<p>I was wondering about the job, too. If he has had it for a year and a half, does that mean it is back in your home town? Is your son a commuter or does he live on campus? All that travel for a part time job seems like a misguided use of time, unless the job somehow pays phenomenally or will lead directly into a career? I am confused by this.</p>
<p>What the other posters have said is all well and good but I think maybe the best thing for him to do is identify one or two friends at school who are doing well in their courses this fall, and then ask to study with them, sort of as study partners/study buddies. He will then be studying without feeling alone or overwhelmed, be studying with someone who is actually studying (no temptation to “cheat” when your bud is at the same table as you are but studying instead of facebooking), and may pick up on some of his friends’ study techniques that may be helpful to him. Then maybe at the end of the session they can compare notes, problem solutions etc.Trading notes after class is also sometimes helpful. For example, my S3 has an economics class that meets once a week for 3 hours…the professor is very good but he speaks softly and in somewhat of a monotone, and my son admits it is hard to focus for the entire class sometimes. So he and 2 classmates trade notes after class to make sure they all have “everything” and generally, between the 3 of them, they do. He’s also picked up some note taking strategies from them…another plus.</p>
<p>I think that for first semester students sometimes the problem is not the willingness to do the work, it’s just not knowing how to do the work…college is such a different academic environment than most high schools. </p>
<p>Your son sounds like he has had a wake up call and wants to do well…my guess is that right now he is so overwhelmed that what he needs a bunch of small steps that he can take one at a time in the right direction to get his confidence back. If he could meet with each professor and get the names of one or two kids in each class who are doing well (if he doesn’t already know who they are) to study with, or even ask around his ROTC group’s older members to see who has had his courses before that could help him a bit on a regular basis, it might be helpful to him.</p>
<p>Returning to this thread with more information from the OP (17 units - including 4 from ROTC) + 15-20 hrs/week job + social life (attending sporting events, etc.) + commuting on a bus = big problem.</p>
<p>I’m starting to see a financial issue here. It sounds like your son is trying to save up for something (I’m thinking car) with the job ($400 - 500) per month + ROTC stipend ($350 per month tax free). Sounds like he is unnecessarily insecure in his position in life. </p>
<p>He also sounds like an optimist - always thinking he can do more, which isn’t bad in and of itself, but he needs to temper this with patience - he is in sound financial shape without the part-time job (ROTC IS HIS JOB - it is paying the bills). </p>
<p>What he fails to realize is that he is jeopardizing the whole operation (failing grades = no ROTC scholarship and no stipend) for a stinking $8.00 or so an hour. </p>
<p>And somehow I get the feeling he is still in denial that he cannot do it all…</p>
<p>As to the social life, his ROTC unit should be exactly that - people with a similar perspective who engage in common activities. The being a part of the sports scene is a luxury that needs to be measured up against the bigger looming financial (and educational) disaster on the horizon.</p>
<p>And I am sympathetic to the family. I have a daughter (goaliegirl) who is currently a HS senior contemplating a full-plate next year (ROTC + D3 hockey). It is doable, but like the OP’s sons situation, full of the potential to over-commit. </p>
<p>I’ll be staying tuned to learn more…</p>
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<p>There’s his problem.</p>
<p>You must INSIST that he quit the job NOW. School is his job. If he loses his scholarships it will cost him and you FAR more than he can make. Offer to give him an allowance if necessary.</p>
<p>I’m sorry you and your son are going through this. 
It sounds like he has an incredibly busy schedule.</p>
<p>I would suggest to him that he keep a log for a week of his daily activities . . . Every fifteen minutes, write down “9:15 AM - in Precalc class” or “12:15 PM - Lunch”, etc. Then have him identify how much time he’s spending on each task, how much time he actually needs for each class, and what needs to “go.” I would say the job needs to go–20 hours a week is a LOT, especially for a freshman. Also he should probably cut back on the games.</p>
<p>The hard part will be letting HIM figure it out, though.</p>
<p>One thing you should emphasize to him is that even if he’s failing right NOW, it’s not too late to set things right, either by dropping classes or working his butt off to bring his grades up (or some of each.) If he skipped a bunch of classes or failed a test, he may feel embarrassed about going back (especially if it is a smaller class where the professor recognizes everyone, rather than hundreds of people in a lecture hall.) Well, it is better to be embarrassed in the short term but go back, fix your mistakes, and succeed in the long run than it is to fail all your classes and be booted out of college. Besides, professors have seen it all. He isn’t the first kid to be failing his courses.</p>
<p>If he was a kid who glided through high school, asking for outside help (like study groups or tutors) may not be his first instinct. That’s another option he should examine. If you need a study group, there is no shame in that!</p>
<p>You’ve gotten a lot of good advice. I’ve been a professor for 25 years at a mid-size public university and see this situation every semester. I usually call students like your son into my office because there is absolutely no good reason why a first-year student like your son should be flunking my classes. If your son’s professors aren’t on his tail, then he really needs to connect with his academic advisor and/or ROTC advisor so that they can dole out the advice directly. When I haul the student in, here is the list we go over: </p>
<p>1) Study skills: students can do well in high school without studying; that is not the case in college. Most colleges offer study skill workshops at their academic advising centers. Time management is a key part of these workshops. </p>
