<p>We're in need of sound advice, our son is failing his first semester of his freshmen year, which is unlike him, so we thought. He has been an excellent student taking challenging classes throughout high school along with being involved in extra curricular activities and holding a part time job. We're stressed and disappointed with the idea of him now failing college. Can we attribute part of this as simply "adjusting" to college life?</p>
<p>He's currently taking Psychology 101, Kinesiology 101, English 101, Math 170, along with being in the ROTC program. Though his school is completely paid for through scholarships and grants; going against our suggestion, he insists on continuing to work part time at a job he's held for the past year and a half.</p>
<p>His schedule is not only taking a toll on him but his grades also. He's not used to receiving failing grades and he's upset and doesn't know what to do and of course as parents we feel helpless. I've suggested this site to him for advice so hopefully once he's able to take a breather he'll be on here himself seeking information. Until then I thought I would get a jump start on it.</p>
<p>What is see the problem being is not managing his time properly, which forces him to play catch up in classes that he's missed in order to finish assignments that were due. Several times he has spent the whole night studying for tests only to end up sleeping through those class periods that the tests were taken. </p>
<p>What are his options? Quit his job and possibly drop the class that he seems to be struggling the most in? If he drops a class how does that look on his transcript when it comes to him furthering his education? </p>
<p>Any suggestions related to this would be greatly appreciated. Thank You.</p>
<p>Unfortunately, this isn’t something that you probably can help with. Saying this as a former college prof who myself was on academic probation as a freshman and had a S who flunked out of college.</p>
<p>Your S needs to do what’s necessary to have the time he needs to study. He probably knows what he needs to do, but isn’t bothering to do this. </p>
<p>That may mean stopping working and stopping partying (something he likely is doing even if he doesn’t tell you about this). He also needs to keep up with his course assignments, use professors’ office hours and take advantage of whatever study resources the school offers.</p>
<p>As a college prof, I only seldom saw students fail because they were unable to do the work. Typically students failed because of procrastination. too much partying or concentrating on ECs while ignoring their coursework.</p>
<p>Unfortunately, some students only learn that professors are serious about grades when the students get failing grades.</p>
<p>All you can do is let your S know now what the consequences will be if he loses his scholarship and/or flunks out, and you need to hold him to those consequences. </p>
<p>My sons knew that offspring who were not fulltime students would be able to live at home only if they followed family rules and paid rent. They also knew that if they flunked out of school or lost scholarships, H and I wouldn’t replace those things until after my kids returned to school on their own dime and proved they were serious by getting good grades for at least a year.</p>
<p>imo dropping a class is by far less damaging than failing one. You can’t cure his troubles, but maybe you can remove a few of his troubles to open up greater opportunity for success. Based on what you’ve told us I recommend he quit that part-time job, and you offer to make up the difference in his money lost, for one semester maybe 2; Then re-evaluate. Flunking school and possibly losing scholarships is far more costly than chipping in spending money now. A high-schooler often thinks of college as the “next grade up” just as stepping from 10th to 11th grade.
I think it is a combination of adjustments plus his being overbooked. Courses and activities he had time for in high school require different study times and habits now in college.
If you can pickup his lost wages, the student benefits doubly; more time for study and no worry about lost spending money. Plus, you, as the parent gain. You gain the comfort of knowing you were there to help him, and took action to help him. If (hope not) he should not succeed at this time in college, you won’t be troubled all your life thinking “if only I had releived some of his burden he could have made it”. Better for you to have no regrets. I’m no college grad, I’m 50, and to this day, my Dad is sometimes troubled by what he <em>didn’t do</em> that might have helped keep me on course. I bear no ill will, but he is troubled sometimes by that.
