<p>No drama to report. DD actually showed up to several summer job interviews Dad helped set up for her. No more money has changed hands and she seems to be taking things seriously. To be continued…</p>
<p>Glad to hear she heard the wake-up call. Surely the skirmishes aren’t over, as it takes time to change one’s behavior, but the best way to factilitate her behavior change is for dad to remain firm and consistent. He should of course be loving and supportive, but he must stay firm with limit-setting and not cave to any of her efforts to manipulate by guilt. They can negotiate how she spends her free time, where she looks for jobs or what have you, but the budget/allowance he sets for her should NOT be negotiable.</p>
<p>hmom5–status??</p>
<p>I’m shocked at how well it’s working! Dad and SO spent the weekend together and he reports all went well. He has stuck to his guns where money/credit cards are concerned. She will be home in a few weeks for the summer and still does not have a job, but things look better than anyone expected.</p>
<p>Yay!!! Thanks for the update, and congrats to Dad for holding firm!</p>
<p>Some how I think the daughter is saving it up for the summer. My vote is it’s not over yet.</p>
<p>In talking at length to Dad tonight, he kind of agrees with you Oldfort. He thinks DD really, really wants her credit card back, thus the too good to be true behavior right now. He’s getting ready for a potentially rocky summer as he will insist she works.</p>
<p>I’m sure as well that it’ll be a rocky summer, but at least she’s taking him seriously. And it may not be as hard as it could be - sometimes, what the kid really thinks, in the subconscious mind (and so will never admit), is “Well, FINALLY! I was wondering when you would reign me in! I was starting to think that you really didn’t care what I did.”</p>
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<p>I suggest $1,000 on a secured credit card - deposit $1,000 with the bank in a savings account, pledge the savings account to the credit card, and receive a credit card with a $1,000 line. It avoids Dad having to co-sign the credit card.</p>
<p>Make it clear that Daughter is responsible for paying the credit card bills.</p>
<p>If she is irresponsible, then Dad only lost $1,000.</p>
<p>She still has to live on a budget, and a CC is only a way to spend within the budget, not to expand the budget.</p>
<p>Oh, I don’t think it’s over yet, either; I suspect there will be boundary testing aplenty in the months (maybe years) ahead, but it certainly sounds like progress is being made!</p>
<p>so its been a month; what has happened?</p>
<p>you know… I was just remembering this situation last night and was wondering how father and daughter are getting along.</p>
<p>im glad that worked out well, but unfortunately, things could have gone worse.</p>
<p>im sure there are some people who, if daddy stops indulging their every financial whim, will seek another, perhaps more dangerous or exploitive, source (e.g. wealthy but unhealthy relationships, stealing, drug $$$, etc).</p>