<p>my school is in upstate New York in a pretty affluent upper middle class suburb. i would say that over 70% of the school has tried weed atleast once and that over 50% are regular users. the numbers are even higher for alcohol with very few kids choosing to abstain from everything. I'm a pretty high achieving kid in 3 ap's for my senior year (my school doesn't offer a lot of them) and i notice that many of the kids in these classes party as well although with more exceptions. i enjoy smoking pot on occasion, drinking on the weekends and such. another big thing in my area is alternate ways of smoking tobacco besides cigarettes. Cigars are huge and hookahs are becoming more popular. im a big fan of pipes and cigars and im wondering if my school is anything like any of yours. i've noticed alot of people looking down their noses on people who choose to participate in these things but as long as you're not abusing i dont see an issue.</p>
<p>I'd like to ask this in this forum. I have two kids, one very motivated and straight-laced. </p>
<p>My younger child (15) has struggled with depression, attempted suicide, used to get poor grades. There has been improvement with therapy in the past and an antidepressant. Currently, she says she is happy. For the past few months she's had a steady but "undesirable" group of friends. They are uninterested in school and have no college plans. Their parents apparently don't monitor where they are, what they're doing, who they're with. So in comparison, I'm overprotective. My child says she wishes I would back off and leave her alone. I don't really believe she wants an uninterested parent, but she says it would make things much easier. </p>
<p>I discovered she's smoking cigarettes. She denies it, but she reeks at times. I decided that's not so bad, I can look the other way on that one. More recently, I'm fairly certain she and her friends are also smoking pot, drinking and possibly has taken Ectasy. I'm not convinced that pot and alcohol usually lead to bigger and badder substances, but I'm just not sure that she's old enough or smart enough to handle herself. </p>
<p>So at this time, she's dabbling in these substances and her friends are "losers". At the same time, she claims she's happy, seems overall happy, is not depressed, is not suicidal, is attending school everyday and making very good grades. At times I'm tempted to just look the other way and hope this too shall pass and she won't get hurt or do something more stupid.</p>
<p>I'm looking for high school or college student opinions. If you were her parent, what would you do?</p>
<p>Tiredparent, if your daughter was a regular old teen without that history of emotional issues (not trying to be judgemental or derogatory here--sorry if it comes off that way) then I would tell you to look the other way. I know many, many successful, happy, well-adjusted, Ivy-league-headed high school students who dabble in illegal substances. It's not the greatest thing they could be doing and I certainly don't consider it "OK" but as a parent I would look the other way if I had a child like that who smoked pot/cigarettes and/or drank. But given your child's history...I don't think this is a case where it's adviseable to look away. I think your kid needs a lot more guidance to keep her on track. I think you sound really sensible and grounded--not paranoid or irrational like some parents. So I think if you talked to your daughter and told her exactly what you just typed here, she would be able to identify, and you could reach a sensible compromise. Applaud her for her progress and achievements (emotional stability, academic success, etc.) and tell her that, while you trust her and wish you could just look the other way, you worry about her, and as a parent you therefore must set boundaries. Your concerns are not invalid or irrational, and as a parent, you're expected to set boundaries--so you're not doing anything presumptuous or excessive by refusing to "look the other way." You sound like a really understanding parent--I think you could really make these boundaries successful by coupling them with an emphasis on safety, rather than "discipline and power" issues.</p>
<p>Since your daughter has a different history than a lot of teens, maybe you should try to learn why she is engaging in these behaviors. Most teens do it out of boredom--illegal substances are something to do. Find out why your teen is turning to these things. Is it just boredom? If so, it's not a big deal. Talk to your daughter and make sure she doesn't make them too big of a priority in her life. Drugs have a tendency to swallow up users' consciousness, becoming more than just "something to do with your time." That's the main danger of recreational drugs, etc. but thankfully it's easily fixed with the introduction of other, more productive extracurricular activities.</p>
<p>If it's not boredom (and it very well may be something else, like emotional distress or a desire for escape/rebellion) then the underlying issues need to be addressed first and foremost. Using drugs as an expression of emotional issues or as a coping mechanism is a terrible symptom that can really escalate into a problem of its own, as you already know.</p>
<p>Okay, I'm not exactly the "normal" teenager, but I have dealt with the same things your 15 year old has (some right now), and I never thought of using any drugs whatsoever. People have offered me drugs multiple times, but I've never seen any temptation.</p>
<p>DO NOT let it slide. When kids are depressed, it's generally because they believe their parents don't care about them, particularly if it is ongoing. Drugs are dangerous... you CAN NOT say that pot, alcohol, and cigarettes are fine. They aren't fine. They're very dangerous to your daughter's physical and mental health.</p>
<p>Teenagers try to push the limits, so clearly set the limits. But don't just arbitrarily say "don't do this, this, or this."</p>
<p>Here's what I would do:</p>
<p>Sit down and talk to them. If they don't want to talk, ask them later, if they keep not wanting to talk (for two or three days), eventually just make them talk. Ask them why they're doing drugs, etc. If they deny they're doing drugs, just say you're not going to punish them if they admit it, otherwise, you'd have already punished them. Just let her know you want to know why she's doing drugs. Chances are, she'll say you don't even care, or something like that. Just find some way to have her know for a fact that you care about her.</p>
<p>After she realizes you care about her (however long that takes) try and get her to stop doing drugs by getting her to think about her future or the effects of the drugs: losing control, bad for health, etc. But make sure you use logic. I think that's what teenagers (particularly smart ones) respond to most. NEVER use the words "because I said so." That is the worst thing you can possibly do. If you are logical in stating the negativity of drugs, chances are she'll respond, however small the response may be.</p>
<p>As MallomarCookie said, it could be boredom. I know plenty of people who do drugs, and they are all extremely smart (unfortunately, not smart enough to realize how bad they are). They're all bored with school/life... They try to see if they can take a test while high (they claim to do better), they try driving while high (they think it's very fun), and they talk to everyone they can about doing drugs.</p>
<p>The main thing is finding out why. Once that's done with, the rest is quite a bit easier.</p>
<p>TiredParent, I don't know how helpful this will be...
