<p>NC Dad - I will keep your son in my prayers over the next ten days. </p>
<p>Do you get to meet with him or visit him at all during that time? Or does his lawyer, counselor or pastor? Someone who cares about him who can keep tabs on him?</p>
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<p>It happens all the time, just not to kids in what most on this forum consider to be “our community.” <a href=“http://www.nytimes.com/roomfordebate/2013/05/22/how-can-marijuana-be-sold-safely/in-legalizing-marijuana-end-the-racial-bias[/url]”>http://www.nytimes.com/roomfordebate/2013/05/22/how-can-marijuana-be-sold-safely/in-legalizing-marijuana-end-the-racial-bias</a> Tragically, for many kids it’s more than a ten day “scared straight” detour. I hope that those concerned about NCDad’s son can find room in their hearts to be concerned about all of the young people whose behavior we excessively criminalize.</p>
<p>NC Dad - I am sorry to hear about the judge’s decision. You did all you had to do as a dad. Best wishes!</p>
<p>Thanks for letting us know. What a mixed bag. Really glad for everyone’s sake he didn’t get the 30 days. Lord, let these 10 days go by very quickly and as uneventfully as possible.</p>
<p>Really sorry about the jail time, when it is a short sentence do they serve it all?
I hope your son can be strong and come through unscathed.
Do take care of yourself too, I imagine its 10 sleepless nights ahead for you.</p>
<p>Oh so sorry NCdad. Hang in there…</p>
<p>I am so sorry. This breaks my heart. I pray these next 10 days pass quickly for you and your wife.</p>
<p>So sorry about the jail time. We’ve been in a somewhat similar situation before. It is heartbreaking. </p>
<p>You have done all that you can do for your S. He knows you love him and will stand by him always. Praying that the ten days pass quickly and he will be returned to your home and get on with his life.</p>
<p>Man, that was adjudicated quickly - or did he get a deferred adjudication upon successful completion of a probation? If the latter, can he get this charge expunged at some point? I work with a young fellow who got a DUI in college and he was able to get it expunged and therefore was able to get the really great job he has now.</p>
<p>Sorry about the scary jail time - maybe your county jail is much less creepy than you think.</p>
<p>Sorry to hear about his being sent to adult jail. Does he get time off for good behavior like some of those Hollywood types, maybe he could be home in 4-6 days instead. Can’t help thinking at least he won’t mess any school, I actually think if he stays involved with promoting anti-teen drinking that this could be turned into a positive life experience. I believe your son may actually end up being stronger and an actual teen others can look up to. We all make mistakes but how we go on shows true character. Good luck and keep us posted.</p>
<p>Dear NorthCarolina Dad,</p>
<p>I have been following along from your first post. I had been praying for no jail time. I am so sorry that he has to spend anytime in jail. 9 more days and counting. I will pray for you and your family. Most of all the safety of your son. </p>
<p>God Bless.</p>
<p>So sorry they couldn’t plea out the jail time. Many states treat 17 year olds as adults, like my state and I’m not sure I feel that is “right.” Hopefully it will only be a couple days and he will be out on good behavior or work detail. This too will pass and he has grown up real fast. Hugs to your family.</p>
<p>NCDad, I hope the time goes by quickly and without incident. I hope that your family can put this behind you and heal soon.</p>
<p>This puts a face on a “horrible example” for the other kids in his HS as to the consequences of drinking and driving. Maybe some good will come out of this. I have been to assemblies for youth where the speakers have spoken of the consequences of drinking and driving. Unfortunately, more than one of those speakers was in a wheel chair for life as a result. A few words from someone who has had serious consequences can make a difference to someone.</p>
<p>This doesn’t take sides; I just want to add a dimension. I realize this may be a post that aggravates some. Apologies, if it does.</p>
<p>There has been a lot of empathy here and much discussion of the laws, their intricacies, what’s fair and feelings about them. I went over the entire thread and may have missed what the son and parents are doing proactively to ensure he moves forward successfully, through the next years and decades. That he makes what turn out to be the right decisions/choices and has an understanding of his responsibilities to himself and others. Now and in the future.</p>
<p>It is one thing to say, he is remorseful, he gets it. For his future, my concern would be: is “scared straight” going to do the trick? Frankly, DH had a bad car accident at 17 (no alcohol, poor road conditions, other party injured.) By the time I met him- and over the years, that one incident impacted all his decisions about driving, his awareness of the potential problems. So, in DH’s example, it worked. (And, bear in mind, this is a look back. My concern would be the look forward.) </p>
<p>I am not sure reopening the SADD chapter, pondering, a meeting with a counselor, suspension, even the stint in jail is any “assurance” that this is handled, done. Was there some ongoing counseling? Will there be? The benefit to ongoing counseling is the learning time about decision making and control. </p>
<p>I noticed that a few posters who mentioned knowing kids who did make it to college, are doing just fine- but don’t think they mentioned mention which or the tier.</p>
<p>It’s true that adcoms know kids make mistakes. They also know certain local policies can result in consequences that are stiff, sometimes unfairly so, sometimes without consideration for circumstances. But, at this level (it’s not suspension for breaking a window, under zero tolerance,) they need to see how a kid moved forward, shows not only contrition, but change. Active, challenging change. I’m afraid hs SADD, reading, talking, taking the punishment, losing driving privileges, may come across as reactive, not proactive. </p>
<p>Some will disagree. I work for an elite and this app would be diverted to the senior reps for close inspection of the explanation. Being able to state he completed a counseling program would help. Community commitment would show an active response, more than just in the hs. More than accepting the consequences.</p>
<p>Apologies if this is touchy. It needs to be broached.</p>
<p>Prayers for you NCDad, Mom, and Son.</p>
<p>OP - I am so sorry about the jail time - I hope he stays safe and it passes quickly. Will you be able to visit him? If not, will the lawyer be able to see him and make sure he is doing ok? I hope he is in his own cell and is safe during this period of incarceration. Please let us know how your family is doing and how your son is managing this challenge.</p>
<p>So sorry about the jail time. I know it is scary. Please know we are supporting you and your family. </p>
<p>Geez, lookingforward, give it a rest. Maybe this isn’t the time for your comments!</p>
<p>NCDad,</p>
<p>Just another sympathetic voice. May the next 9 days go by swiftly and without incident.</p>
<p>@lookingforward. How is re-opening a local SADD chapter (I would assume using his recent experience as a spring board to educate peers about the real consequences of drinking and driving) not proactive?</p>
<p>JoBenny, I think it’s a good step, no question, but it’s limited in scope and reach; it’s easy in the sense you are right there in the hs- and, frankly, many hs clubs are as much social as purposeful or impactful. We’re talking about a kid who was possibly headed toward a highly competitive college. Dad says his GC said he’d be possibly competitive for an elite. I am uncomfortable discussing some of this so close to his sentencing, but the elites have fierce competition. Given a choice, “something more” is good.</p>