good physicians, you should also not worry when the time comes if he goes to ANY US medical school. They all get the same MD degree. Always keep in mind it is what HE wants, not what you want for him.</p>

<p>The ordeal is over. Enjoy.</p>

<p>Wife of a former physician here. Internships are not what med schools are looking for. And there is a slate of standard science courses which will be equally available at any good college, and certainly totally adequate at a "tier one."</p>

<p>It's all about the GPA and the MCATs. And after that, it's all about the money. Let him thrive, and save the money for med School.</p>

<p>And again, congrats!!!!</p>

<p>How willing is your S to at least visit the other campus(es)? It sounds like you are intending to visit the other schools in any case. I'd probably at least continue to encourage that in a low key way, without taking anything away from his excitement over his Number 1 choice, not so much from the POV of wanting to change his mind, but as an example of due diligence and leaving options open when it comes to any important decision. If he continues to feel the way he does now, however, I agree with the consensus here - very important that he's excited and happy to be going where he wants to be. That's a mind set that can get a student through a lot of the inevitable bumps in the road.</p>

<p>I think it's a guy thing. My son did the same - went to an invitational overnight at his school and made up his mind. Didn't even want to apply to any other schools. (Met the requirements for auto-admit)
If this isn't a Y-chromosome thing it is at least genetic. When his dad and I went shopping for his wedding ring we went into the first jewelry store, he looked the choices over, tried on three, picked one. Done. I spent the rest of the afternoon dragging him around the mall trying to get him to see all the choices out there - "This is something you are going to wear forever. Are you sure?" Yep. </p>

<p>On the med school thing, listen to the other posters. I know two kids currently in med school. One went to pricey private U, one went to low-first-tier big sports U. Not even honors college. Both got into same slate of med schools. In fact, there might be a reason to go to Podunk U.... the perfect 4.0 is easier to get than at Stanford....</p>

<p>It isn't just a guy thing.
My oldest wouldn't even look at any schools on the east coast- including women's colleges- ( even though she is gay- but only dates Ihave met were men)
I did just mention " why dont you look at this school", but it was close by and she definitely wasn't in love or even lust with any of her schools.</p>

<p>She did end up attending the one I suggested- but for instance even with younger D, who is definitely not so interested in where she will be attending- even though it is a good school, she isn't really interested in looking because the schools she is more interesting in attending are out of our budget.</p>

<p>His school sounds like a great school & it sounds like the money will make it a done deal- why get him to try and change his mind? You aren't going to do the same thing when he brings home his fiancee' are you?
;)</p>

<p>Thanks for all the advice and congratulations! I had not taken some of your thoughts into consideration. All good points. </p>

<p>This would be the first MAJOR decision he would be making on his own and it is such a big one that I worry, but you are all right, and I shouldn't. He's done very well up to now, and I guess we groomed him to fly, so now it's time to let him, although I may have to close my eyes at take off!!</p>

<p>wis75- I did not realize he would have the best shot at med school in his home state. Both of these schools are OOS, as are the rest of his choices. Hope that will not affect his chances of attending a med school in his home state if he decides to come home and go that route.</p>

<p>He has tickets to visit a few other schools, so he will need to go ahead and do that. If he still feels the same way, then he's good to go and we'll send in the deposit for housing. </p>

<p>Things could be much worse! He could have gone and hated it! I think I do need to count my blessings and have faith in his choice.</p>

<p>My son did the same thing. Visited his safety, decided to apply Early Action, got in, decided he was done. I know he could be going to a higher-prestige school, but he has made his decision and we (a little reluctantly) are supporting him.</p>

<p>Sometimes when their mind is made up, there is very little you can do especially if he has a full ride at a place he want to be. He will do best academically being in a place he want to be. let him fly.</p>

<p>The Op may be confused about "tiers" and rankings" those are words used by magazines that sell their opinions.</p>

<p>I am in agreement with those that say Congrats</p>