<p>I can’t help it - I would likely be a bit of a turd in this situation. It’s my devil side, I tell you. I would likely say something like
“Oh, you don’t know St. Olaf? Wow. Don’t worry, that’s okay.”</p>
<p>OR you could take the excellent advice offered here by others and not be a turd like me. :)</p>
<p>I want to second the poster that stated you will be challenged at those schools. DD1 attended one of them with stats near yours. She wasn’t even top grad in her dorm room.</p>
<p>I went to a tiny OAC school and am still, 30 years later, answering the question of “where is that”? Yes, it gets old, no question. I have sympathy but no solutions. It can be helpful to you to just say “Oh, I know, you’ve not heard of it, but I am SO excited to apply there. It’s pretty much everything I want” and when they say “But what about>>>>” you just look puzzled and say “Oh, no, I know I’m gonna love _____”. Or “Haha…I can’t afford to go there, I already checked”.And then talk about their angina, or heart valve replacement, or their kids. Coughing attacks, sneezing, or answering your phone works too!!</p>
<p>(And remember – the kids who get into Ivies are getting questioned about finances and being stuck up. Kids at flagships are getting questioned about huge classes. Students at LACs are having their employability questioned. EVERYONE’S a critic in December :)</p>
<p>Actually in a nice to e maybe say " I just think this is best for me because… And finish with and I’m sure you want me to feel comfortable and happy." Maybe if you state your reasons and throw a question back at them they will see you have thought this through. I used to nod and smile, and still do sometimes but at others I gently hold my ground. They don’t question me so much and I don’t care if they think I’m wrong. I’m the most successful one in my family with the best adjusted kids so I don’t think “they” are always right. It’s in your gentle tone that you defeat the doubters. I lived my childhood thinking I couldn’t make my decisions and once I realized that self doubt was wrong I was so much happier. Your family sounds a lot like mine. They mean the best but they may not be fully aware of the circumstances. You, however, have done the research. You know you, they don’t . Good luck.</p>
<p>Blossom is right…Everybody has an idea. You hear comments from those who disagree with your approach. If you were aiming for the elites, you’d hear comment from people who think it’s “ridiculous” to pay $250,000 for college.</p>
<p>You can’t please all the people all the time, so just please yourself.</p>
<p>I DO disagree with your approach, FWIW, but my opinion doesn’t matter. Do what you think is best for you.</p>
<p>I’d never heard of St Olaf until a close friend of my daughter went there because of their excellent choral program. And she was a NM commended student with rich, full-pay parents. She had a lot of options, IOW. So I did a little research and was so impressed that I am now strongly encouraging my son to apply there next year. </p>
<p>I offer this as evidence that ignorance is curable.</p>
<p>^I hope you visit, because the campus is really beautiful (far nicer than neighboring Carleton). It’s a fantastic school that prepares kids well for whatever they want to do after undergrad. If not for the fact that it was too close and familiar for my son, he would have gone there in a heartbeat.</p>
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<p>I know 3 Northwestern professors who have sent their LAC-desiring kids to St. Olaf and been very pleased with it.</p>
<p>I do like TempeMom’s suggestion 
Will use after May 1.</p>
<p>Perhaps you need to decide whether you feel you need to have this conversation with them. Are you trying to stand up for yourself, convince them, trump their point to strengthen your own position in your own mind… ? Perhaps if you can figure out what makes you want to reply, you will know better what to say or not say.</p>
<p>If you decide you really are gaining nothing from these dialogues, there’s an easy way to disengage that is neither snippy nor rude. Just ask them an unrelated random question about themselves. The dialogue sounds like this:</p>
<p>Them: “Why aren’t you applying to X?”</p>
<p>You: “Where did you find that cool umbrella?”</p>
<p>In most cases they will start talking about their umbrella and leave you alone about college, at least until the next social gathering. So keep a few questions in your mind to take charge and deflect the conversation if you truly do not want to have that conversation.</p>
<p>Learning how to give the non-committal answers that end a conversation is a useful life skill.</p>
<p>^It is, and one I wish I were better at doing.</p>
<p>
Thank you, paying3tuitions, this is now my go-to comeback on rainy days. (Now to think up something equally good for better weather.)</p>
<p>Sometimes people are projecting their own issues when they ask pushy questions, sometimes they want to mess with you or are just plain nosy, and sometimes they can’t think of what else to say and are trying to make conversation, though in a clumsy way. Just hang in there a little longer, OP.</p>
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The response to this is simply, “You know, I’ll think about that. Thanks.” The fact that you already have is irrelevant. And you just don’t apply.</p>
<p>And down the road, an omission - “Yes, MIT’s a great school, but I didn’t get in. Here’s where I did get in, and here is where I’m going.” You don’t have to add that you didn’t get in because you didn’t apply.</p>
<p>Deflect, deflect, deflect - they can’t argue with you if you don’t engage.</p>
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<p>Actually, “Where did you find that cool umbrella?” will work just as well (if not better) on sunny days. Of course, the person you’re speaking with will think you’ve lost your mind . . . but I’m reasonably confident it will bring a quick end to any conversation.</p>
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<p>LOVE this!!!</p>
<p>I agree that deflection is probably the best strategy for nosy friends and acquaintances. It’s harder with relatives who I see on a weekly basis, but then again . . . maybe it is best to just avoid the subject, at least until decisions have been made :)</p>
<p>Sorry they are giving you a hard time. Perhaps instead of smiling and nodding, you should tell them to discuss your parents finances with them, not you. Tell them you refuse to discuss this matter anymore because it is between you and your parents, but they are more than welcome to pester your parents about it. I am serious. I tell my children that if anyone gives them a hard time about things, like, this would be one, to tell those adults to take it up with the parents. Usually, people are happy to give the kids a hard time, but they won’t go off and say the same stuff to the parents.</p>
<p>((((hugs)))))</p>