“What would the advice be if the son were giving up a music scholarship? An academic full ride? An international opportunity?”
Different because none of those things carries a known and definite high risk for brain injury.
This is a college board. For most people, the idea of college is primarily directed at improving one’s mind. It is completely and directly relevant to discuss an activity that has a high risk of injuring that mind that college is supposed to develop and improve.
The only reason football still happens on college campuses is that cultural preference changes more slowly than our medical knowledge and for the time being, people want to try to ignore what we know because football is fun to watch and is a tradition. In 20 years’ time, we’ll be horrified that we allowed smart young men to literally turn their brain to mush for our viewing pleasure.
Flame away, stay in denial, whatever you need to do to ignore this awkward reality, but it is what it is.
I agree with you @twoinanddone - my D is also a college athlete, the sport is part of who she is and she loves it there. Her teammates are her friends and she would be devastated if she were injured and unable to continue playing but I am quite sure she’d never regret her choice to go to her college.
Actually, the issue is not that the son wants to give up football, but that he is prioritizing his relationship with his girlfriend over the ability to play D1 football.
My point is that the OP doesn’t care what you think about the risks in football. That has been made very clear by the OP herself. The OP wants advice about a child who is putting a girlfriend above what may (or may not) be personal fulfillment.
@mama2222- I hope you are still out there, despite all of the unwanted advice about football head injuries. A lot can happen between now and when your son has to apply for colleges and even more can happen between when the GF leaves for school and when your son has to have applications in. The GF may no longer be in the picture at that point, and if so, your son may be more open to applying to a variety of schools. The issue is that in order to be considered for sports scholarships, your son has to start the process now. I do have to question how serious he is about football if he is willing to give it up for a GF?? I know that our son was passionate about his sport enough so that he was willing to do anything to be able to play in college. We had the issue of convincing him that academics was the more important criteria, and that he had worked too hard in HS to end up at a school based solely on sports. I don’t know your financial situation and am wondering if a sports scholarship is important in order for your son to attend a good school? If so, there is no judgement here as I know kids who probably would not have graduated from college w/o a sports scholarship. Unfortunately, the recruitment process is daunting in itself, without trying to get through it with a kid who is not even interested. If your son is telling you he does not care enough about football to start talking to coaches, I don’t think there is much point in starting that process. If the GF thing does not work out, your son may have serious regrets about not pursuing football, but unfortunately that is all part of maturing. I hope he understands that it will be difficult to pick up football at a later date if he changes his mind.
@LIdadof3 A GF who really cared about ‘him’ wouldn’t even ask him to give up football. My D dreamed of playing college lacrosse, her HS boyfriend (for 4 years) always wanted to join the military - they both did, they see each other rarely but they are both following their dreams.
@lastone03 agree too, second the geesh. @mama2222 I hope you are still reading, though this thread seems to have taken on a life if it’s own. It’s a hard road but there will be light at the end of the tunnel.
Okay so imagine a post that says the GF is a priority over a hobby of swimming with predatory sharks. I guess we should ignore the issue of the sharks and just focus on the GF issue.
@compmom yes please – so long as the OP already indicated he/she understood the risks of swimming with predatory sharks; are we assuming such a hobby might also launch a scholarship or career??
No amount of money is worth risking life or health. We have lived with and are still dealing with a TBI that wasn’t a choice the way this young man’s would be.
And thousands of players make the choice to play football every year, and take the scholarship.
Maybe one of the schools interested in the OP’s son is the school the GF attends. It’s hard to do football recruiting that way (picking just one school and hoping they want you), but if he’s good enough that school will probably want him.
There’s 1.1 million HS kids that play football each year. Which means that there are a couple million well informed, good, and caring parents that permit their kids to play.
@compmom – I am sorry about your child’s difficulties.