If I was in her shoes, I'd want my relationship with my parent to be more like a friend than a disciplinarian...if, for example, I'm smoking weed, I'm obviously MUCH more likely to tell a friend if I've gotten myself into a situation I now can't handle (for example, I don't want to get in a car with someone who's driving stoned). I think it's really important to establish a relationship where she understands that her safety & wellbeing comes way ahead of getting in trouble for using a substance. If you do that, it's going to be MUCH easier for her to approach you if something major has come up.
Talk to her, especially about your concerns for what is legitimately dangerous/consequences you're worried about (getting into harder substances, it affecting other areas of her life, depression)... If she seems to get the seriousness of that, and you can establish the beginnings of a relationship where she feels safe to tell you about something serious.</p>
<p>"the really high-strung kids snorted adderall"
lolz
gimme some of that ;)</p>
<p>pugfug, don't. It's addictive, leaves your mind permanently changed, and generaly ****s you up in a bad way. Poor man's coke indeed.</p>
<p>look at our society....>:</p>
<p>hey man, we learn from each other's mistakes.</p>
<p>Well, I'm just quitting smoking pot and all that drinking stuff. I feel like an idiot to be drawn into something so petty. Now I want to focus more on academics, but it's going to be like hell for me. OGT(Ohio Graduation Test) is this coming week as well.</p>
<p>But.. but. it makes you smarter?!</p>
<p>I go to the #1 school in the WNY and #4 in the nation according to Newsweek, and there are quite a few marijuana users.
And even more people who have used it but are not regular users.
But that's ok, I am strongly opposed to drugs and just because some others use it does not mean I should.</p>
<p>i'm in the top 5% of my class, and i've dropped acid a couple times. the experiences have changed my life...it's made me a wiser and more mature person.</p>
<p>I went to a rich private high school, so there was tons of money for drugs if people wanted them, and a large network of people for getting the drugs.</p>
<p>That said, mostly people just drank tons of alcohol, and there was some pot too. Ironically, tobacco was used far less than the other two - most people were so aware of its addictive properties that they didn't bother.</p>
<p>There wasn't a lot of abuse of the harder drugs. A few people started doing coke towards the end of senior year, but other than that not much. For our year, one guy flamed out of school after having a bad trip on shrooms and being unable to go to school any more. That kind of turned a lot of people off the harder stuff.</p>
<p>As for drugs in general, I'd like to point a couple of things out:</p>
<p>Register to read. For a summary of what's said there (in visual form):</p>
<p>Basically, it's a plot of dependence vs. physical harm for a number of drugs. One of the things that may surprise some people is that alcohol and tobacco are ranked as far more harmful in that plot than things like LSD or E.</p>
<p>My personal philosophy on drugs is this: I drink socially, often too much. I smoke pot occasionally. Other than that, almost nothing. My general rule is this: I'll try anything once, assuming it's a drug without the potential for acute harmful health effects (so I'm not gonna be shooting up a huge amount of heroin with some hobo's needle). Drugs with high dependence factors (heroin, cocaine, methadone, nicotine), I avoid like the plague (with the exception of the occasional cigar). On the upside, I apparently don't have that addictive a personality (85% of people who smoke more than 2 full cigarettes end up being addicted to nicotine - I've smoked more, and am still fine).</p>
<p>i hate pot i would never do it and i've never done it but mary jane is acutally healthier than alchool.. it actually does you good... it only bc illegal through rumors and propaganda... look it up if you don't believe me... none have died so far using pot or overdosing but alchool more than 100000</p>
<p>I'm a socially isolated Asian male nerd.</p>
<p>I know a number of people who do pot. They've invited me to try it out as well but I freaked out and didn't go.</p>
<p>I'd like to try it sometime, but I'm too shy to ask anyone now. </p>
<p>The only drugs I tried are caffeine and modafinil. =/ I also tried a couple of antidepressants but discontinued them. I had a sip of beer once, but it was so small as to have no effects at all. I failed in trying to pursue an all-nighter with modafinil. I wish I could get more of it, bah...</p>
<p>There is a relationship between people who have mutations in dopamine receptor/transporter genes and those who abuse drugs.</p>
<p>I'd like to acquire Adderall or Ritalin so that I could do more problem sets. I'm so distractible, sigh. >.<</p>
<p>I'd like to be tested to see if I have a mutation in the DRD4 receptor genes sometime...</p>
<p>
[quote]
On the upside, I apparently don't have that addictive a personality (85% of people who smoke more than 2 full cigarettes end up being addicted to nicotine - I've smoked more, and am still fine).
