<p>This brings to mind my two sons whining at Logan airport after being dumped by Jet Blueand could we come and get them, puh-leeeeeze??? (we had dropped them off and were an hour away as we were driving back home the next day rather than flying). I said “uh,no. You’re two grown up adult men, figure it out.” Of course, they ended up having a great time in Boston. @@</p>
<p>I agree with Much2learn. A while back, I was in line with my daughter, 16 yrs old at the time. I realized I forgot something had to run back, but it was a long line. So I took my credit card out and handed it to my daughter and told her if she gets to the front before I get back, just pay with the credit card. My daughter right away said wait, she did not know how to use it. I told her to just hand it to the cashier and the cashier would know. I left. I did get back before she checked out. But apparently, while I was gone, the woman behind her in line told her I was a helicopter parent and proceeded to lecture my daughter about that. How is that helicopter parenting? I would call that a nosey person who is helicoptering my daughter even though she does not know my daughter. </p>
<p>It kills me when parents (I am referring to under 18) are clueless and don’t care about what their kids are doing. </p>
<p>The sickest example was in our local news. Some teen boy killed 4 people while drunk driving, something he has done many times before, and his parents paid off to keep him out of jail. It is being called “affluenza.” Just google the term and you will see many references to the case. Makes me angry that any judge can do that.</p>
<p>That is clearly not helicopter parenting! That woman was simply ridiculous. There has been a few occasions where my mom had to leave and gave me her card. The most recent occasion was a week ago and I still didn’t know what to do with it! </p>
<p>My mom is not a snowplow parent. My siblings and I are a bit spoiled (we’re reminded by famil members every family dinner/holiday), but who is to say ever child that is spoiled turns out rotten? She jokes that we’re heavily cared for and tended to. I know for sure that my siblings take off times are much later than the average American adult. Currently, heavily reliant upon her, but I’m sure as we all graduate, marry, and develop our own personal lives the roles will switch.</p>
<p>I have bailed out some kids I knew who were given their parents Costco card and were trying to check out at the cashiers. I stepped up and said the girls were with me, so the cashier let them ring up the purchases and pay in cash. They would have been unable to purchase if I hadn’t stepped up. </p>
<p>In general, I don’t think folks can buy with someone else’s credit card except with express written permission, perhaps notarized or more.</p>
<p>lmkh, there have been several threads here about that case. </p>
<p>I’m not sure what the woman’s problem is? How was that helicoptering? It doesn’t make any sense… </p>
<p>I used my parents’ cards several times without issue. Then again, that was before the credit card crack down. I don’t really recall ever not knowing how to use a card so maybe I never raised suspicions? Meh.</p>
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A couple of years ago, my spouse visited DS, who insisted on “taking” her to NYC because he knew she might be interested in visiting that city because she had never been there. Indeed he knows more about that city than us who stay in the south most of our lives.</p>
<p>As DS grows up and starts to learn more and more which we do not know, the roles of “who takes care of whom” have been slowly switched.</p>
<p>The process of switching the roles does not always go smoothly. We were constantly reminded that we should “hand off” and let him do his stuff. In this past holiday, we had some difficulties in doing many things for him: buying a pair of shoes (his shoes had a hole on it but he insisted it is still functional but we did not think so), changing his driver’s license as we have moved to a new state, family doctor/dental appointment, and so on. A problem as we see it is that if we does not initiate the actions, it is unlikely he will do it while he has more time for it, but when we butt in, he would complain that he should be the one who handles it. But strange as it is, he would go to my wife to “vent” (not at all about seeking her advice, and she is VERY careful about giving any advice for such a touchy personal problem - while I “pretend” I do not know or care about anything) about his new rocky relationship - I guess it was because he’s hurt but he has no one else (we are in a new city) to vent about it. When he gets back to school, he has his circle of friends with him and it could become better.</p>
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Eh…I wasn’t aware of such a crack down. I’ve had no problem buying with someone’s card. Just swipe and sign, and you’re out. If I did have a problem using a card…I was never stopped and pulled to the side or questioned or (like in the case above) lectured! :eek:</p>
<p>^^^My Ds use my credit card all the time (with my permission) and have no problem at all.</p>
<p>Same here. In high school, my son used my card multiple times with no problems. Once he started driving, I wanted to make sure that he had a means of paying for gas if he didn’t have any cash. I only got a card for him in his own name when he went to France because I didn’t want him to be in a foreign country without a backup in his name for emergency purposes. This way he has his debit card for all his day-to-day purchases and an emergency credit card that is linked to my account.</p>