Of course student should also be up-front with his profs and his course counselor; they may offer additional help or advice.</p>
<p>I think NSM stated it well - he probably knows what he needs to change and it’s a matter of him just doing it. His courseload doesn’t look very difficult. He should be able to manage a part time job with it okay as long as it’s part time and not full time so that’s likely not the problem. He should focus objectively on how he’s spending his time - </p>
<ul>
<li>partying excessively</li>
<li>playing video games excessively </li>
<li>hanging out and socializing excessively</li>
</ul>
<p>He also needs to understand that he’ll likely not be successful if his strategy is to do little in the way of studies until the night before the exam and then cramming all night. He might have gotten away with this in HS but it generally won’t work at the college level. Of course sleeping through exams usually results in an F whwther the student is intelligent or knows the material or not.</p>
<p>Even though he likely knows it go ahead and explain the consequences of his actions - losing his scholarships, getting kicked out of ROTC, parents unwilling to fund college when he’s not successful and not trying properly, ending up moving back home (if he’s in dorms) and going to a CC, etc. He needs ot understand that the consequences are real. He needs to understand that he’s no longer in compulsory education - he needs to take charge of himself - he’s in the driver’s seat on this one.</p>
<p>Northstarmom always has sound advice. I’ll just add my two cents…you mention classes he’s missed. Why is he missing class?<br>
I don’t hear anything about him going for tutoring or going to his academic advisor.<br>
If he were premed and taking organic chem or an engineering student I would lean toward thinking that there is a big learning curve in college classes.<br>
In the list of your son’s classes I don’t see anything which seems out of his academic reach.<br>
The staying up all night and then sleeping through a test means that he isn’t working daily. I would guess he is doing quite a bit of partying he isn’t telling you about. Time to spell out for him the consequences of losing his scholarship, and failing out of school. Once you spell it out for him as to what will work for your family he will have to make his own choices.</p>
<p>Maybe a little helicoptering by mom/dad will get him back on point. Realistically, how much parental support did your son need while in high school? Now that he has free rein to schedule himself he is not doing a good job in keeping all the plates spinning. Agree with dropping the part time job, he has too much to lose financially by losing his scholarships and grants. Perhaps, a love interest taking up his study time? Is there is still time to salvage this semester? Will he make the changes needed? Good luck.</p>
<p>I can see myself in your shoes one year from now and I am sure you are both frustrated and heart broken (and a wee bit ticked off)</p>
<p>I read an article in a college magazine that I have saved for my high school senior, but cannot put my hands on it right now. Here are the main points.</p>
<p>The current CEO of Prudential Insurance (John Stangfeld) was interviewed about his college days. He said that after his first semester he was just barely passing. He made a promise to himself to try a one semester experiment. He vowed that on Monday-Thursday he would be the first to go to the library after class and the last to leave the library every night. On Friday, Sat and Sunday he would have fun and relax. He was pleasantly surprised by the results.</p>
<p>I too had trouble with college and it was because I was discovering freedoms I never knew existed and I was horrible at time management. </p>
<p>You guys will make it through this…so hang in there!</p>
<p>I gave the following advice to my DS1: college is your full time job. That means that you should spend 40 hours a week at it, as a baseline, inclusive of the time you are in class. If you want to be involved in other activities (socialization/part-time job/Ecs), please do them only after you’ve committed to and are able to keep up with the 40 hour per week baseline committment you’ve made to school. Expect to spend more time in class and with school work over and above the 40 hours during mid-terms and final exam periods, just as you would expect to work ‘overtime’ during busy seasons for any employer, or for yourself…</p>
<p>In response, and to acclimate to life in a dorm, DS1 chose to participate only minimally in ECs this first term of college, which was fine with me. He also chose not to work, and to work next summer at 2 jobs instead of one (both are jobs he had this past summer and total about 55 hours per week of ‘paid’ work). So far, he’s finding a baseline effectively, drawing some boundaries around himself to feel productive (i.e. going to the library instead of working in the dorm and asking people to leave his dorm when he needs them to do so). He’s seen kids ‘take on too much’ already and struggle, because the demands of college classes exceed those of high school classes, so this pattern seems to work for him…</p>
<p>Has your son visited the academic dean or the head of Freshman advising yet?</p>
<p>You can’t solve this for him. He needs to seek out the resources that are there- that exist for all the issues you’ve just articulated.</p>
<p>The College will want to help him triage. The Dean will help him determine the best way to finish the semester with a maximum number of credits and ways to minimize the GPA “hit”. (in some colleges an incomplete is better than a W. Other’s it’s the reverse. Still at others, if he drops the course before a certain date it doesn’t even appear on his transcript.) So getting advice from the source is essential asap.</p>
