<p>^ Sorry, did not see where the OP said she already did the calculator for P; just saw she planned to apply to P. Was that from another thread?</p>
<p>As said above, if they’d like to pay, you’d be happy to apply elsewhere. Also, you can tell them that after doing extensive research you have found schools that you feel are great fits, and that you’d be happy to point them to websites if they’d like to learn more about them.</p>
<p>Busybodies dont get a vote in your life.</p>
<p>I’m familiar with all of those schools and they are great choices! Good luck.</p>
<p>I have a child who is currently applying to schools. I have told VERY few people where he is applying. Usually I just mutter something like “oh, all over the map”. It saves me time not having to deal with talking about stuff that is no one else’s business.</p>
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<p>Agree. And I know people like GFG are trying to help, but not everybody wants a big private university, or to be on the East Coast. For real. The schools WD has focused on fit her needs after careful consideration. That should be the end of the discussion.</p>
<p>My son graduated from a good, but not so well known LAC, far from here so that the name means nothing to anyone around here. He loved nearly every minute of his 4 years there . Just loved it. It is one of the things he savors so much, his college years there. Was well taught there and just slid right into a high paying career type job at a very good company that is really moving him along. It could not have been better. </p>
<p>Smiling and nodding is the best wrinkle therapy. These folks are all doing you a favor.</p>
<p>It is hard to repeat the same message over and over again. Especially when so many persist in constantly over-stating how easy it is to get substantial financial aid at private colleges. The opposite is true - the top-ranked colleges have reduced the percentage of merit aid they are willing to give to increase need-based aid. </p>
<p>As a parent, it can be very hard to have worked hard for many years and yet not have enough put away to pay for private college that will have a COA at or above $60K per year at the most elite schools by next year, and have enough for a comfortable retirement - with health care costs a huge concern. I can certainly understand the mom’s sigh, and applaud the OP for her thoughtful approach. </p>
<p>By the way, OP, this will be done soon. By next year, hopefully sooner, all the talk about why didn’t you apply to super elite, super expensive college will be done and you will be off at the school of YOUR choice.</p>
<p>Unfortunately, those that think it is OK to comment on others choices will just find something else to bug you about. So, old as it may be getting, learning to smile and nod is a great skill to have.</p>
<p>Good luck!</p>
<p>Another vote for tuning out these comments, which unfortunately show that the (probably) well-intentioned people making them do not have any understanding of how the college scene works, or how it works these days.</p>
<p>I admire you for refusing to play the elitism game and instead focusing on schools which 1) you presumably have a decent shot at both getting into and affording and 2) like all schools, have unique personalities, which you have gotten to know and like.</p>
<p>So, as the penguin says in Madagascar, Just smile and wave, smile and wave…</p>
<p>I know you won’t believe me… but you’d be getting just as many comments if your list consisted of Harvard, Notre Dame, A&M, and UCLA (to pick on a random sample of colleges with high recognition factor). One of my kids who applied to pretty well known engineering universities ended up hearing a litany of “you’re such an elitist, you should look at ABC college in Ohio which everyone knows gives you the X experience at much lower cost” or “Why would you want to go there; it gets a lot of snow” and “I can’t believe you’re not applying to my alma mater, I’ve got a lot of pull with admissions” (note- this college did not have an engineering school, and its weakest disciplines were math and science.)</p>
<p>It seems like people are picking on you for having schools that are affordable… but really, they’d be commenting regardless of what your list looked like. And if you had Notre Dame on the list but not BC or Holy Cross or Villanova… and if you had Harvard but not Yale, or UCLA but not UVA or Michigan… everyone’s got an axe to grind!</p>
<p>You can smile and say, “Oh goodness, I’m such a scatterbrain, I can’t even remember the list of schools right now, it will be a miracle if I get my applications done on time” and walk away. Or you can get into a dialogue about your schools and your stats and your budget which is never-ending.</p>
<p>Your choice!</p>
<p>A year from now, some well meaning family member will be picking apart your choice of major. Four years from now, ditto on your job search. So just offer minimal data and move on!!!</p>
<p>Hugs to you.</p>
<p>A big part of growing up is learning to differentiate between advice and conversation. Most people know very little about a lot of things but that doesn’t stop them from talking like their are experts. You can tune them out or you can engage them.</p>
<p>You don’t need to be combative, but you can talk about the great things that make you love these schools. Things will be no different when you buy you first car, take your first job, or buy your first house.</p>
<p>menloparkmom and mom2and, I think you understand where my mom is coming from 
She is bummed that I’ve worked hard in HS and have a shot, admissions-wise, at top colleges (maybe not HYP but top 20)… but we can’t afford them. It is, as ucb pointed out, a more unusual situation.</p>
<p>blossom, that is interesting. One of my good friends is applying only to large, well-known universities (Harvard, UVA, Northwestern, Duke, etc.). Whenever adults hear where she is applying, the usual response is “Wow! Good for you!” It’s childish, but I sometimes resent that reaction (especially when they ask me where I’m applying immediately after). But you’re right that people will be unhappy no matter what… I will keep that in mind as I practice my vague answers :)</p>
<p>Just wait until people start asking you when you are going to get married. And then they start asking when you are going to have a baby. And then they start asking when you are going to have ANOTHER baby… Eventually the will be giving you grief about the schools those babies are applying to. 
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<p>I know it can be tiresome, but it never ends. </p>
<p>Your mother has no right to give you the big sighs unless she is willing to fork over the $$.</p>
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<p>Absolutely. Don’t even let it prick your consciousness. Treat it akin to pleasantries about movies they think you should see. Don’t give it space in your head. Part of being an adult is understanding that outside of a few chosen people in your life, other people’s opinions just really don’t matter all that much. If these other people don’t have the graciousness to say, “Oh, how exciting! Good luck to you, wherever you wind up!” then that’s on them and it’s a reflection of them, not on you.</p>
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<p>See, I <em>don’t</em> find that people ever asked me in real life when I was getting married, when I was going to have a baby, etc. I got ONE real life comment about being a working mother, as an example. I think I just give off signals that my private life just isn’t up for your commentary, and I like being that way.</p>
<p>Well, they asked me! On the other hand, IIRC you married right after college. I didn’t marry until I was 32. Believe me, it make a difference!</p>
<p>Don’t underestimate smiling and nodding. I have rarely regretted smiling and nodding at stupid comments, but I have often regretted trying to enlighten the stupid commenter.</p>
<p>“OMG I found this cool little school in Minnesota that has EVERYTHING I want (for an unbelievable price), I can’t wait.”</p>
<p>If none of the above work with especially clueless/stubborn people, you could tell them hey, that’s a great idea, you’ll certainly apply to [fill in name of school]. Then later, if they ask, say they didn’t give you an acceptance. :D</p>
<p>But really, I like TempeMom’s suggestion best. It’s truest.</p>
<p>My favorite suggestions so far are menloparkmom’s (# 6 above), closely followed by stradmom’s (# 9 above).</p>
<p>And, with regard to St. Olaf’s, you can always say, “If it was good enough for Betty White, it’s good enough for me!”</p>
<p>Inaccurate (in multiple ways), but probably enough to get the naysayers’s attention and shut them up for a moment . . . at least long enough for you to escape.</p>
<p>1) Don’t necessarily count out top colleges just because of the sticker price.</p>
<p>2) To those giving “advice”: “Oh great! How much can I count on you for supporting me at a top college?”</p>
<p>I suspect Blossom is right (see post #28). Keep your chin up!</p>