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<p>I think this is true for many bright high school students who run into trouble in college. </p>
<p>ROTC is very time intensive in and of itself. Besides military things to do, there’s the physical training time you have to put in weekly. </p>
<p>As for a part time job–I could always tell when my D had a part time job in college–her grades suffered.</p>
<p>Before just dropping the job he should really take the time to evaluate what his issues are. For example, if he spends the vast majority of his time on-campus playing video games, socializing, etc. then dropping the job may not help at all - he might just revert to more of the activities that are otherwise occupying him. Even people with much more difficult classes requiring much more work and time, such as engineering, can generally manage to have a part time job and still do well if they’re focused and manage their time well. If one doesn’t manage time well or is distracted by certain activities then even if they have a fairly light load (in terms of work required as opposed to number of classes) they’ll likely not manage well.</p>
<p>Keep in mind that this isn’t that unusual for the first term of the freshman year in college. Hopefully reality in terms of grades, probation, scholarship loss, possible ROTC loss, is hitting him like a ton of bricks and he’ll figure out where he messed up and straighten out.</p>
<p>Attendance, attendance attendance. Homework. Rinse. Repeat.</p>
<p>Thank you for the feedback! It’s so nice to hear other’s perspectives on what may be happening and what the options are. </p>
<p>To answer some of the questions that were raised:</p>
<p>our son is carrying a course load of 17 credits, which he was origianlly told by his advisor that it was too much but he said “he could handle it”</p>
<p>he’s taking a 1 credit course (included in the 17) in Liberal Arts…as a freshman he was advised to take the course (what it’s all about, I have no idea…lol)</p>
<p>Math 170 is Pre-Calculus</p>
<p>the ROTC is a 4 credit course it consists of AES 101, 102 and 294 and as many have stated this program requires numerous hours to be devoted to it (MWF 6-8:30 am is PT and T/R 6:30-9 is Honor Guards and 9-10:15 Lecture)</p>
<p>some days on MWF he may go straight from 6am to 10 at night if he’s scheduled to work (w/ a lunch break 11-12) </p>
<p>he is putting in around 20 hrs/week including the bus rides there and back (so that means he has no car)</p>
<p>he’s a sport nut so he has been attending all the games when available on the weekends</p>
<p>he has always been straight forward with us when we inquire on what’s going on in his life (he even shares his password w/us…not that we’ve asked); but I will never say that he might not be telling us everything, I’m sure he does socialize and maybe party however I would not compare him to a Jim Belushi from Animal House (if he does party…not saying he doesn’t)</p>
<p>he’s always been ambitious in regards to his academics and absolutely LOVES the ROTC</p>
<p>I think that about covers it all! Thank you again for taking the time to provide us with some wonderful responses.</p>
<p>B2R</p>
<p>I don’t have anything new to suggest. But as a mom who might have an ROTC cadet in the same sitch a year from now, please know I’m pulling for your S. </p>
<p>(Also, I was wondering, has your S passed his fitness test? Once he does that he’ll start earning the ROTC stipend of $300 (or is it $350) per month. Hopefully that would make it a bit easier to quit the job.)</p>
<p>I’m sorry you are experiencing this. It is difficult to say what is causing the problem. I know kids and peers who had bad first years or any given semester for isolated reasons, adjustment being one of them. I also know many who did poorly because they just had too much to do with job, extracurricular, courseload, travel, etc. And then there is always that category of kids who are failing because they are not doing the work. Distracted by social issues, contraband, other things. </p>
<p>Definitely, insist that your student meet with someone at the school, a dean, a mentor, advisor, to work with him. However, as others have said, it is really up to him to solve the problem. The parents’ long arm ends at college most of the time. You can encourage and advise, but he is doing the deeds while you are talking, and it is up to him what he is doing.</p>
<p>Have him read a few articles about the firefight in Afghanistan two weeks ago – 300+ Talibanand and Al Qaeda vs a couple of dozen U.S. soldiers. make sure he reads the details of the enemy comming through the wire with the benefit of well planned firing positions for their crew served machine guns and grenade launchers. Ask him to contemplate a firefight that lasts 23 hours. Make sure he fully understands that without the attack helicopters communicating with the R.O.T.C. lieutenants on the ground, there was no way in hell that anybody got out of their alive. Make sure he knows that eight Americans did not get out of there alive and 24 were wounded. Then have him talk to one of the R.O.T.C. officers about he difference between being an officer (with a college degree ) and an enlisted soldier. Tell him that fighting men and women need leaders, not procrastinators. Look him in the eye and tell him that every time he sleeps through class he is cheating the men and women he hopes to lead of their best chance to stay alive and get back home, fall in love, raise families and start the marathon of trying to put the war behind them. Tell him to grow up.</p>
<p>^^^^^^^^^
Wow - I realize that being on an ROTC Scholarship is a serious responsibility. This, however, seems like an awful lot to put on an 18 year old kid.</p>
<p>My son is in ROTC on the scholarship program and gets the stipend. It is too hard for him to work, attend classes in his major (engineering) and have a traditional part time job. ROTC does have a ton of obligations at his colleges, including volunteer commitments (sometimes not so much “volunteer”, if you get my drift!) </p>
