<p>Mondut, he is very interested in pledging a fraternity. That may be more a matter of money than anything else - from what I understand, they are expensive. I am very worried about all the partying and awful stories that I hear about fraternities, but I understand that I won’t be there to “help” him with those decisions. I also know the good that Greek organizations do. Oh my goodness, I just don’t remember having this much difficulty when my DD (now 26) was at this point in her life! LOL! </p>
<p>“In fact what we know is that he’s a smart kid (evidenced by a 31 ACT), at a “lame” school (mom’s term), and he’s recently acted out a bit by skipping class or failing to turn in assignments. He might really flourish at the right fraternity.”</p>
<p>That is all true. He’s never even had a discipline referral at school. To be fair, he gets by with a lot based on his witty, charming personality (I’ll admit, even with me!). We did have a “sneaking a beer out of the fridge” incident last summer, but that’s been about it - other than the recent issues with skipping. And also, to be fair, he only skipped the classes he’s already doing well in - he didn’t skip his calculus class - I think he was too afraid to do that! :)</p>
<p>@Mondut, the reason I would be inclined to say “no rush this term” is that I’m afraid that the rigors of pledge term would derail him before he has had a chance to get back on his feet. I’m not opposed to his rushing ever. </p>
<p>On the other hand, it may be that at a school like U GA not pledging would be significantly detrimental to his self-image, an area where he has apparently been vulnerable. It is indeed possible that if a house had enforced study sessions and peer pressure towards getting a good GPA, it might actually help him.</p>
<p>It is hard to say.</p>
<p>I can’t imagine that a 90 minute commute would help with time management. </p>
<p>@saintfan, the OP explained above that there is a requirement that all freshmen live on campus. So that’s off the table. :)</p>
<p>I doubt going to a local college is going to give him more motivation, but it is certainly a way to receive some needed credits.</p>
<p>Unless they have specific program which guarantees transfer it is likely he will loose part of semester by attending a local college. </p>
<p>The computer science(or any engineering or math) isn’t something you can exactly transfer into without taking classes that aren’t commonly offered at local colleges.</p>
<p>Here’s a link to the freshman college experience. My child is a junior now but says she wishes she had enrolled. Applications open in early May.</p>
<p><a href=“http://www.freshmancollege.uga.edu/”>404 - Not Found; </p>
<p>The fraternity decision is tough. Does he have friends or acquaintances already in the Greek system? One reason that Greek’s grades are higher is because they benefit from advice and help (like test files) from the older brothers. On the negative side, party culture is intense and pledges spend a lot of time doing mandatory activities.</p>
<p>In regards to the counseling aspect, if he does go away to college see if his therapist would be still willing to work with him (i.e. through Skype, phone call, text) while he’s away since it is working for him. It’s hard to find a good therapist that you feel comfortable with and seeing a new therapist at school might impact his progress.</p>
<p>If he joins greek life, he will have to maintain a certain gpa or else he will become ineligible to participate in Greek activities. UGA has a competitive greek system and if he did not rush as a freshman he may have a harder time getting a bid later on as a sophomore. </p>
<p>I’d agree with UGA provided he does not pledge first semester and maintains a 2.8 (first semester) and 3.0 overall first year. If that’s done he can join a fraternity (pledging takes at least 2 hours/day so his study habits need to be established beforehand) and if it’s not, he has to go home and enroll in a local school due to losing his Hope scholarship, not a threat but just the logical consequence.</p>
<p>@knightdawg - I would be concerned about how his grades are going this semester. If he gets D in AP calc and doesn’t do well in another core class will he still have the G.P.A to qualify for HOPE? I’m sure you know this but just in case his hope gpa isn’t his transcript gpa. They only count certain subjects. I would think a D could mess it up. I’m not sure what work based learning or office aid is. But they only count math,science,social studies,english and language classes for the hope calculation.</p>
<p>Knightdawg I probably should have put some context on my comment about smart kid in lame school - but to explain, it did occur to me that perhaps part of the reason for your son’s behavior is that he knows he’s in a lame school and so he’s slacking a bit. Or maybe it’s not cool to be smart . . . so he’s just trying to fit in more? </p>
<p>Anyway that’s also partly why I’m thinking a fraternity might help him step it up. He sounds like he has a lot of potential and I believe you are looking to find ways to help him fulfill it. </p>
<p>Mondut, your comments have been very helpful - and I knew what you meant by the smart kid/lame school. He DOES know he’s in a lame school and has said that he knows that when his scholarship is on the line, he’ll do what needs to be done. He’s also tired of being under the thumb of dad/stepmom. All of you have been so helpful in sharing your advice and experience. You all are spot on! I told him tonight that I believe in him and will support his goals 100% as long as he keeps his end of the deal. We will go talk to his dad and stepmom tomorrow about what they are willing to commit to. I will come back to this thread to keep everyone posted - I almost feel like we are all in this together! 
