<p>Since your younger D applied to Princeton, your older D must have realized that this was always a possibility. I think that this is your younger D’s decision to make and it will all work out.</p>
<p>My kids, very, very different people, both attended Princeton. Slightly different story, in that they always got along just fine. But when my son, the younger one, was accepted and decided to attend, I was very surprised. He’s much more ‘alt’ then my daughter. As it turns out, they both LOVED the place, and their relationship has become so, so close since they went to college together. Princeton is big enough that they have space, and small enough that they share a lot. </p>
<p>I can’t imagine it will be a bad thing.</p>
<p>It’s absolutely your younger daughter’s decision to make. I overlapped with my younger brother in college for a couple of years and I think I only saw him a couple of times. My younger brother followed along a few years later. The funny thing was that we all took the same drawing course, by the time my youngest brother took it the professor had gotten quite amused by us. It’s the only course we had in common.</p>
<p>It depends a lot on their relationship. You say they are close, but D1 is thinking this is an invasion of her space. Perhaps it would be helpful to have a quiet word with D2 about the importance of making her own friends. There are younger siblings (I know some) who want to be best friends with the older sib’s circle, and that can cause some claustrophobia for the older one.</p>
<p>A family I know had 2 sons at Yale, pretty much at the same time. They lived in different residential colleges and although they studied somewhat related fields, they didn’t see each other all that much. </p>
<p>That was not the case of some other friends whose two daughters attended Berkeley, again pretty much at the same time. Both girls studied literature - one in the English department, the other in comp lit - and even shared an apartment toward the end of their time together at Cal. </p>
<p>So it can work out - and even work out very well - if everyone in the situation is fully on board.</p>
<p>You see, I read this differently. I see it as the elder sister wanted to have Princeton as her own, like she finally did something that her sister hadn’t done (something unique and extremely special). Not so much that she didn’t want her around. If they were always similar in academics, she may not have felt that her achievements were special, since her sister performed similarly. Snagging the Princeton lottery was a way for her to have done something that sis could probably never do (at least statistically).</p>
<p>I believe that those are valid feelings to have and I wouldn’t try to squash them. Lending your ear and being a soundboard is the only thing that I can think of. It’s something that she’ll have to work out in due time. Her sis matriculating at Princeton will make the sting even worse, because the things that she shares with the rest of the family about school may be echoed or overshadowed by sis’s stories. Sometimes you just want to have something that’s yours and just yours. It may sound petty, but I can understand those feelings.</p>
<p>Also, once little sis attends Princeton, all of the things that big sis has raved about may not impress her, which may sting a little.</p>
<p>I have two at the same school, and I had my reservations.
It has had its pros and cons. D2 is forging her own life and has a wide circle of friends. I think D1, who first thought it might be a “pain” to have little sister hanging around, is instead a little put out that she hasn’t really needed that much help!
But they are there for each other if need be (and there have been a couple of incidents where I was really glad D1 was there for D2.)
They are close but they bicker, and that sure hasn’t changed!!
Your older daughter probably will feel for awhile that younger daughter is trying to take something that’s hers. Oh, well. That’s life. She’ll figure it out. I can’t see you urging younger daughter not to take this opportunity.</p>
<p>Everyone is entitled to their own life despite family objections. Accomplishments are to be recognized. to be part of a family that has multiple accomplishments is to be cherished.</p>
<p>Guess I am lucky. Son was accepted at Daughter’s school. I think she was more excited that he was, as were her friends. They are close and do get along well. And it will make visiting easier, only one place to go :)</p>
<p>Same here - my daughter loved having her brother at Rice. Unfortunately, they only overlapped one year, but they played the same club sport and shared some friends that way. But, even at a school of approx 3000 undergrads, they had to make the effort to see each other; they did not run into each other all the time…</p>
<p>It will be a lot easier if the older sibling studies abroad for a semester during her junior year. She’ll feel differently about her family after being away, and this won’t seem like a huge issue. My youngest attends the same school as his cousin (not Princeton, but about the same size) and they are not in each other’s lives at all.</p>