<p>There is a work detail that is offered to those in ROTC that is campus security to help pay a partial grant for his housing, but it is not anything like carrying a full workload of classes and 15 or 20 hour or week job. </p>
<p>It is a serious commitment and needs to be treated as such. There are mentors to see about how to get out of this mess - he just needs to reach out to his advisors in ROTC. They will help him - they don’t want him to fail.</p>
<p>Does his college have a counseling center? Most of them do, and it’s included with tuition (i.e. free). Believe me, he is not alone in his troubles. DS attends a pretty selective college and they still offer a series of seminars on Time Management thru the counseling center - you’d expect these are kids who would already know how to manage their time. They might be able to offer sound suggestions.</p>
<p>Staying up all night to study is NEVER a good idea. It is always counter-productive. Studies have shown this over and over again. Yet people continue to do it anyway.</p>
<p>I’d suggest he visit the counseling center, they could probably give him some concrete suggestions.</p>
<p>I am so sorry for all the worry you and your son must be feeling. This situation is not that unusual.</p>
<p>Is he willing to listen? Stop working? Solutions really depend on his willingness.</p>
<p>We counsel that frosh take only 12 credits first semester so 17 is a lot. If he can drop the troublesome class, I would support him in doing that.</p>
<p>My D was failing one of her frosh classes. She only had 12 credits. Her dean got her a dispensation to carry only 9 credits that semester. Once that was off her plate things improved. She has just graduated with a very nice GPA and no recurrence of that first semester experience.</p>
<p>My suggestion is to quit the job and cut down on the weekend games until his grades improve. If he balks at the suggestion, then tell him to cut something else that would save him equivalent number of hours.</p>
<p>College is serious work just by itself, he needs to massively shift his focus.</p>
<p>
</p>
<p>It’s really
“Attendance, attendance attendance. Office hours. Office hours. Homework. Rinse. Repeat.”</p>
<p>20 hours work is too much together with ROTC. As mentioned by someone earlier, school is equivalent to 40 hr job. He is not there to do part time work, whatever that is. I have an intern working for me remotely from school now. Every time I speak with him, the first thing I ask is how he is doing in school. I tell him that his first obligation is to his schoolwork. I even told him that if his grades should drop he would lose his job.</p>
<p>D1 goes to most of office hours. She says by going to one math office hour, it would save her a few hours work by herself. Sometimes professors would let her know what’s going to be on the test. When it comes to paper, by the time she turns it in her professor would have read over quite a few times. It is hard to give someone a bad grade when he/she is trying so hard.</p>
<p>OK, if he can drop something and 12 - 15 credit hours is a solid load for freshman fall. My son had 15 his freshman fall and wishes he had done 12 until he got his feet planted. As a junior now he has no trouble with 15-19. Freshman fall is tough and I agree with mythmom 100% that 12 credit hours is enough for a frosh fall. Yes, he needs to stop the job especially if he has a stipend coming in the near future. The hours he spent on his job can be directed to studying. I don’t have kids that got through high school without studying, but I could understand how a student that didn’t study much in high school could be blindsided upon arrival in college. Hopefully he can square it away and move forward.</p>
<p>agree on the fail on my part. Office hours are a must! </p>
<p>When I was teaching, the kids who came to class knew when they needed to come to office hours. If you’re not in class, you don’t even know what you don’t know. Big disadvantage. But, not insurmountable. The professors know there is a steep learning curve for first years. If a first year starts to show up in the front row and starts to show up at the office? There is a huge benefit of the doubt dividend to be earned. Don’t underestimate the fact that the professors really do want to teach the kids who really want to learn. The worst situations can be turned around.</p>
<p>Oh, I agree with poet girl, if he can do it, sitting front and center forces you to pay attention; tough to doodle and be distracted right in the front. I always did that in college and it worked.</p>
<p>And let’s face it, it isn’t just doodling, these days. It’s facebook checking, texting and all manners of flirting with your classmates. </p>
<p>Sitting in the front keeps you honest in a classroom. I always did it, when possible. My grades reflected my seating choices, too, now that I think about it.</p>
<p>There was a study done where they found people actually listen better when they are doodling.:)</p>
<p>Northstarmom is absolutely correct. Having gone through this with my S, I had to back off and let him figure it out on his own. He not only flunked out once, but twice and now he is on his 3rd try at the same school. (Top UC by the way) if it had been me as a counselor, I would have said adios as hard as that would have been for me but he knows what he has to do, it is up to him to do it. I can’t help him. He did have some very serious things happen to him his sophomore year in college that were beyond his control so I think he decided to just enjoy life because it is short. I think he is finally back on track but time will tell.</p>
<p>I would sit down and talk to him about his off campus job. Why does he keep it? 20 hours a week (including travel time) is just plain too much. UNLESS the real truth is that he LIKES working and maybe even would rather BE working than in school.</p>
<p>Find out if that is his real truth. And if it is, help him cut back on school so that he can work full-time. There is nothing wrong with doing that for a while. School can wait.</p>