<p>Just deal with it. DS can get a new roomate for sophomore year. He can hang out with his other friends and be happy that he don’t have a loud, difficult roomate who never studies.</p>
<p>re: post # 20:
Correct- Asperger’s is not a dirty word- it is a mental health diagnosis.To explain, if you misunderstood, the term “pathologizing” refers to
Some posters seemed to be making the implication that there is something physiologically, behaviorally or emotionally wrong with the roommate that warrants a diagnosis (hence “pathologizing” the behavior or the person). Just saying there is insufficient information to support that. As others have said, maybe the roommate is having difficulty adjusting to school. Maybe he’s homesick. Maybe he’s shy. But to claim Aspergers, which has a constellation of behavioral components to warrant the diagnosis, is premature and unsupported by what was written by the OP. It is not within the spectrum if “normal” behavior- it is on another spectrum, and is considered a “disorder”. But what the roommate may be going through may quite possibly be an adjustment to college, which could be quite normal.</p>
<p>Neither of my kids had roommates they cared for freshman year. D’s seemed fine in her emails, but the reality was not so great. S’s was just a mismatch from the start. Both were disappointed at first but found friends in the dorm they liked. I told them they were lucky they didn’t have roommates who used illegal drugs in the room, stalked their every move, smelled bad, or had sex in the room. The fact that they didn’t get along well enough to be friends was not so bad considering the other problems they could have had.</p>
<p>D roomed with a friend the next three years, and she really appreciated it. S is at home for school this year … I think he would probably prefer a roommate who doesn’t talk to him to his … gasp … parents.</p>
<p>Gator4ever…I happen to notice that in another post you mentioned that YOUR son has Aspergers/Autism. Was this even mentioned prior to the boys deciding to room together, or was it even mentioned to the boys parents?? A friend of mine had a daughter who roomed with a girl that had Aspergers Syndrome and was never made aware of it. There were many issues that could have been resolved if this was all discussed beforehand with the roommate and/or his parents. Maybe you should speak to the roommate’s parents? Or discuss this with the RA who should be made aware of this.</p>
<p>That’s because it was none of your friends business. No one is obligated to disclose highly personal medical information unless they want to.</p>
<p>My theory is that they had so much in common online because they both have Asperger’s…probably similar interests, but different personalities. (If you’ve seen one Aspie, you’ve seen one Aspie.) But my guess is that the roommate is a kid who really should have had a single, and either couldn’t get one, the parents couldn’t pay for it, or the parents thought it would be a good idea for him to have a roommate.</p>
<p>How is the roommate doing in school? My other theory is that his having a roommate is stressing him out big time and that they won’t end the school year together (for myriad reasons.)</p>
<p>Maybe another lesson here is: people aren’t necessarily what they appear to be on facebook. </p>
<p>My son had the opposite experience: on Facebook, his roommate seemed like… well, a bit of a macho redneck. This was worrisome to my urban, liberal non-rah-rah son. Once they moved in, the kid’s Facebook persona turned out to be, at the very least, very limited. While from a tiny town in the middle of nowhere and with a fondness for Chevy trucks, this boy is open minded, friendly and helpful. They’re different, but have become good buddies. Something my son worried wouldn’t happen when he read up about him on facebook.</p>
<p>“(If you’ve seen one Aspie, you’ve seen one Aspie.)”</p>
<p>I am no expert on Asperger’s Syndrome, but from my understanding there is a range of symptoms and varying degrees of a particular symptom. Not everyone with the diagnosis exhibits the same symptoms.</p>
<p>Yes, that’s precisely what the saying means. If you know one person with the diagnosis, you cannot extrapolate from that person’s symptoms and characteristics to others who carry the same diagnosis. It’s the opposite of “If you’ve seen one [whatever], you’ve seen them all.”</p>
<p>Okay. Never heard that expression before. I see now.</p>