<p>From the Boston Globe</p>
<p>Re-adjustment problems for students who have spent the summer abroad.
<a href="http://www.boston.com/news/local/articles/2006/09/04/students_who_summer_far_away_redefine_culture_shock/%5B/url%5D">http://www.boston.com/news/local/articles/2006/09/04/students_who_summer_far_away_redefine_culture_shock/</a></p>
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To help returning students adjust, college officials offer counseling and host barbecues for students to share their experiences.
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<p>What a crock. Can't we deal with ANYTHING nowadays without running for counseling? Isn't experiencing the very different culture of other countries the whole point of heading overseas? I think most students would be surprised if they went to Uganda for the summer and the locals were running around with briefcases clutching Starbucks frapachinos.</p>
<p>Who is paying for the counseling, I wonder?</p>
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It is an issue colleges take more seriously than in the past, as a growing number of college students go abroad to non traditional sites outside of Western Europe
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<p>This is a common concept, for some reason - that people who spend time in Western Europe don't experience culture shock. We are going through this right now and it's very real. Perhaps the issues aren't the same, but there are issues. Our biggest ones are interpersonal relationships (the friendliness of Americans is amazing), evironmental issues (we're a lot greener than we used to be), and the constant feeling of being in an alternate universe where things are similar, but not quite right. Paper is a different size. The telephone ring is different, as is the police siren. Grocery stores have different items. Banking is different. Shopping carts move any direction (all four wheels rotate). Driving rules are different. My daughter came down stairs last week with used batteries from her calculator in her hand, and a confused expression on her face. "What do I do with these?" In Germany used batteries must be returned to the store. It's no BIG thing - it's the cumulation of many little things. </p>
<p>The bigger problem is that people who spend time abroad come home changed, but look the same, so people don't understand or realize or respect the changes. Many folks are convinced we were on a 3 year vacation, with no concept of the difficulties of living in a foreign culture, as opposed to visiting one. We encouraged our D to change her hairstyle to give people a visual reminder that she isn't the same person she was when she left 3 years ago. I'm sure people think we're idiots when we don't know how to use a credit card reader, or forget a holiday (like Labor Day!), don't appreciate the latest fashions, or don't understand the newest vernacular. </p>
<p>I think colleges have the right ideas about helping students process their experiences, and recognize how they have been changed. Having a support group would be wonderful. Sorting through the changes will allow a student to decide what they want to "keep", and what to do with the rest.</p>
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I'm sure people think we're idiots when we don't know how to use a credit card reader
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<p>O.K., so how long did it take you to figure this out? 10 seconds? Maybe 20? Did your d need COUNSELING to adjust to different telephone rings? Even if she had lived among desperately poor, persecuted people and was now experiencing guilt and questioning the very nature of cosmic justice and her religious beliefs.....COUNSELING? </p>
<p>I'd also remind you that the kids who your d left behind are no longer the same people they were three years ago.</p>
<p>Living abroad is a form of travelling. Inner conflicts and mental adjustment are part of the revelatory thrill, a self vs world discovery. Besides, what counselor would have the specific country knowledge to comment? The best remedy for culture shock is a few quiets, a cuppa or a nice meal with fellow travellers.</p>
<p>My son travels back and forth. It never occured to me that he needed COUNSELLING to understand his experiences abroad! Hah! Yeah, the folks back home glaze over if there's too much talk about another country--unless you can find the kernel that is really really funny. Everyone likes a funny story.</p>
<p>SS - Have you ever been away from family friends with young children, and find that you still picture them at the same age as the last time you saw them, no matter how long it's been since you've seen them? The HS kids have changed, no doubt. D was prepared for that. But they have all changed gradually, together, so they are not as aware of their own changes, and are not as prepared to allow for changes in others. They've changed because they've matured, but I do not think they've changed as much as D. The growth and change in her is one of the reasons colleges tend to value these types of experiences.</p>
<p>I seriously doubt the counseling these schools are offering is any in-depth psychoanalysis. I think it's merely an acknowledgement that cross-cultural living can be difficult, and sometimes it helps to talk. They know that talking with folks who've experienced similar things allows everyone to converse at a deeper level more quickly. My experience overseas was difficult for me precisely because I didn't have anyone sharing the experience. We were the only (non-military) Americans in our town.</p>
<p>For instance, you disparage my difficulty with the credit card reader. Another expat would understand instantly. They would also understand what it's like to feel "dumb" because of the constant barrage of not knowing or understanding things that others take for granted. I could list a hundred things, and every one of them would seem simplistic to you. That is why it really helps more to talk with someone who can validate my experience.</p>
