<p>For any parents who have a kid going to prom or similar activities, please get your kid and his/ her friends a limo if at all possible. As far as sneaking alcohol into events, I’ve heard of girls sneaking mini bottles of alcohol ( the kind you get on airplanes) by taping them to their thighs. Can’t see them, especially under a long dress.</p>
<p>Hiding liquor in the washer/dryer? I didn’t think my DD could even find a washer.</p>
<p>" The reason you are getting pessimistic answers from lawyers is that there is no “winning” a case with that high of a BAC. There are some things a lawyer can do to help reduce the punishment - so it is well worth having a good lawyer - but the lawyer can’t work miracles."</p>
<p>This lawyer is pretty pessimistic too.</p>
<p>I concur with advice above to forget all about college right now and focus on his health, his discipline, and his legal problems. Reasonable people can disagree widely as to appropriate consequences for this sort of mistake, but regardless of whether the state takes his license, he shouldn’t be trusted with a car until he’s 18 and out of high school (at which point the question can be revisited). He has abused the driving privilege in the worst possible way. It’s over.</p>
<p>“He’s near the top of his class at a large high school and most weekends he’s home studying or at a track meet–not the kind of kid who’s out experimenting with alcohol or drugs.”</p>
<p>How I wish we could put this myth to rest. Parents want to believe it so badly, we can’t seem to kill it. It was alive and well when I was a teenager, too.</p>
<p>While you are having “the talk,” try to work in the virtue of wearing a condom, and having sex while drunk is not smart.</p>
<p>We all hope we know what our kids are doing, and none of us know what our kids are doing.</p>
<p>I wanted to say that I’m impressed with the way you are handling this NCDad. You are a good parent.</p>
<p>I’m so glad nobody was physically injured.</p>
<p>Agree with oldfort, although one of the few advantages of a male teenager having a .16 BAC is that he is unlikely to be able to consummate his plans.</p>
<p>Regarding dragging out the court adjudication: </p>
<p>my husband was walking along the side of the road when he was hit by a (probably drunk) driver who had a DWI pending in a neighboring town. Since it was a hit-and-run, there’s no knowing if the driver was actually drunk, although he has essentially confessed to being drunk at the time, he was not picked up for a week, so he was not charged with DWI. He was charged with enough other things however. </p>
<p>The drunk driving charge is from October 2010. The hit and run was in March 2011. The guy will be (according to our attorney) sentenced this week – May 2013. </p>
<p>My husband has permanent injuries – but is essentially OK.</p>
<p>I don’t think we ever know for sure what our kids are doing. I just always hope my kids would trust me enough to come to me if they are ever in deep s*.</p>
<p>Re: Hanna, post #103–Thanks for your answer and I agree with most everything you said. I think you misunderstood me a little–I wasn’t naive enough to assume that just because a kid does well in school and is active in sports that he isn’t getting into trouble. I just meant that my son doesn’t go out as often as other kids and put himself into the situations where kids are drinking every weekend. More often than not, he’s home with us while others are getting in trouble, so this came as a surprise.</p>
<p>Your son and his girlfriend dodged a few bullets. Luckily they were stopped before they had a chance to have sex. oldfort is right about condoms…would he have been too drunk to use one (correctly)? You could have been looking at a positive pregnancy test in the near future. Not to mention possible rape or statutory rape charges.</p>
<p>NCD, thank you, and I’m sorry if my post came across as an accusation of naivete. I was speaking about parents in general. It sounds like you’re dealing with a very tough situation as well as any parent could.</p>
<p>NCDad, thanks for posting this and spurring an important conversation.</p>
<p>Our hs prom is held about 20 miles away. For junior year, we did dropoff/pickup for 5 kids (in a group of non-dating friends). For senior year, DS came to us sheepishly because the hired bus was gonna be $35… I quickly said, “who do I make the check out to?”</p>
<p>It is hard when something unexpected happens to our kids, but be glad that no one was injured and that eventually all the legal issues will be resolved. DUI is not just an infraction; it is about the potential pain and suffering it might cause all those involved. Hug your son and tell him that he and all your family have been spared the pain of loosing a son or killing someone and for that you should feel blessed.</p>
<p>OP - I’m sorry you are in the situation. When I was in high school(many years ago) I lost a couple of my classmates because they went out drinking and the driver lost control of the car. I also had a couple of friends who got pregnant in high school. These are 2 of my biggest fears as a mom. That one of my sons will end up getting drunk behind the wheel and dying or end up becoming a father way too soon. </p>
<p>As parents we really don’t know what our kids are doing when they aren’t with us. I can hope my sons will remember what I have told them but again all I can do is hope. I know it seems that it’s awful that this happened . But in a way it’s probably a good thing. Your son now knows that he shouldn’t drink and drive and he didn’t get hurt. Also hopefully he will hold off on the sex until he is older. Because a high school pregnancy could also derail college plans.</p>
<p>I hope things work out for your son.</p>
<p>I’m very upset reading all these posts of “oh he might be an alcoholic”. BS!! I highly doubt that! He’s just trying to fit in and be cool in front of his girl. Probably his first time drinking. And, he probably had no idea how drunk he was. Think about it. Morbid alcoholics don’t drive drunk, people who this they’re fine after a couple beers or shots drive drunk. </p>
<p>I can assure you, he will never do that again from his own conscience. He may not even drink ever again. </p>
<p>It’s water under that bridge now. Nothing you can do. Sympathize with him, but remind him of why you’re upset. Not because he drove drunk, but because he put himself in that situation. He drank when he shouldn’t have, he submitted to peer pressure, and he didn’t call you and ask for a way home or wait it out. Remind him that no matter what, you’re not going to hurt him or ruin his life. He was probably so scared of how you would yell that he didn’t want to call. </p>
<p>Either way, I am very sorry, and I hope it turns out well. In a couple months you’ll forget it even happened. He is taking it harder than you, trust me.</p>
<p>“Morbid alcoholics don’t drive drunk”</p>
<p>They certainly do. Most DUI arrests are repeat offenders.</p>
<p>I fervently hope that at the age of 17, you haven’t interacted with many alcoholics or seen friends and family members struggle with recovery. Negative consequences do NOT knock sense into folks sliding into addiction. In fact, that’s part of the definition of addiction. There’s a lot of it out there, and it’s not pretty, and parents are right to be very concerned about a red flag that it may happen to their kids. No parent ever forgets about a child’s brush with death.</p>
<p>A couple of years ago, a middle school in our community discovered that kids were drinking water bottles (filled with vodka) during first period PE class.</p>
<p>
I could be mistaken, but I believe that NC has a mandatory 1-year license suspension for a minor caught driving with any measurable blood alcohol, much less a 1.6. It’s a zero-tolerance law. So I think that driving may be out of the question for a year whether the parents would impose that punishment or not.</p>
<p>You are correct. There’s an automatic 60-day suspension upon arrest and then 1 year if he’s convicted. Theoretically he could drive again starting in mid-July if he hasn’t been convicted at that time but we certainly won’t be allowing that.</p>
<p>Complik, thank you for your post. I think it’s a little more serious than you’re letting on but people who think he’s an alcoholic are overreacting. Alcohol dependency/addiction certainly wasn’t the problem here–a series of bad decisions involving binge drinking was. We’re taking him to a counselor tomorrow to do a full eval regardless.</p>