<p>I often give S my debit card and pin so he can take my car to the gas station and fill it up for me (and get a couple of hot dogs for his trouble.)</p>
<p>What credit card crackdown are we talking about? My kids have no trouble using my cards. I’m rarely asked for an ID myself and there is no more signing so it’s basically just swipe and go. Crackdown? It seems easier than ever to use someone else’s card.</p>
<p>Perhaps HI’s CC purchases were bigger than ours?</p>
<p>Many stores have policies where you have to show your ID for purchases larger than x. Heck, a CVS recently made me show ID!</p>
<p>Flossy, there was a crackdown in 2009-ish that made it almost impossible for people under the age of 21 to get credit cards (independent from their parents). It makes stores more suspicious when they see a young person with a card now.</p>
<p>Yes, 25-dollars was the rule for a while, there. But, lately I’m not being asked to sign for larger amounts, too. It’s usually under 100 before the ID questions happen around here. S uses my card for gas and there is no checking anything at the pump. A fill-up is $50.</p>
<p>That crackdown stuff is interesting because my 19-year old kid got a card about a year ago. He applied for several and got one. I think it’s Discover. I was not involved in any way. D lives on debit card swiping so I can’t imagine that credit card swiping would raise eyebrows, anywhere. Clerks really don’t care. Maybe, they should. But they don’t.</p>
<p>Though some allow others to use their credit cards, this should not be done, as the cards are non-transferable.</p>
<p>If one refers to their cardmember agreement it should have wording to the effect of “The Card may only be used by the person to whom it is issued, and at no time should you authorize anyone else to use the Card.”</p>
<p>DS used our jointly-owned credit card for a large ticket item (over one thousand dollars). The credit card company would not authorize it until we had called them.</p>
<p>I think it is because he had not used that credit card in that city before. (Somehow he still does not like to use either of his credit cards - he has two credit cards - one in his own name. Neither got used other than buying airline tickets and occasionally in a restaurant.) I believe this happened to us also. If we do not call the credit card company to tell them that we are going to use the card in a new city, that credit card company would not authorize the payment.</p>
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<p>Whenever my D visits from college, she often offers to go to the grocery store for me on the days that I work. I am completely exhausted after work, so this is SO helpful to me. So I will continue to give her my credit card on those occasions or any other occasion I decide. I am paying for it, the grocery store does not check IDs, and it has worked out every time. If it turns out the card is declined because she is not the card holder, I won’t be angry, but so far that has never been an issue.</p>
<p>When I was in middle school, my folks would literally give me a signed blank check every morning. I would take it and go grocery shopping as soon as I got home from school at the neighborhood grocery store. I did this for 2 years. Never was asked for ID any of those years. It worked fine. Had no plan B in case the check was questioned.</p>
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<p>I think this depended on location and how well a business knew a given family and the child(ren). </p>
<p>No way would this have worked in my old NYC neighborhood, especially considering there were some cases of parents and late elementary/middle school kids who were arrested and prosecuted for passing bad checks. </p>
<p>Then again, things were so bad that many grocery stores wouldn’t accept checks period unless the customer was a longtime customer known for being reliable and prompt with payments.</p>
<p>When I was very young, my parents would ask me to go to the stores in the small town (where everybody knew everybody) to “buy” something by “charging it.” They did not give me any money/check to buy it. The store owner would just hand me whatever the parents asked me to buy and kept a record on how much my family owed them. After some time, the store owner might “visit” my family (or the other way around) and my parents would pay it off.</p>
<p>I guess that this might not work if the kid who was sent to the store was not from a trustworthy family. The reputation of a family is very important in that kind of society. It was much like the society in the story of Jane Austen - the offsprings would even have a trouble in finding the mate if their parents’ (or any of other family member’s) reputation is damaged.</p>
<p>It was a very strange system. It was like a credit card system without an actual credit card. Later, this system disappeared.</p>
<p>Our family lived in the street right behind the market and shopping center. We marketed there many times a week and daily was common. No one in our family has ever passed any bad checks as far as I know. I tried to spend less than $20 in making dinner for the nine of us. Sometimes I spent more but did buy a lot of chicken, hamburger and round steak. It worked for us. We would have had to figure out another system if the market wasn’t so obliging.</p>
<p>I also opened my own saving account at a S&L when I was a young teen. Our family was considered VERY trustworthy and never had any problems having checks cashed. </p>
<p>We went to the neighborhood schools and church. Our community was pretty friendly. Only in retrospect did it seem unusual that I was allowed to tender signed checks where the signator was absent. The system allowed me not to have to carry much, if any cash, which was the way I preferred it.</p>