<p>How is calling the police a threat on civil liberties? Again, the police don’t AUTOMATICALLY arrest someone. They ask questions, they talk to people, they obtain warrants and look at files on computers to get around hearsay. If you have a complaint, and you believe you’re in harms’ way - you call the police.</p>
<p>Also - it’s not unreasonable to wait an hour or two for the Dean to return a call before calling in and demanding to talk to some other individual who may or may not be equipped to handle the problem.</p>
<p>“Again to the op, how did he get in four of her classes? That takes effort. It’s not an accident. It was a very planned move on someones part. My daughter tried to get in one class with her bf, they got the same prof but totally different times. Didn’t anyone go hmmm, a guy who was really pushing a relationship withndaughter, who took the rejection poorly is now in almost all her classes?”</p>
<p>Depends on the school and the degree plan. My daughter is in a middle sized school and almost all of the classes within her major are comprised of the same students together again and again - and they work on projects together too. They are in the same grade, so they’re on the same track together. When I look at the class roles for her classes - I see the same names over and over. It’s not as uncommon as you might think.</p>
<p>This girl does not go to a huge school. And if they are in the same major, they might only have one section of particular classes. </p>
<p>So that may be part of the issue. </p>
<p>Also, UMD stated that her daughter tried to remain friends with him over the summer, when they were choosing classes. So they may have agreed to be in the same classes at that time. His questionable behavior has obviously escalated since then. </p>
<p>And yes, I would agree it is appropriate to give someone a few hours to return a call. Otherwise, mom may come off as being unreasonable and that will not help her get the help for this situation she needs.</p>
<p>Maybe I have missed it, but I don’t think this question has been answered. OP, it may well be that you don’t have any more specific information about the threats. And even if you did, you are certainly not required to share that information on this thread. But I do think you should be as clear about this as you can be, for when the Dean of Students returns your call. </p>
<p>In any case, I do think you did the right thing in calling the Dean.</p>
<p>The fact that the student showed the other student his documentation of all the things the OP’s daughter has “done” to him,and stated that he was going to get revenge would be enough of a threat in my book.</p>
<p>vlines, I don’t mean to imply that that is not enough of a reason to call the Dean; I was one of the many posters who urged the OP to call the Dean. But I am thinking, if the OP calls the Dean and says that another student has threatened revenge, the first question she may be asked is what exactly did the student say, to whom, etc.</p>
<p>Thank you for reposting the question, I’m glad somebody is paying attention to the lack of FACTS currently being presented that are causing this hysteria.</p>
<p>vlines - “The fact that the student showed the other student his documentation of all the things the OP’s daughter has “done” to him,and stated that he was going to get revenge would be enough of a threat in my book.”</p>
<p>And my point is that fact that many posters here are suggesting that the police should be called or that Dr. Google diagnosed this kid with a mental disorder is pretty scary in of itself.</p>
<p>If you are truly concerned for her safety, hop in the car and drive there. I don’t understand the disconnect between your immense concern online and the lack of taking real action. </p>
<p>Get in your car. Drive to the college (30 miles is nothing). Speak with your daughter.