<p>2) Depression: I tell the student that he/she doesn’t have to feel sad to be depressed. If you are sleeping too much or not sleeping at all, if you don’t look forward to the day four our of seven days, etc. you may be depressed. This happens in college, especially if the transition from a positive high school experience to college has been rocky. The counseling center offers individual and group counseling, and referrals to psychologists for supportive medication. </p>
<p>3) Substance abuse: drugs, alcohol, video games. Academic advisors and professors are able to talk about this stuff openly. It’s a fact of college life. We tell students that all of these things can get students in trouble. Formal help is available at the counseling center. Sometimes students need to move into a different living situation in order to free themselves of hard-drinking “friends” and to turn over a new leaf. </p>
<p>4) Immaturity. Does the student want to be in college? Do they have a goal? Are they there because that was the next step? In twenty-five years, I’ve found that more boys than girls aren’t ready for college. They don’t really want to be there and the only aspect of college they enjoy is the partying. They are wasting mom and dad’s money and everyone’s time (including their professors). I suggest that they go home and work. It is a pleasure to have a student back in class after one-two years of growing up. </p>
<p>I have only had a couple of students who lacked the cognitive ability for college. The other students’ problems have fallen under one of the categories above. Finding out which ones are the source of the problem is key and directing the student toward the appropriate campus resources is important. </p>
<p>If your son’s problem is immaturity, see if the ROTC support can be put on hold in some way. Have your son come home in January and work for a year or so. If he flunks all courses this fall, he may have to retake the courses at a community college (open enrollment) to get off academic probation and be able to return. However, in my experience, starting those classes in January after flunking out the fall semester is not a good idea if the problem is immaturity. The student will simply flunk the same set of classes at the community college.</p>
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<p>Well, if he loves attending all the games and loves ROTC, ask him why he’s sabotaging himself to the point that those beloved things will be taken away? </p>
<p>If he truly loves those things, ask him how is he going to feel when he flunks out and those lovable things are gone? Ask him…What do you want more…ROTC and sports games …OR…part-time job?</p>
<p>Honestly, I having a hard time comprehending how he is finding sleep while attending school with 17 credit hours, having a job, and the ROTC. Honestly, how much is he sleeping every night. My buddy didn’t have a job at all his freshmen year and it nearly killed him. After that year was over, he really had to evaluate himself and see if the ROTC was what he wanted to do. He ended up deciding it wasn’t his thing. Your son needs to realize he can’t have it all. What he needs to do is evaluate the situation, if he loves the ROTC he needs to be solely dedicated to that, while attending class and keeping his grades all in line. If he feels that his part time job is more important or necessary, he needs to focus on that and school. Trying to be super human is not something I suggest of anyone during there first year of college. All goals must be realistic. As many others have mentioned, his problem might also be not knowing how to study properly. If he is having trouble in math, there should be free tutoring sessions, or Supplemental Instruction sessions he can go to. I’m willing to bet though, that with his current schedule he doesn’t even have the time to attend these. Math is a subject that nearly needs to be studied every night. Unlike many courses where you can refresh your mind on the information one or two nights before if you have been keeping up with he work, math is not that kind of subject. Once you fall behind in a class like that it can seem impossible to get back in the game. Honestly, his grades, rest, and emotional stability are worth more than watching some sports. I could imagine he is experiencing a lot of stress and fear knowing he is doing bad academically along with the ROTC and job commitment. He is going to have pick what he wants to stay in and what he wants to let go. Only he can make that decision. Just give him guidance. But again, he must realize he can’t do it all.</p>
<p>Also another important point. Tell him to figure out how the professor teaches. By that I mean tell him to ask whether the Prof want him to focus on the book, his lectures, the prof’s own notes or what. In some cases, the professor will lecture and talk about things that are not important to what will be on the test. Many professors will take their information directly from the book. Others might make up their tests solely based on their lecture content. Others might make it a combination of both. I had a geology professor who used what came out of his mouth in lectures, the book, and his own notes to make the test. He made it pretty difficult to figure out exactly what he wanted you to know, and in some cases their was no way of knowing. You have to learn how your professor teaches, that is half the battle, the other half is actually studying and learning the information. All the best to your son, I wish him well.</p>
<p>">>> he’s a sport nut so he has been attending all the games when available on the weekends…
he’s always been ambitious in regards to his academics and absolutely LOVES the ROTC
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<p>He may love ROTC and the college’s sports teams, but not love the academic side of college. My older S flunked out of college because he devoted his time to an EC related to his major, and to attending sport games and partying in connection with those games. Despite being smart and in college on an honors scholarship, he wasn’t interested in academics. Some students – particularly males – don’t seem to understand that the point of being in college is the academics.</p>
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<p>There are a lot of distractions in college for many - especially males… staying up late…sleeping in…the partying…the girls…the casual sex…the sports…(no adult supervision LOL). No wonder some kids get their priorities messed up.</p>