<p>When D attended her German school, the people she became closest to were other immigrants. We didn't realize it at the time - they all spoke German, and our German wasn't good enough to pick up on the accents. They were from Russia, Ukraine, Greece. But they befriended her because they've been there, done that, and knew what she was going through. </p>
<p>My D has not needed counseling. But I would never rule it out. What she has done is sought out the people at her school who have a clue - the German teacher, from Germany. The US history teacher, who lived in Germany. The Spanish teacher who lived abroad. I guess you could say she is self-counseling. I don't have a problem with her needing to talk about it.</p>
<p>Binx - </p>
<p>I was an expat for 5 years, and I understood instantly. We were gone when the telephone system in the US deregulated - and couldn't figure out why we needed a long distance carrier on return. And couldn't name one.</p>
<p>However, I'm struggling a bit with the need for counselling after just a summer abroad.</p>
<p>My 14 y/o rising HS freshman S spent 6 weeks this summer living in an athletes' dorm in Beijing, where he trained in Chinese martial arts 4 to 6 hours a day. (He attended for 3 1/2 weeks last summer.) He lived with Chinese, American, Korean, Italian, German, Japanese, Israeli, Jordanian, South African, French, Swedish, Canadian, Vietnamese and more nationalities who were there to train at a Chinese sports school. He made many new friends with the local Chinese kids as well as with other foreign visitors. He loved it, traveled all around Beijing, had no adjustment issues, mastered the ATM machines, cabs, Internet, etc., and enjoyed the food. No counseling seems to be required here.</p>
<p>binx - good post. I would not have thought of things changing so much in three years. It never occured to me that one of the benefits of my daughter doing her study abroad with her own college's group would be so they could "validate" each others experiences at the end. Makes sense. I could tell from her pictures and the way she described everything that it was a totally different experience then the traveling we've done as a family.</p>
<p>Hey, welcome home!</p>
<p>(Edit - cross post with Kathie - Thanks for the welcome.)</p>
<p>Thanks, Kate. Natural gas has been deregulated here - same problem.</p>
<p>Congrats, idad. I will be the first to admit - and have done so many times - that the younger are more flexible! Perhaps part of that is the sense that someone else is taking care of them. In some, it's also that they aren't really aware that the world isn't revolving around them. (No, I don't mean your S - that's a general statement about 14 year olds.) </p>
<p>Certainly counseling is an individual issue. My oldest spent 9 months on a study abroad, and did just fine. No problems, no big deal. Although I agree that a summer trip doesn't seem like it is more than a long vacation, I hesistate to say what someone else might need help with. Scroll through the threads on here, and discover how many kids are struggling with moving away from home within the same country - or state, even. Even after just a few days. There are even some parents asking for support to deal with their empty nest or whatever. I don't see counseling as much different from this.</p>
<p>Counseling is available for all kinds of life changes. Divorce, death, learning disabilities, even college admissions! Certainly some handle these situations without trouble or assistance. For some reason, some people are even very proud of their lack of emotions, and see it as a sign of adjustment. I don't see anything in the article that makes the couseling compulsory, only available. If it helps someone, I don't have a problem with it.</p>
<p>I also think "counseling" is a misnomer regarding what the colleges are trying to provide. "Sounding board" would be more like it. Or peer group discussion session if the students returning from abroad are invited in to talk as a group. This just makes good sense to me, both to let the students validate each others reactions to their time abroad and to help them sift through what they learned in a receptive atmosphere. Cheers is right that when expats or students return home, people who have not been through similar experiences tend to tune out or quickly go on to another subject rather than listen to someone else's travel stories. </p>
<p>When my husband and I and four-month-old son moved to Nairobi years ago, I was overwhelmed a bit by what I saw just from the drive home from the airport. Swarms of people trudging on the side of the road because they couldn't afford or fit on the "matatu" vans which have people spilling out and hanging on for dear life....ragged little kids running up to the stopped cars to beg....streets overflowing with sidewalk vendors.....Masai warriors in full tribal dress, with spears, just walking through the city. When we got inside the house, I collapsed on the bed sort of stunned. My husband asked what was wrong and all I could say was, "I didn't expect it to be sooo different." This was going to be our home for the next five years and it was definitely an initial shock that a capital city in the third world really had very little resemblance to a capital city in the first world. And I was 33 years old and had been a newspaper reporter for 10 years -- I'd interviewed streetwalkers in Newark and farm workers in rural Florida, been inside rat-infested housing project apartments and migrant labor camps you wouldn't even call 'housing' --- and I still had a culture shock reaction. Imagine how it might be for someone who is 20 and never traveled abroad before, particularly to an underdeveloped part of the world. And returning home can be emotionally jarring too, but in the reverse. Sometimes you just want someone to talk to about what you've seen or learned. I don't see anything wrong with the colleges taking steps to ease the transition home for students.</p>
