<p>Simba, I was suspicious of the self-reported data when I asked last year.
I'd guess that about 80 percent of students are happy, 10 percent unhappy but stick it out, 10 percent unhappy and transfer at least once.</p>
<p>I figure I'd share:</p>
<p>I hated UC Berkeley (henceforth referenced as Cal), my first year. I wouldn't say I am exactly in love or enamored with it now. There are a lot of things that stick in my craw, immensely. </p>
<p>So, here's how it started -- I was a planned Business major and those hopes got dashed my first year. I mostly ran into bad luck I think, and that was the fact of the matter looking back at it. My english class was not exactly enjoyable. Our teacher was a bait-and-switch indoctrinator, the rumors of indoctrination, are not myth, but we won't get into that. She billed the class as a study into immigrant literature and after the drop date, it switched focus completely to feminist and gay and lesbian studies and immigration seemed to be a sidenote, nevermind the title of the class was titled "Immigration and Its Discontents". It was agonizing, as while I have nothing against such things, I'm not particularly interested in it. I was lucky to get a B. Furthermore, I struggled, though achieved good grades at great sacrifice to my social opportunities and had the roommates from Hell. I signed up for slightly messy (clothes on the floor until laundry day, papers on the desk) and quiet in bed before 1 AM. What did I get? Horrid slobs and blasting loud music all hours of the night -- so loud you could hear down the hall through the door and an RA that was permissive out of political correctness. (I was the white guy with two chinese roommates.) Of course, I was the weird one for not loving the party atmosphere. Anyway, I started to feel regrets about Cal as early as September, but I kept them to myself, thinking it would get better. They did for awhile in the early Spring, but around the 1st of March things took a nose-dive spiral and it got even worse than it was before. I wanted nothing more than to leave. I didn't make many friends, my political views were chastised (I'm no Bush fan, but I don't tout the democratic line 100% either.) and used often as a source of harrasment. My parents were equally unsympathetic and thought my belly-aching was because I didn't "appreciate it". Fact of the matter was, I was so miserable, trying to keep up with all the demands, I didn't have time or the real desire to appreciate it. I came home for Spring Break after a number of things just blew up in my face and stated, that after that semester, I wanted to leave or transfer. Of course, this resulted in lectures and perhaps, looking back at it -- I was being unreasonable and unfair, but when you are as deeply dissatisfied and unhappy as I was, especially after some of the things that were said on both sides; you might understand.</p>
<p>Pre-Second year: Still trying to get into Haas, my telebears date landed really late through total misfortune and I was unable to get into a pre-req class that I absolutely HAD to take that semester if I wanted to apply and graduate on time. Secondly, because I had so many AP credits, I had emails telling me I had to declare a major or my registration would be blocked. This never came to fruition but this was frightening because I had to come up with something quick and start getting the classes I needed. I was essentially back to the start since Haas was basically out of the question. So I ended up an American Studies major. (Yea, go aheaad -- laugh, I'm not exactly proud of this, but it was the closest thing I had for declaration purposes.) I was so fed up at one point, that in spite of the Iraq War, I was ready to call up a military recruiter just to get away from the heaving bureaucratic monster of Cal and my parents, who to me at the time, seemed horrifically unsympathetic. I realized, they were just trying to get me to give the school a second chance.</p>
<p>Second Year: Things were slightly better, I had great roommates, but I withdrew upon myself and worked my butt off to get my grades as high as possible so I could transfer. I worked extremely hard on the apps, wrote essays, the whole nine yards that I had just done two years before. I started making friends, but tended isolate myself becuase I did not want to grow attached to anyone and make leaving any harder. I spent most of the Fall Semester in my room, studying and trying to hide from Berkeley, aside from football games which I used as study breaks.
