Snowplow parents

[dyiu13]

<p>Related to discussion. Worth reading to the end:</p>

<p>The Case for Nagging Kids About Their Homework
The backlash against “helicopter parenting” may have gone too far.</p>

<p>[The</a> Case for Nagging Kids About Their Homework - Lisa Endlich Heffernan - The Atlantic](<a href=“The Case for Nagging Kids About Their Homework - The Atlantic”>The Case for Nagging Kids About Their Homework - The Atlantic)</p>

[rockvillemom]

<p>Great article from Slate by Brooke Donatone:</p>

<p>[Brooke</a> Donatone](<a href=“http://www.slate.com/authors.brooke_donatone.html]Brooke”>Brooke Donatone)</p>

<p>“Why Millenials Can’t Grow Up”</p>

<p>

Millennials do have to face some issues that previous generations did not. A college degree is now the career equivalent of what a high school degree used to be. This increases the pressure on kids to go to college and makes the process more competitive. The sluggish economy no longer yields a wealth of jobs upon graduation.</p>

<p>Rates of depression are soaring among millennials in college. A 2012 study by the American College Counseling Association reported a 16 percent increase in mental-health visits since 2000 and a significant increase in crisis response over the past five years. According to recent studies, 44 percent of college students experienced symptoms of depression, and suicide is one of the leading causes of death among college students.

</p>

<p>

The big problem is not that they think too highly of themselves. Their bigger challenge is conflict negotiation, and they often are unable to think for themselves. The overinvolvement of helicopter parents prevents children from learning how to grapple with disappointments on their own. If parents are navigating every minor situation for their kids, kids never learn to deal with conflict on their own. Helicopter parenting has caused these kids to crash land.

</p>

<p>This resonates with me. Learning to fail at something and then pick yourself back up is such an important life skill.</p>

[oldfort]

<p>I actually don’t agree with “backing off” advice people are giving for montegut’s situation. Her son is looking for a job and applying for graduate schools the first time. As his parent, I would tell him that he should go to the career center about job search and speak with his advisor about applying to graduate schools. I would coach him about what to do, but have him do the actual work. </p>

<p>I consider myself to have a lot more experience when it comes to job search than my kids. Why shouldn’t I pass on my wisdom to my kids? Why should I have my kids learn the hard way? I wish I had someone to go to when I first started out. </p>

<p>When D1 was interviewing for a finance job, I prepped her and coached her. She ended up with multiple offers. She continues to seek my advice about various work related issues. Now I’ll go to her sometimes with my work problems and she is a good sounding board for me. </p>

<p>The analogy would be, you could just throw someone in a pool and that person could learn the hard way of how to swim, but probably would never have the best strokes to go very fast, or you could teach the person how to breath in and out of water, how to move his arms and legs so he could swim faster and longer. I learned the hard way. I could certainly pass on some of my experience so my kids could go further.</p>

[Niquii77]

<p>I strongly agree with oldfort. Please do NOT back off. Coach your child. </p>

<p>This is from a child who has had their hand held for their entire existence. It’s a learning process for both my mom and me, but she has slowly guided me into taking things into my own hands. Rather than finding who to talk to, she asks who I can talk to, tells me to share the concerns I’m sharing with her with someone who has the power to do something. </p>

<p>I go to her all the time for advice on being professional and such. Your son still needs guidance.</p>