<p>One of my sisters didn’t want me to attend her law school (after she graduated)…because she didn’t like it there! She thought that if I went, I’d like it much better than she did, and for the rest of our lives she’d have to hear me saying wonderful things about classes/people/etc. that she disliked.</p>
<p>I went elsewhere, mostly for my own reasons, but also because she and I have a lot in common. I did not share her confidence that I’d have an opposite reaction to the same school.</p>
<p>My sib and I are 1 year apart. I have a choice between Princeton and Harvard–sib is at one of them. Would love to be in the same location but sib is a superstar, socially, and I worry that I will be in his shadow.</p>
<p>This sounds like D1 worked alot harder in HS and may feel she “deserves” Princeton more; she may now be regretting not having had more fun in hs…and she has some resentment that it was easier for her younger sister who perhaps she doesn’t think “deserves” Princeton (much in the same way unrelated peers at HS perceive another student who they think didn’t deserve a prestigious school; (happens at our school anyway). Does younger sister have some hook the older did not? They will work it out in the end. There are alot of advantages to having both in the same school; same academic schedules, and especially nice for you to see both of them when you are able to visit. They can decide to get together as much, or little,as they like.</p>
<p>Tell D1 it could have been much worse–what if D2 had gotten into Harvard?</p>
<p>These schools are big enough that it is highly unlikely that any sibling will be in the shadow of the older sibling. You might think about whether they want to live in the same residential college (if they have a choice).</p>
<p>How would your D1 have felt if D2 had had the power to reject her opportunity to attend Princeton for a reason of her own? I get that she wants her own thing, like she probably wanted you and your husband all to herself when you decided to give her a younger sister, however you would not have dreamed(I hope) of giving in to such a selfish demand. I.think she is acting like an older sibling, but she should not be allowed to have any sort of say in this, a hugely life altering decision, that will make for family drama at every Thanksgiving for the rest of their lives. It will be much easier to laugh off the resentment D1expresses that sib follows her to school than it will to tamp down ‘you took away my power of choice and prevented me from picking my own future for a petty reason’. The older one is at Princeton, for Pete’s sake–she ought to have acquired a longer view at this point or the school is 't doing it’s job.</p>
<p>D2 and I have just returned from an abbreviated Princeton Preview, D1’s Spring Dance Show, and Bruin Day- D2 was considering California(we are from Texas). I am happy to report that D2 has decided on Princeton and that D1 has realized that it is a positive for both, and another bond that they will always share. </p>
<p>To add some additional information raised by a number of responses- D1 encouraged D2 to apply, D2 did apply to a number of other schools- first choice- Columbia ED( obviously that did not happen and thankfully so, D2 was not a “match”, yet she applied wanting to be close to her best friend yet not “steal her thunder”). D2 was also accepted to Berkeley and UCLA, among other top 20’s. Waiting on Duke and Princeton on the 30th, D2 was set to go to Duke, “Princeton of the South”’ she thought. Admitted to Princeton, rejected by Duke. I am a firm believer in “everything happens for a reason”- D2 rejected by Columbia, rejected by Duke- both PAINFUL. Accepted by Princeton,never expected, special note from the Dance Program- D2 was ‘meant’ to be at Princeton with D1. </p>
<p>D1 is the most unselfish,giving child. As the first member of an extended Family to be admitted to an Ivy League School with no “hooks” of any kind, she took great pride in that, as she should. I think none of us realized how truly similar and well-rounded D1 and D2 were-we only focused on the stats.</p>
<p>So, thank you all again for your replies, they have both comforted me and opened my eyes to this whole process. Thankfully D2 is the youngest and we are DONE!</p>
<p>Good Luck and Best Wishes to all of you and your very special, accomplished Children. I cannot believe both of my Baby Girls are “Grown”!</p>
<p>Congratulations to you mommalis and to your daughters, glad it worked out. I have two kids at Harvard and a third accepted and deciding in the next few weeks. The two currently attending, love having each other close by but definately have their own lives and friends but it has been nice to have their brother/sister available when needed! The third, wants to go as she loves Cambridge but also feels she may want to forge her own path at another school (Yale), she has always been the little sister and has mixed feelings. The older siblings however are campaigning hard for her to come to Harvard. We shall see! She is attending Bull Dog Days (Yale) and Visitas (Harvard) this coming week. Hopefully she will make her own decision and not be swayed by anything. (Harvard’s financial Aide is MUCH Better but we have put in a appeal to Yale!)</p>
<p>It sounds like you have a fun couple of years coming up with both girls at the same school! All the best to you!</p>