Second Semester, the apps were in. On a night I was feeling particularly dark, after one of my hallmates had been an incredible jerk, I went out for a walk, not wanting to be bothered -- and for some reason walked into this fraternity house. This was perhaps one of the strangest whims of fate I have ever encountered. I went to a few more Rush events, and got a Bid. Whether I was a pity case or the guys actually liked me, I'll never know. These men would become my best friends by the end of the semester.</p>
<p>I would spend the next year in the House and growing tremendously as a person, finding my voice once again, and embracing the fruits of life, as well as getting the courage to take the following year abroad, which is now, sadly, rapidly coming to a close, but I am looking forward to getting back to my old life.</p>
<p>Moral of the story: It worked out, Cal was not exactly the right school for me, but I found a place to belong to and it elevated the experience from being numbingly miserable and mundane to pretty enjoyable. I will be a "super-senior" this coming year, and hoping to make it the best year ever at Cal. Though I wish those ****ing donation mongers would stop calling me. If you are considering transfering, look at options you may not have explored at your school yet. Co-Ops, Fraternities, clubs, everything, you might find a niche that you never expected to fit into. Or, if your kids need it, parents be understanding and let them make their own decisions. If they need a gap year for transfers or just to let some time pass and get a fresh start at the school, let them take it.</p>
<p>Andrew, I appreciated reading your candid post. It is so hard for students to make a decision when they feel the school is not right for them that first year. It very well could work out as it did for you, but I'm sure they also think, "Could it even get worse and how will I survive another 3 years!". Oh, to have a crystal ball. But the point you make is very valid---look around, it may not be the most wonderful place on earth--but you can find things/people/activities to make it much better. Thanks for sharing.</p>
<p>I turned down a dream school for a flagship, honors program, college. Hated it. Roommate's friends stole my typewriter, clothes, checks, etc in first semester. She got booted from school, but it was terrible start. Another friend busted and second roommate got pregnant. By second year, I took 7 courses a semester and graduated as quickly as possible. It was a different time; never thought of transferring and losing credits; didn't want to spend parents' money. My parents probably never knew how unhappy I was, since I had several ECs and won awards in my major. It sure made a difference when thinking about child's college experience.
I'm relieved that kids are able to talk to parents about their true feelings at their school, and working together to decide about transfer or not for a year.</p>
<p>"It was a different time; never thought of transferring..."
Yes it was. I went to a large state U. and I don't think I knew anyone who transferred--several unhappy and several who partied their way out though. Maybe transferring was more difficult back then?</p>
<p>Andrew, thanks for the post. I went to Cal, really loved it, but I can also understand how overwhelmingly bureaucratic and political that school can be. I smiled at your description of your literature class - completely believable. Although my politics were more in line with Cal's than yours appear to be, I also thought the PC stuff was overboard. In those days, I as a female literature student was expected to hate Hemingway and LOVE Virginia Woolf. My comment that the former was exciting and that the latter put me to sleep caused shock, shock among the TAs and fellow students. Glad to hear things are better now. I suspect the lesson of 'making it work' will carry a great deal more weight with you than some of you classes.</p>
<p>Katlia: Exactly, "Making It Work" is one of the hardest and most important lessons anyone can learn. Sometimes you have to stare your demons in the face and tackle them head on. Most of the time, your problem turns from this great big scary monster into a harmless puppy if you actually take the time to understand what the issue is, and how to rectify it. My issue? I was mainly dissastified with the social (or seeming lack thereof) life and the overly politically correct atmosphere and hugely disappointed I wasn't gonna get my first choice major. As far as PC goes, I don't fit in well at all -- my sense of humor falls more in with South Park and Family Guy -- which are both completely politically incorrect. </p>
<p>Joining my house helped me reconcile that, and now I am in a tight social group with guys who have similar ambitions (successful business people, engineers, academics, military careermen, etc.) and world views.</p>
<p>I guess the second moral to my story is: Parents, if your child is really having a tough time, maybe putting forward the idea of joining a fraternity and sorority or co-op, despite their feelings, might be in their best interest. I went from totally miserable to being reasonably happy in under a semester. I never thought I would be a fraternity guy, honestly. I had pledged one previously, but left due to philosophical differences. They are/were good guys, but we just didn't see eye to eye, and my difficulties my first year didn't help matters. Another option is considering a semester or year abroad, getting away and experiencing a new culture and meeting new people who've had completely different life experiences (Let's face it, we're pretty homogenous when you get right down to it here in the US.) than us, might give some perspective and direction in life. Or, go out totally on a limb and try a new club revolving around something they might not have thought they were previously interested in.</p>
<p>i will echo a sentiment i have seen once or twice on this thread: if you're unhappy at your school, whatever you do, make sure you do NOT let it affect you academically. when you are very unhappy, it's really hard - believe me, i know! - but it WILL pay off in a transfer, if that is ultimately your decision :) honestly, it doesn't sound "good" - but the prospect of transferring (and needing good grades in order to do so) was my main motivation this past year to continue doing well, when my unhappiness clouded my judgment.</p>