Stressing about Son's Career Aspirations

This is a bit of a vent, but here goes.

My son wants to become a civil engineer. All his life he’s loved building stuff. However, I’m worried that his abilities don’t line up with his dreams. He’s good in math, but not excellent. He got an A in AP Calc AB, but it was a bit of a near thing 2nd semester. He blamed it on his other activities (playing a sport that practiced every day, etc.). Then, he got his SAT score back (1st time taking) and got a 750 Eng., but only 660 Math. He got his AP score back today and it was only a 3. He’s received 5s on both History APs he’s taken.

Since middle school, he’s been sort of in-between when it comes to the math ‘tracks’. Regular track was way too easy for him, and he was frustrated with the pace of learning, his classmates and their limitations, etc. Yet it seems like he’s barely hanging on by the skin of his teeth in the accelerated math track.

He’s not the greatest test-taker in the world and says he doesn’t like to do math ‘fast’ on tests.

All his college decisions are built on becoming an engineer. I’m frankly worried that he’s not going to make it through the math requirements.

Is there truly any hope for him in making it through an engineering program, or should I try to steer him elsewhere?

I got a 690 math on my first SAT and struggled a bit in honors algebra 2. I consider myself more of an English person than a math person. I’ve still done fine in college-level calc 1-3 and differential equations. If he’s got a decent foundation, which A’s in high school math would imply, then it becomes more a matter of hard work than talent.

I would encourage him to retake calc 1 (rough equivalent of AB) in college to reinforce the concepts and prepare him for future math classes.

When “barely hanging on” means getting an A in calculus and a 3 on the AP exam, please step back and realize that he is still better in math than the vast majority of high school students, including many who go on to study engineering in college. Engineering requires being good in math, not elite in math, so he has a good likelihood of doing well if he has good study habits.

A 660 in SAT math is near the 75th percentile of engineering majors at some schools like UC Riverside, UC Merced, San Diego State University, South Dakota School of Mines and Technology, New Mexico Institute of Mining and Technology, Michigan Technological University, University of Alabama - Huntsville, etc., according to ASEE profiles at http://profiles.asee.org/ .

There are lots of careers for kids like your son (perhaps in engineering and perhaps not) and lots of people who can advise him better than you can.

I think you can suggest looking at urban planning or architecture or construction management or transportation planning or sustainable design- all good fields for people who love to build things but might not want to become engineers- and then step back.

He needs to figure things out. And certainly doesn’t need to decide on a “once and future career” while in HS. Some of the fields he may want to explore are still in the nascent phase anyway.

I met someone recently who explained how every airport in the world (for commercial flight) was designed on the model of “car drops off person with luggage and then you need to do something with the car”. Cities around the world are just starting to understand that the driverless car is going to upend their transportation infrastructure! How cool is that going to be?

@ucbalumnus Thank you, that is reassuring. I was somewhat under the impression that unless you were flying through AP Calc and scoring higher in Math than English on the SAT that engineering wasn’t a good fit because the math gets too hard in college to master.

@bodangles Thanks – I think I would have advised him to retake calc anyways in college no matter what his AP score was, just to reinforce the concepts.

@blossom Transportation is his thing, so if he can find out some other majors (as a backup) involving transit that would be good.

At the moment he’s Cal Poly SLO if he gets in or Wyoming if he doesn’t. I wish I could interest him in SDSU, but he has a native northern Californian’s hatred of So Cal already baked in.

I have a kid making straight As easily in community college calculus who could not crack 700 in two tries at PSAT math. She switched to the ACT. It is quite possible to just not be a good tester in SAT style math.

I don’t see anything in your post that says your son can’t do civil engineering. He may want to repeat calculus his first year of college, depending on how solid he thinks his calculus skills are and the caliber of the school he gets into.

He should be aware that math in college is harder than in high school, since college math courses will cover material faster (e.g. college calculus covers the material in calculus AB in a semester or a bit more, rather than a year). However, many students study and graduate in engineering majors having entered college having completed only up to precalculus in high school; calculus AB is a bonus.

Urban southern California may give him some more real world experience and observation of transportation problems than San Luis Obispo or Laramie.

Ha! Yes, he gets to experience those ‘transportation problems’ frequently on our visits down there.

He’ll be taking Calc BC next year so I’m hopeful the two years of calculus will really sink in for him.

He’ll find his way. You have probably heard freshmen change their majors multiple times before graduation.

He has the ability to do fine in civil engineering. Try not to worry.

Just curious if the fear is him not getting into an elite program vs engineering in general. The fact he can do AP level math is a good indicator he can likely perform at the college math level in engineering. He may need to put some extra time into it but I wouldn’t steer him in another direction since he has what seems to be a passion for engineering. Who knows, he may change majors in college anyway like many kids. Good luck. Sounds like he is already focused so thats half the battle.

Don’t stress until something becomes an actual problem. I would certainly let him go ahead and find a college where he can study engineering. There is a very good chance that he will be just fine. If engineering ultimately doesn’t work out, then give him a big hug and help him to figure out a Plan B,

So much of math is just through putting in the work and repetition. If he has the interest and doesn’t self-limit, he will do well. If he doesn’t, he won’t.

I think that wanting to do something very badly and applying oneself to do it is at least three quarters of the battle. Study after study has shown that it’s not the kids who think they are brilliant who achieve; it’s those who persevere.

I was going to say the same thing as blossom and list the same career paths as blossom did (though blossom did a better job :slight_smile: ) Your son has always loved building things. How did that become civil engineering? I mean, was that a recent thing where he looked into careers involving building?

I was just reading an article about how traffic lights are managed in real time. Seemed like a cool job for someone good at observing patterns. Sorry that is a bit of a tangent!

My son spent 16 years with Legos and then did computer science: he said the binary choices along the way with Legos is just like programming. Does your son like physically building things or is he on a computer all the time?

You might want to check out Olin, which is project-based engineering. It is every bit a selective as MIT and located near it in Needham MA.

I wouldn’t worry about qualifications for engineering so much unless he is super stressed in classes. But I am skeptical of the specificity of his path. I think he can enter college as an undecided, explore some things, and major in just about anything and then go to grad school for something in his area of interest, or learn on the job.

“Building things” is very literal for kids but is a part of a lot of jobs, in a less concrete sense.

@compmom: Olin is every bit as challenging as MIT as well.

Actually, getting an A and 3 in Calc AB as a HS junior isn’t half-bad.

That certainly wouldn’t make me think that he wouldn’t be able to make it through an engineering curriculum.

However, MIT/Olin/Mudd/Cooper Union/Caltech would be a bit more than a typical engineering currculum.

“Is there truly any hope for him in making it through an engineering program”

From what you have said I also think that he can do it.

“… says he doesn’t like to do math ‘fast’ on tests.”

“Fast” is not what you want in an engineer. “Careful” and “thorough” is a better plan.

I think he can do fine in CivE. The math is very specific and not particularly complicated.

Civil engineering is solving design problems involving buildings and infrastructure. Surely the relation to building things is obvious.

He has a strong enough math base to succeed in engineering. Still, I would recommend that he brush up on the details. The stronger the base he has, the greater his chance for success.