<p>Then it’s off to the counseling/advising/tutoring center. They will work with him on study strategies. Your son has probably assumed that his HS skills will be adequate and in most cases they are not- not just time management, but because in college, professor’s rarely spend the lecture time reviewing what was in the reading. Or even referencing the reading. The reading exists on its own, and the professor may not tie everything together until the last weeks of class- he or she may use class time to explore an interesting sidebar. So kids who figure they can miss class since they did the reading, or skip the reading since they showed up in class are often destined for disaster.</p>
<p>And finally, if your son is diligently doing ROTC and diligently showing up at work, he is missing the bigger picture- his job right now is to be a college student. ROTC and the job exist to facilitate his studies, not the other way around. So class, studying, paper-writing, exam-taking… plus adequate sleep- these are his A priorities.</p>
<p>Good luck- I know this must be a painful thing for you to watch.</p>
<p>His Cadre should be sitting on him as soon as they get whiff of his situation. In addition, besides the minimum GPA required by the university, I believe he will need to get his GPA up to a 2.5 IIRC (someone double check for me - it may be 2.75) to keep his ROTC scholarship. However, IIRC he can regain it once his GPA gets up to their minimum.</p>
<p>In that light, I would recommend dropping the class that he is in the deepest hole in (one less F makes bringing up the GPA easier in subsequent semesters). </p>
<p>As with everyone else, including his Cadre, he needs to quit the job today. </p>
<p>Ultimately, what he did was underestimated the difficulty of what he was taking on. Yeah, he may be gaming, partying, etc., but all students allocate some time to relaxation. He just did not accurately gage how much he could do.</p>
<p>A lot the time allocation problem has to do with his goals. If his goals were to keep the minimum necessary GPA to keep his scholarship and planned his leisure accordingly, he made the fatal error of not leaving enough slack to make up for the unanticipated stuff that happens (hard test, getting sick, etc.) that happens.</p>
<p>The most successful students are the ones who look at what they have in their in-basket, get as far (and do as well on it) as they can on it as soon as possible, and then leave the rest of their time to relaxation pursuits.</p>
<p>There isn’t much you can do now except let him work himself out of things. Hopefully, his ROTC unit will provide the necessary social supports to get him through.</p>
<p>back2reality – Is ROTC considered a class? The reason I ask is that if not, your son might be in jeopardy of going to part-time status if he drops a class. It is important to find out if he can drop a class and still be considered a full-time student.</p>
<p>My freshman’s school pretty much insists that freshmen start out with 15 or 16 credits so the kids can drop at class and still meet the 12 credit cutoff for full-time status.</p>
<p>I personally would not be too worried about a withdrawal for a class (if full-time status is not an issue). I don’t think that is going to cause a problem in the long run for a first semester freshman.</p>
<p>I’m sorry for his problems. Poor academic performance is a worry for me with my son. We see interims next week.</p>
<p>4 classes is not a huge courseload if there are no labs. I don’t know how much time ROTC takes, but I, too, think he needs to quit the job pronto, like tomorrow. Freshman don’t need very much spending money and not having money takes away the inclination to go off campus and spend it. If he has a car, that might be an issue, too, but not having money means no gas so kids get smart real quick about how much running around they can do. Do check the minimum credits he can carry to still be a full time student as his scholarships, etc. could be in trouble if he drops below the minimum. Do check all these variables before you counsel him to drop a class. It will vary from school to school. 12 credit hours to 15 credit hours is a typical not too difficult courseload at my son’s school. I also agree there is probably more to this story than meets the eye. There usually is. You also need to understand what “failing” means if you don’t already and exactly what situation he is in. If he if he isn’t already, he needs to start communicating with his advisor to help him put a better plan in place for time management. You can’t solve your son’s problem anymore, he needs to solve it himself but you can lay down the consequences and follow through with them if he doesn’t take the steps to solve his problems. It is heartbreaking to watch this happen but it’s early and there is time for your son to seize control and change the outcome.</p>
<p>I think he is not doing what he is supposed to do if you ask me. I’ve never seen anyone fail who was using their time properly and efficiently. In the end, doing what you are supposed to do always works. Is he studying properly for each class. As profs say, 2-3 hours of study per hour course work is what is needed to get good grades. Now, I wouldn’t recommend working if you are on a full time schedule with ROTC. That can be too much depending on the person. But I have friends who have done it, and did really well in school. IMO, he needs to choose between working and the ROTC. He can always join ROTC later. It isn’t like the military is going anywhere. He could join next year, or his junior year. As others have said. Something is very fishy. He should have more than enough time to do his work. The only class he has to complain about is math if he is weak in that subject. All the other classes consist of reading and writing, that is it. There is a gap that needs to be explained. I would seriously get to the bottom of things if I were you.</p>