[/quote]
</p>
<p>Ah yes - I know that type of personality. It's the type of personality that continually struggles with low intercellular dopamine levels.</p>
<p>hm - according to <a href="http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Image:20drugs.gif%5B/url%5D">http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Image:20drugs.gif</a> - ecstasy does less harm than alcohol? It does damage the blood brain barrier - I'd call that pretty harmful.</p>
<p>==
I read a lot of neuroscience so I'm curious about the effects of psychoactives. Otherwise I'd just want to use drugs to help myself to study since I'm so distractible. >.< (of course I realize that amphetamine-like stimulants have to be used like once in a week to prevent addiction)</p>
<p>so much for having asperger's syndrome and no social life...</p>
<p>Holy crap - I could get The Lancet for free.</p>
<p>
[quote]
. First, acute physical harm—ie, the immediate effects (eg, respiratory depression with opioids, acute cardiac crises with cocaine, and fatal poisonings). The acute toxicity of drugs is often measured by assessing the ratio of lethal dose to usual or therapeutic dose. Such data are available for many of the drugs we assess here.5–7 Second, chronic physical harm—ie, the health consequences of repeated use (eg, psychosis with stimulants, possible lung disease with cannabis). Finally, there are specific problems associated with intravenous drug use.</p>
<p>The route of administration is relevant not only to acute toxicity but also to so-called secondary harms. For instance, administration of drugs by the intravenous route can lead to the spread of blood-borne viruses such as hepatitis viruses and HIV, which have huge health implications for the individual and society. The potential for intravenous use is currently taken into account in the Misuse of Drugs Act classification and was treated as a separate parameter in our exercise.
[/quote]
So...yeah...why is ecstasy ranked so low?</p>
<p><em>researches</em>
hmm
<a href="http://www.newscientist.com/channel/health/dn8314.html%5B/url%5D">http://www.newscientist.com/channel/health/dn8314.html</a></p>
<p>For two years I went to a small catholic school and yea people did alcohol and pot but it wasnt that big of a presence...you could still go to parties and not find anything of the sort around. Last year (junior year) I transferred to a small private school and wow COMPLETE difference from my other school. Basically everyone has money so drugs and alcohol are a MUCH bigger presence. I dont think I've been to one party this year that didnt have some sort of illegal activity happening. I would say that about everyone in my grade except minus about 2 people have either been drunk or gotten high. But on the flip side many of these kids are super smart soo I guess its a whole work hard party hard atmosphere.</p>
<p>Almost everyone drinks/smokes pot at my school. The "popular" kids (I used sarcastic quotes because they aren't actually popular anymore... they were in middle school, but now they just make up a kind of stupid clique that no one emulates...) mainly drink. There's a huge clique of really smart kids (they dominate the AP classes) who are enormous potheads. It's also very easy to avoid all that, though. I'm friends with people in the second group, and it isn't as if they're constantly trying to get everyone around them to smoke.</p>
<p>Okay, what I am about to say is going to cause alot of problems, because I can tell that a lot of people in this forum have experimented with drugs. But honestly, I think drugs are for losers. It may make you feel better (and apparently it doesn't always), but if you need that to be happy about your life, then you need to stop messing around with crap like that and get your life together. And for those of you who say it's okay, and it doesn't hurt you at all, use your head for five seconds! Why would the government ban it if it wasn't bad for you! They research these things! And even if it dosn't kill you by itself, what is the cause of death when you drive while high and kill yourself and other innocent people? And other even if it doesn't kill you, it can ruin your life. You'll waste your money on dope, do bad academically because you're high, and people won't want to hang out with you because you're a loser stoner. Think about Ozzy Osbourne. Do you want to end up like that?!?</p>