<p>NCDad, I’m praying for your son’s safety.</p>
<p>I disagree with the sentence and am sorry this happened. Hug to you and NCMom as well. My thoughts are with you.</p>
<p>My best to you, NCDad, your wife, and your son. I hope that you and your wife manage to also see a counselor: seeing your son carted off in handcuffs must have been a horrific experience, and his emotional recovery (when he returns) will also be really, really hard on you.</p>
<p>NCDad, I was hoping for no jail time. I will be praying for his safety. Hugs to all of you.</p>
<p>lookingforward, I’m finding it hard to imagine exactly what you envision.</p>
<p>Thoughts are with you NCDad. County jail is not ideal (no jail is ideal), but it is not prison, and hopefully the other detainees are in for similar crimes (not horrible, violent felonies). Hopefully there will be supervision by the guards. Presumably he is allowed phone calls to you and you can prepare in advance what you might say to help him deal (and hopefully he will be able to share that it is not as horrible as what TV portrays). If he prepared himself mentally, as you say, he will be okay, especially for just 10 days. </p>
<p>I think I did read somewhere in the thread that counseling is in his future… I do think he will be okay in the long run too. He made a terrible mistake at a young age, and his future will be likely bright and incident-free, due in no small part, I would bet, to what he learns from this one incident. Who among us hasn’t done stupid things? I know he will be forever grateful that it turned out like it did, and not far worse (as far as terrible injuries or deaths). He will go to college, lead a fine, successful life, learn and grow from this, and your family will be closer because of it, not in spite of it.</p>
<p>Those who can’t fathom why NCDad is receiving so much support on this thread need to understand, I think, that we realize that no matter how hard we work at parenting, and how good the kids are, it only takes one bad decision by a developing 17-year old brain to turn that dial in a different direction. I can’t be the only one here who did a few incredibly dumb things when I was younger, and only realized much later how lucky I was that worse consequences didn’t result. We see ourselves in NCDad’s situation; there but for the grace of God. NCDad’s son sounds a lot like a lot of our HS kids (and a lot like us when we were kids and times were different). So we are not approving of anything his son did, certainly, we are just putting ourselves in his shoes, and trying not to judge other parents’ choices, reactions, decisions too harshly.</p>
<p>Good luck, NC Dad. (and I too, am curious what happened to the other kids, and also whether ths school has done anything to address the track team/drinking stuff that has been going on).</p>
<p>Hope next 10 days will go by really fast. Very sorry.</p>
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<p>This is very true! I was very lucky that nothing happened when I was out celebrating on my 21st birthday. What was I thinking?!?!? And I was about as “straight arrow” as they come.</p>
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<p>So then DON’T! Do you really think NCDad is worried about “the elites” right now when his kid has been hauled off to jail? Get a grip! I promise you the boy will get a great college education- somewhere- and if it isn’t “an elite”, well, so be it.</p>
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<p>Have to agree with what Mannix said. We all feel for NCDad and family because we can put ourselves in his shoes and especially since my oldest is also a 17year old boy. </p>
<p>Will be thinking and praying for you and your family.</p>
<p>I am truly sorry that your behaved so badly and brought misery to himself and his entire family–but I am not sorry that your state takes drunk driving this seriously and insists on a punishment that will never be forgotten. And I’m rather astonished that so many posters are reacting to a very brief time in county jail–not state prison, so who knows how “hardened” the inmates are likely to be–as if it’s a disaster for the boy. He endangered the community and could easily have killed an entire family. That kind of recklessness and stupidity is treated too lightly in too many places. How many times have we read of fatal accidents where one driver has a string of DUI’s on his record? If your son never again gets behind the wheel after drinking, those ten days will have been worth their weight in gold to his future and the safety of the rest of us.</p>
<p>^^ MommaJ, maybe you are coming from a place of deep, personal anguish (perhaps you have lost someone as a result of a drunk driver, I didn’t reread the entire thread to see), or in any case this resonates with you for a reason beyond what any of us can understand, but we can still empathize with NCDad and his son IN THE MOMENT and at the same time think that drunk drivers should be off the road. We aren’t sympathizing nor are we condoning his son’s actions, we are just putting ourselves in his shoes as parents who love our kids, stupid, illegal behavior and all.</p>
