<p>halfof8 made an interesting point and one that isn't often expressed on these forums. My son is more successful when he's at the top of the heap, when he would struggle with something he would cave. He would always dig himself out eventually and he never gives up. Not just academics but sports too. When he was leading the pack he would shine and soar to new heights. We put a very purposeful college list together where he would be top of the heap so to speak. This is a tact that most would not take, most would say find the toughest place you can, but the idea is that you grow and learn and finding your speed and style is not a bad idea. Some kids who are very successful in high school are really scared about heading off and having to "prove themselves" all over again academically.</p>
<p>I think that you can reduce stress by telling her she doesn't have to go, or that if she goes, she doesn't have to stay - she could transfer, she could come home and take a semester or a year off. (Of course you don't want her to do this, but let her know its an option.) Put down a deposit somewhere; reserve a spot for her. Once AP/IB tests are done, her brain will start unwinding. Make sure her summer is not to stressful. By August, I predict she will be wanting to leave.</p>
<p>My daughter is stressed now and completely exhausted, but she can picture herself living in a dorm, eating late night pizza, and going to Saturday afternoon football games (without being a squad leader in HS marching band and then running to work the concession stand to raise money for prom - just going to a football game for the fun of it!) in just seven short months. I think that is what is keeping her going. We will all be glad on May 1 when the college decision is final-final on May 15 when all of her AP tests are over :-) and life calms down.</p>