Thanks again to everyone!</p>
<p>Yes do keep us posted! Hoping for the best with your meeting tomorrow- 
</p>
<p>3togo, THANK YOU so much! You phrased it wonderfully! I have to tell you, I feel so much better after reading and re-reading everyone’s posts. In my heart of hearts, I SO want him to go to UGA - he is so excited about it. He is the ONLY male student from his high school who was even accepted to UGA. And I believe and have confidence that he will be successful. I fell victim to the doubting Thomas’s known as his father and step-mother. We will set guidelines and parameters before he goes, but he will go to UGA. GO DAWGS and GO College Confidential PARENTS - WE ROCK!!!</p>
<p>Do keep us updated :)</p>
<p>Seems like a typical and well-above-average senior boy. (I have a similar slacking/smart but poor study habits senior son. . .doing fine in all subjects but AP Calc BC, but with a higher overall gpa). I’m a little sympathetic to the senioritis. The end is in sight, fun activities going on, etc. I think you can send your son off with fingers crossed and a “kick-in-the-rear” reminder that college will be harder, and grades will matter to keep scholarships–so he needs to keep up, do his best, and stop procrastinating. (This is my third son, others are out of college and college junior now–both had different immaturity issues, but managed/managing fine in college.)</p>
<p>Knightdawg, I could also have been your son, except that I’m an Asian female. I had good grades (slightly higher than your son but not 4.0) and probably similar test scores. My parents wanted me to live at home and commute but I convinced them to let me live on campus. In hindsight, they were worried about my maturity level and how I would perform. I’m glad you decided to support your son fully and put your faith in him. There’s something about starting on a new adventure and having your parents behind you. </p>
<p>That said, be prepared for some bumps on the road. Chances are he will flounder but as long as he know how to recover (e.g., seek tutoring, study groups, go to office hours), he’ll do fine. </p>
<p>I can understand that the OP doesn’t want to spend tens of thousands of dollars for her son to go on academic probation the first semester.</p>
<p>Some thoughts are:
- You want him to go to UGA, but he needs to prove he has the motivation and capability for college by bringing up his Calculus grade. Tell him that you want to see him talking to the teacher and getting a tutor or study group.
- Make him have some “skin in the game”. Most every college will offer a $5500 loan to the student. Have him take it out, and if he doesn’t get a 3.0 average then he is reponsible for paying it.
- Remove “distractions”…so if he is going out too much, you may need to take away car priviliges/gaming priviliges/phone/whatever is needed. </p>
<p>Tell him that you want to support his goals (going to college and learning about computer science) but there are steps he needs to take now for you to want to fund that.</p>
<p>Sounds like my son. SEND HIM. This is clearly a bright kid with senioritis and perhaps a fear of his own abilities and where they will take him. How much he should/can achieve is a factor too. My DS had great grades but some clear missteps as a senior in HS - sent him off with great apprehension. He graduated Magna from our state U - went to his first choice grad school fully funded. Boys can take longer to mature and senior year is one of those points. </p>