See exactly what’s going on. Take action. </p>
<p>This whole thing could be a wrongly perceived drama that has gotten out of hand. The fact that she continues to put herself in his company (socializing, hanging out, meetings) while at the same time complain to you about his behavior is strange to me.</p>
<p>And financegrad, I dont think that there are a lack of facts. </p>
<p>OP’s DD feels threatened by behaviors of another student
OP’s DD (and friends) have gone to RA
OP’s DD (and friends) met with student as requested by RA to address behaviors
OP’s DD still feels threatened
Mom going to dean to try to address. </p>
<p>Armchair diganosing is just waht happens as part of speculation. No one is saying anything disparaging against this student, but are voicing concerns that the unusual behavior that makes OP’s DD feel threatened has escalated. So it needs to go to the next step. For everyone’s sake, not just OP’s DD. Too much at stake for everyone if it is not addressed properly.</p>
<p>I, too, need clarification as per post #144’s request. The witness of the log “threat” should step up and go with the daughter to the Dean’s office unless the witness is making it all up. </p>
<p>Since the mother called the Dean and she just left a message on the Dean’s voice mail why not send the Dean an e-mail giving her the exact details of her concerns about the boy?</p>
<p>In all honesty, this is the second thread from OP on this topic. First one started about 2 weeks ago. Why has it taken so long for someone (D or mom) to call the Dean? Posters were imploring it on thread #1. What would it have hurt to have called the Dean one or two weeks ago?</p>
<p>“When, in fact, they have been trying to get him help for the past 3 weeks.”</p>
<p>Who was contacted other than the RA who it does not seem did anything or notified anyone as far as we know?</p>
<p>“It is a mystery to me why this phone call to the dean has taken so long, and why the mom, who is now so anxious, simply leaves a message on the phone.”</p>
<p>I can’t believe I’m actually replying to your question. I’m beginning to feel like I need to justify every action that I’ve taken. I called this morning, spoke with a person, and left a message because the Dean was not in the office.</p>
<p>cromette:</p>
<p>“Depends on the school and the degree plan. My daughter is in a middle sized school and almost all of the classes within her major are comprised of the same students together again and again - and they work on projects together too. They are in the same grade, so they’re on the same track together. When I look at the class roles for her classes - I see the same names over and over. It’s not as uncommon as you might think.”</p>
<p>My D is a CS major. Many of the same students take the same CS and math classes that she does. She will most likely be in classes with this guy until she graduates.</p>
<p>Just found this thread. Agree that you have every reason to ask the Dean (is this the Dean of Students?) if they have a threat assessment team at their school and that you have grave concerns about your daughters safety and this student. I also agree that the RA did not handle this appropriately, as this sounds like a situation requiring a higher level of expertise than he/she has. If you do not hear back from the Dean, consider contacting the university police and ask their advice. Good luck, and keep your daughter safe!</p>
<p>"My D is a CS major. Many of the same students take the same CS and math classes that she does. She will most likely be in classes with this guy until she graduates.</p>
<p>Is this such a small school that they cannot be in different sections for the same class?</p>
<p>PS I also reported problem post and asked to remove for privacy reasons.</p>
<p>Yes, Ohiomom, it is. And my son goes to a rather large school, but for major specific classes, there are still only one, possibly two sections of the class.</p>
<p>“The witness of the log “threat” should step up and go with the daughter to the Dean’s office unless the witness is making it all up.”</p>
<p>Why in the world would this friend of my D’s make up something like that? Why would he lie to her and say that he’s very concerned because this guy is threatening to take revenge against her and her friends? Why would he lie that this guy is acting bizarre and is extremely angry? It’s comments like this that just make me shake my head.</p>
<p>Enough is enough. Doesn’t matter if DH thinks you are over reacting. Doesn’t matter what the rest of us do from our couch and keyboard, you need some resolution for your own sanity and you need to feel your daughter is protected.</p>
<p>If I were you, I’d drive to the college, get your D, go with her to the police, camp out in the Dean’s office, whatever it will take. Your D may not agree, but as a mother, your gut is usually correct most of the time. Better to have DH and DD think you’re over reacting then to have any incidents.</p>
<p>It is 30 minutes away and if it’s eastern standard time, it’s just after lunch. If I did not hear back by 2:00 pm, I would drive to the Dean’s office myself to discuss this. It’s 30 minutes. I drive that far to Costco.</p>
<p>OP, good luck on this… did you tell the person you spoke to that you are concerned for your daughter’s safety? It seems like that would get them to have someone call you back right away if you told them that. No harm in calling again if you do not hear within a couple of hours, and underscoring the urgency of the situation. Honestly, if he does not call you back by later this afternoon, I would call the police. Especially if his office knows what your concerns are.</p>