<p>And YES we all agree that repeat drunk drivers are miserable criminals (and are the ones who kill on the road the great majority of the time) and deserve all kinds of punishments. And NO, we don’t think NCDad’s son is being overly-punished by having to go to county jail (and I don’t think NCDad thinks so either) and YES we all agree with you that the whole point is that he likely will NEVER drink and drive again. And that is a GOOD thing.</p>
<p>If you or someone you love has never, ever in your life (especially when you were younger) done anything stupid that might possibly endanger others, or otherwise “behaved so badly” then I commend you, you are a better person than many of us.</p>
<p>My thoughts go out to NCDAD and family. </p>
<p>I think this is a good result all around. I think the state meted out a punishment which is entirely appropriate. I think NCDAD’s son got a wakeup call, and I hope it never happens again. I think NCDAD and family probably have new respect for a criminal justice system that tempers justice with mercy. And I think we are all reminded of the fragility of life, and also the mistakes we make along the way. And no one was injured.</p>
<p>I do have to say that for every kid who had an alcohol-related “event” in high school who is doing well in college, I think I know three who are not doing well. This is not the end of the journey, but just the beginning.</p>
<p>MOWC, it was raised in response to something Dad himself included earlier, questioned, a concern. Done.
And I agree with mini.</p>
<p>I have to agree with both Mannix and, to some extent, MommaJ. It is harsh to send a kid to jail (yes, even county jail). And yes, I remember doing stupid things and getting into cars with drivers that definitely should not have been driving. I also think there are worse crimes when the result is no jail time - and this would likely have not resulted in jail in other areas. To me, that is why this seems harsh. </p>
<p>Hopefully, this will be one of those cases where the 10 days ends up being much shorter. And hope it does not have any long-term impacts and can be expunged or or at least sealed at some point in the future. </p>
<p>OTOH, if such sentences are not handed out, even to the “good” kids, the deterrent effect of the law is greatly reduced. Not only NCdad’s son, but also his friends and classmates, may get the message that there can be serious consequences to driving even a few blocks when intoxicated. And that anyone can be the unlucky one that gets caught, even in that short of a distance. Which, of course, pales in comparison to the damage drunk driving can do to the driver and others, but unfortunately teens (and some adults) do not always think of the consequences. </p>
<p>Hugs to all.</p>
<p>One of my BIL’s had a DUI when he was in college a million years ago. It was eye opening, expensive and a diterient for all those involved. He learned a lot from that experience and has become a pillar of society. </p>
<p>My H recently had a car accident which was deeply moving to him. Accidents happen and we all have things we regret. I will not cast the first stone and by the grace of god nothing happened with my own children but they certainly do stupid things. </p>
<p>So sorry that your S had to make such a mistake. I wish you peace through this. I am sure it is an expensive life lesson.</p>
<p>agree, mini, mom2 & Deb. I think really most of us are on the same page.</p>
<p>@Mannix re #646:</p>
<p>"… it only takes one bad decision by a developing 17-year old brain to turn that dial in a different direction. I can’t be the only one here who did a few incredibly dumb things when I was younger, and only realized much later how lucky I was that worse consequences didn’t result. We see ourselves in NCDad’s situation; there but for the grace of God."</p>
<p>–Applause–</p>
<p>^ditto</p>
<p>I probably took more risks and demonstrated worse judgment as a teen than my own kids. </p>
<p>I would add that I believe NCDad and wife seem to be open to what else their son may need going forward, as they have demonstrated an intelligent, and thoughtful approach thus far, so I would imagine that would continue. In my opinion this young man is likely to learn from this and move forward.</p>
<p>I will be sharing your son’s story with my kids so they can learn how easily a bad decision can impact one’s life.</p>
<p>Thank you Mannix for expressing what I and others are probably feeling. I have zero tolerance for drinking and driving, and while I think NC laws appear good, I will never think a 17yr old should be housed with adults even in county jail. NCDad’s son made some stupid choices but now I can’t help but pray for his safety in the next 9 days. I will continue to believe that this young man can now turn this event into positive if he chooses to. Good luck to you and your family NCDad.</p>