<p>I have to say that I think the suggestion of counselling for my son, who is an expat who routinely travels back and forth from life in the US and life in wherever--Asia, Australasia, Africa and Western Europe, would be damaging. He might think he ought to have issues that he otherwise copes with through stoicism, reading, correspondence and friendships. I would be opposed to the suggestion, frankly. Leave him to process his experiences without any Oprah-speak.</p>
<p>Jazzy's story did ring a bell. I had similar feelings during a trip to Egypt--even though it followed a year of third world living/travelling. </p>
<p>I have a friend who grew up in Communist Czecholslovakia. His parents tried to escape to Germany four times and were successful on the final attempt. (On the third failed attempt, he was sent to foster care while his parents were sent to jail).</p>
<p>In any event, once they were in Germany, they hosted Czech relatives who escaped and Czech relatives who were able to travel due to their high rank in the Party. Once, a distant cousin came to visit. They took her to the gorcery store to pick up something to prepare for dinner. The cousin fell into hysterics, literally. She was overwhelmed by the amount of food and goods available at a typical German supermarket. She had no idea that such prosperity existed. Czech groceries were nearly always bare.</p>
<p>Eventually, my friend's mother, a physician, sedated her.</p>
<p>That's the kind of 'culture shock' that needs counselling to make the transition, as does a stint in Iraq. Says me.</p>
<p>Well, that's if you define counseling as something that follows traumatization. Counseling has also referred to advising one on what college to apply to or what courses to take freshman year. Counseling for any transition is valid. IMO.</p>
<p>True. I assumed that the colleges were operating from a basis of 'trauma'. Colleges have always been cautious about students who take leave for whatever reason. I was not allowed to return to an RA position because I had taken a year off to work.</p>
<p>Normally, I am a huge fan of PROFESSIONAL counselling--especially for adults. I am very cautious about making suggestions of mental illness to impressionable youngsters who are merely processing normal vagaries. I think this particular situation, applied across entire student groups without regard to actual mental health, borders the suggestive. Thus my opposition in this instance. I wouldn't want colleges to 'suggest' to my son that he OUGHT to have problems processing his culture shocks. For all of his sophistication, he is impressionable to authoritative suggestions.</p>
<p>Once upon a time, my young teen son was disciplined for egging a friend's car. He apologized, dutifully met all punishment and paid to have the car professionally cleaned. Then the school counselor called him in. She asked him if he was depressed. He said he wasn't feeling too great about all the punishment. She suggested, and I kid you not, that he call a psychiatrist for an appointment to get medication to treat his depression!! He came home with a wry smile on his face. "The counselor says I need drugs!" </p>
<p>Again, I am an avid fan of profesional treatment for mental illnesses--my brother is seriously ill--but I also think Americans get carried away with Oprah-speak and insti-cures.</p>
<p>If a college was routinely calling in every student who had been abroad to probe them about whether they needed "help" processing, I would understand your point. Some students wouldn't need a bit of help transitioning. Others might have been deeply moved or had their life view changed and actually would like to talk to someone about it without any mental health connotation whatsoever. BTW, your kids seem to have gone to a school with an overly solicitious (if not intrusive) cast of administrators and counselors. Maybe "you get what you pay for" isn't always a plus.</p>
<p>WHY try and help the "adjust" they saw the world and felt passionate about it and to not be able to just party hearty afterwards, is that a bad thing?</p>
<p>Its like the kids are complainnig about being a "different person"...isn;t that a BENEFIT from going out into the world</p>
<p>These kids are not traumatized, but they have seen the reality of the world, and see that we can be a very spoiled people but there are things we can do</p>
<p>What they need to do, is find a way to help the kids channel that new found passion here- encouraging other kids to go abroad, not try and diminish the passion these students found, and celebrating how much they have learned</p>
<p>By implying there is something "bad" about their feelings of thinking things are petty and trite after seeing real poverty and problems, you miss the whole point of going abroad to learn and to help...if people weren't moved and changed, why bother sending them away</p>
<p>Norman, 24, recommends that students who have trouble readjusting seek out similar ethnic communities in Boston to stay connected to the foreign culture they miss.</p>
<p>This seems like the best piece of advice in the article. Especially for those who really had life-changing experiences and are re-evaluating their goals in life, etc. Isn't that why the schools offer the study abroad programs in the first place?
As an interesting comment, kids who have been expats and return to the US to go to college face similar problems and one of the best solutions is to join in the programs colleges offer for international students. My daughter is blonde and blue-eyed but will be hanging out at the Asian student events for sure!</p>
<p>Well, as the parent of kids who have spent time abroad, I also think the "counseling" thing is kind of silly in that context. However, I'd note that their foreign exchange groups (AFS & YFU) did provide them with advance orientation sessions to prepare for culture shock. I don't know what college study abroad programs do --so maybe the "counseling" isnt muc more than what the foreign exchange programs typically offer under another name.</p>