<p>I’m also a college sophomore, and it looks to me that your son is just one of those people who doesn’t count playing sports with, doing things with, or hanging around with certain people his friends. Friend is probably a word reserved for those whom he has an actual relationship with – one wherein he self discloses important details and the other party reciprocates (and this is very important/a very close bond for men because they aren’t allowed to express themselves in a public forum as easily).
If his campus is Greek, then that’s also probably a big part of why he feels like he’s not getting much out of his social life. As a member of a very active Panhellenic sorority on campus, my social calendar is booked solid, and many times, those in Greek life aren’t shy to let others know about it. I pay dues for this perk, and I don’t think it’s normal to have a full social calendar should you not be paying for events etc to be organized for your organization.
That being said, it sounds like your answer lies between my two thoughts, at least.
Good luck and take care!</p>
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<p>For what it’s worth, that’s the way it was (and still is) for me. I always had people that I spent time with but I didn’t consider them to be the same as the friends with whom I was actually close. </p>
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<p>That’s a really good idea. The issue might not be so much with the sheer number of friends but the quality / intimacy of the ones he has.</p>
<p>I had really close friends in high school and never made the same kinds of friends in college or grad school. I felt lonely lots of the time even though I went to parties, joined activities etc. Sophomore year was the worst because I had a dumb roommate situation. (My fault mostly.)</p>
<p>When I think about my college friends they were in my major and we became close in sophomore year- shared experiences (mainly women/chemistry majors) and the time of our freshman year to get to know each other. Being on a very Greek campus and not being part of it is one problem- he is an outsider to much of the social life. Having close contacts freshman year who drop out of a major force in his life is another. Hopefully he will have contacts through his science courses- likeminded people. I was the outlier extrovert among my equally smart and science minded college friends- we didn’t do some things I would have wanted to do. Negligible Greek presence on my campus. My son still doesn’t say anything about college friends but we know he has been busy going out with them sometimes when we have called- he never complained, however.</p>
<p>You may want to point out to him that he does have aquaintances he does things with and that friendships take time. Large U’s usually have enough likeminded people to hang out with- it doesn’t matter what the majority does. Time needed. Ask him in a few months. His boredom may be due to the absence of last year’s “friends” and not enough time passing yet to meet new ones to replace them.</p>