<p>I suspect that your son, like a lot of college freshmen, does not know how to study or manage his time. Many students who did well in high school never really had to study, so they never learned how. And it’s likely that a lot of his time management was done for him in high school – partly by teachers who gave out frequent, small assignments (rather than the less frequent but larger ones typical of college) and partly by you (because your family life created a certain degree of structure that isn’t present at college).</p>
<p>Fortunately, there are resources on college campuses to help students develop the study and time management skills they never needed before.</p>
<p>The academic advising center at your son’s college – or his individual advisor – should be able to direct him to places where he can learn how to study more effectively, get tutoring in specific subjects, work on improving his writing, work on time management, or whatever else he needs. Professors’ or TAs’ office hours are a starting point, but they’re only a starting point. Some students need to make use of other resources as well.</p>
<p>Your son may need your encouragement to seek out services like these. Because he did well in high school, he probably never had to seek help before. He may be uncomfortable with the idea of getting help, and he may not know where to start looking. A little direction from you might be helpful.</p>
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<p>Quantenoptik has a good point here, but you also have to know HOW to do what you are supposed to do. I don’t think we should assume that students necessarily have that knowledge. For example, a lot of freshmen don’t understand that the most effective ways to study math are completely different from the most effective ways to study psychology.</p>
<p>I know how frustrated and worried you must be. I think you’ve gotten some good advice here. DD is a graduating senior applying to grad school. We’ve talked alot over the last 4 years about her friends who have done well and those who struggled. Just a few observations that she’s mentioned:</p>
<p>~skipping classes; She said she is amazed by the number of kids who just don’t go to class and are suprised when they don’t do well. That comes back to bite you in so many ways. One thing to make sure is that as a freshman, your son schedules classes that are realistic to his body clock - DD knows she is not a morning person. She would take a night class rather than an early morning class, given a choice.</p>
<p>~so many kids don’t know how to study; Lots of bright kids do very well in high school without really having to develop good study habits, then get to college and find they can’t get by on what the effort they put in for h.s. Have your son seek out study skills if you think that could be part of his problem.</p>
<p>~always schedule enough classes so you can drop one class if you get in over your head and still be full time (for insurance and scholarship purposes if nothing else, not to mention graduating on time); Always be aware of the date to drop without a “W”, many classes will have at least one exam before that date.</p>
<p>~keep ecs and jobs out of the picture until grades are established; some kids just need time to get their feet on the ground. That’s easier to do without the extra stuff. DD has carried 18 hours almost every semester with student research assistant position in a lab and a social life (I stressed when she was a freshman but she proved me wrong and has been quite successful).</p>
<p>With all that said, I was one of those bright college kids that struggled because I got behind in classes and thought I could handle an active social life; thinking back, I think all the freedom just got the best of me. My dad sat me down and told me I either needed to get my act together or sit out a semester. I got my act together and went on through grad school.</p>
<p>If he is a historically bright and accomplished student he may have hit his wall- that point where just being bright is no longer enough. Many smart kids just don’t know what to do at that point. They begin to feel like an imposter, not that smart and subconsciously give up.</p>
<p>Some kids learn how to cope on their own, some need to fail first, some might be saved if they hear the helpers and act on it on time.</p>
<p>He needs to quit the job for the rest of the term at least. Relook at the course syllabi and determine whether or not he can recover and pass those classes.</p>
<p>If so, he must attend every single session of every class, talk to the profs, go to the campus assistance centers and apply himself. If he is not ready to do that, he might as well withdraw. It is more difficult to recover from bad initial grades than to have done okay from the beginning.</p>
<p>Maybe some profs will agree to waive his first mid term score and give him his final score for a course grade, if it is not a huge weeder course and if it is a cumulative final.</p>
<p>He needs to go to class. Every class. No excuses. It is THE single most important thing. Next is do the homework each and every day. Until he recognizes that, your efforts are futile. S2 and S3 did not. They played computer games all night and slept all day. So they truthfully said they weren’t partying. They just weren’t going to class. Really smart - boys in particular- do not want to admit that what go them through HS won’t work now. They do not like to ask for help. </p>
<p>BTW - you need to check ROTC rules… If he fails, does he owe back his scholarship? A friend is in deep trouble having to pay government back for 2 years of scholarship money with no job…</p>