<p>I’m sorry your first few days haven’t been what you expected. I think if most students who are studying abroad are honest, they have similar feelings. My advice is similar to some of the above posters: try and stick it out. Do your best to get yourself on “Paris time.” Plan to see some things in Paris that you’ve dreamed of seeing. </p>
<p>Both of my kids studied abroad. Both were scared and lonely at first. Both gained more maturity and self-reliance during those 3-4 months than during any other time I can think of. Neither hung out with other Americans very much. My D found friends through the international student organization at the university. Her new buddies were from Australia, a Scandinavian country, and South Africa, among others. (She was in Switzerland.)</p>
<p>This is an experience that will stretch you in many ways. As a 50-something, I look back on my life experiences, and some of the scariest experiences, or experiences that took me the furthest from my comfort zone, were the ones that truly shaped my life. Hang in there!</p>
<p>Yep, my D was homesick last year in Prague (cold, dark and unfamiliar language). To keep herself going, she gave herself mini-goals - three weeks til she got to visit BF in Rome, 6 weeks until Spring Break trip to Vienna and Budapest, 9 weeks until mom and grandma come to visit. She also tried to exercise and eat well. </p>
<p>She never really “loved” her experience, but she is glad that she stuck it out. It was definitely a learning experience (learned that she doesn’t want to live abroad). </p>
<p>Give yourself time, get to know some of the other students, get active. Good luck!</p>
<p>OP, sweetie, honest, everyone who goes abroad experiences, to some degree, what you’re experiencing. Even seasoned travelers!</p>
<p>Be kind to yourself, try to get some sleep, don’t make any decisions or deep judgments. It’s WAAAAAY early for you to be thinking seriously of wanting to go back home. </p>
<p>Give yourself some time and in the meantime, do something nice for yourself. </p>
<p>Here’s my recommendation, if you’re in central Paris. Head over to Ile St. Luis, that nice little island on the Seine, just below Ile de la Cite with Notre Dame on it. On the main street of Ile St. Luis is a famous ice cream shop, Bertillon. A tad on the pricey side, but believe you me, totally worth it. Especially during a crisis, like the mini-crisis you’re in right now. I swear to you on my ice cream obsessed ancestors, this will be the best ice cream you’ve ever had. Suddenly, Paris will seem a lot better. </p>
<p>Good luck. Give yourself, and this magical (but yes, sometimes maddening) city a chance. As they say over there, bonne chance!</p>
<p>But on the flip side, remember that Paris is a living working city, and that the people who live there have their own lives, and are not there for your amusement. There does seem to be something special about Paris:</p>
<p>:’)
Thank you so much everyone!!! I really want to make the most out of this experience. I will take care of myself. Honestly, I have been pathetic for the past 2-3 days.
I arrived in Paris from New York at 7am and went immediately to an all day orientation from 9am to 4pm. I havent had the time to even see the eiffel tower, or anything Paris is famous for bec i’ve been sooo tired. i always had this idea of paris being pristine—very clean and luxurious. it just isnt that and i will just have to get used it.</p>
<p>on top of that, my living conditions have been the biggest damper on the first day. im on the couch in the living room/kitchen–a very small space while my roommate has the bedroom with closest space and a bathroom. We are payng the same amt. I want to ask if we can switch mid semester–that will only be fair…or I just find somewhere else to live.</p>
<p>How did you end up in housing without 2 bedrooms? If you are going through a program, I would call them and complain, unless it was clear in the materials you received that this would be the case.</p>
<p>I agree that you need to raise this issue with your roommate about swapping. Bring it up now, and ask if you can set a target date for the swap. Also, maybe ask now if you can use half the closet.</p>
<p>FWIW – when I first went to Europe on my own (as a 20-year-old), what worked for me was to push myself to stay awake for about 18-20 hours – 'til about 9pm local time. I then slept for 10-12 hours, awoke in the morning, and was fundamentally adjusted.</p>
<p>it is a one bedroom duplex. I am using half the closet and have full access to the bathroom but its just annoying that i have to go up the narrow stairs just to access my clothes while everything is conveniently placed for her. this is actually part of the reason why i cant imagine myself being here for 5 months.</p>
<p>unfortunately, we knew the arrangement before hand. she had her friend visit the place and her friend said that the living room was a sufficient space with a comfy pull out sofa. the sofa is not uncomfortable but the spaces themselves are unequal. i thought we would discuss the lving arrangements once we both saw the apt in person but she just quickly set up in the bedroom since she arrived 3 days before me. </p>
<p>i asked yesterday if she planned to pay more rent be/c of this and she said that that was not an option for her. we considered buying an airbed so that i can sleep on the floor in the room but the space wont fit an additional bed like that. My boyfriend was supposed to visit but after showing him the apt he feels like he has to now save extra money so that we can both stay in a hotel while he is here—i feel bad and kinda dont want him to come if the cost is too great for him. the room upstairs, however, is private and is perfect for a couple. </p>
<p>i want the room before mid-march so that he can visit…and so that i can have something to look forward to. the living room is lower and just stays DARK even when its sunny outside be/c its facing a brick wall. upstairs is bright and sunny and has a good view.</p>
<p>Strongbeans, I wrote to you on a different forum; I am glad you posted here, too… it seems you have given more details about what’s going on and that you are getting lots of tips from others, which is great. The housing situation does not sound the best, but it sounds like you are thinking of creative ways to deal with it. You are going to learn SO much about yourself and about life in another country this semester. Hang in there.</p>
<p>I do NOT think it is fair to ask for the space so your guest can visit… but it IS fair to ask that you split the time with the better space. I think you should ask her if she would prefer to swap monthly, or at the mid-semester break. Stand up for yourself. If HER friend said the space was fine, then SHE should be willing to take either space. If she acknowledges that they are not equal and she can’t pay more, then it is only fair to take turns with the better space. I personally think moving once at mid-semester is easiest for both of you, though.</p>
<p>Also… unless you agreed ahead of time that having outside visitors stay is okay, I don’t think you should expect your BF to stay in the apartment at all. Unless she is also having visitors… then it is okay.</p>
<p>Thank you so much everyone, again. I really appreciate this advice and I slowly feel myself getting out of this terrible mood. I looked on FB and joined some social groups—might attend a tour of the city with a group on Sunday. Very excited for that. Im not a party person but these foam parties and glow parties sound so fun! My roommate literally stays inside all day so ill have to work hard to find a group/couple of trustworthy people that are willing to go out with me sometimes. </p>
<p>And in regards to the room, my BF visiting is not the main issue AT ALL. Im actually not even going to bring that up as a reason when I talk about swapping. I really am just genuinely uncomfortable and the rooming situation is simply unfair, period. I will talk to her about swapping. Like how can she even say no to that? I just need to bring it up diplomatically.I def have to practice standing up for myself!!</p>
<p>Yes… but I am not sure there is a “diplomatic” way to do it. The important thing to do is to keep your cool, but stand your ground as well. Sounds like you already did bring it up once. So I would just do a “I have been thinking about this some more, and it seems only fair that we swap spaces at the mid-semester point given that the spaces aren’t really equal and we are paying the same amount. When I look at the calendar, I think that would be this date.” Don’t wait to have the conversation, the longer you wait the harder it gets.</p>
<p>I believe you that the BF is not the main issue. So do not mention it at all as a factor in the switch. You did mention it here, and I think it does not help your argument. So keep that to yourself…</p>
<p>I completely agree that you should switch rooms at half semester if she isn’t willing to pay more.</p>
<p>I also completely understand what you are going through. I was in Paris in February of my junior (high school) year. I stayed with a family and didn’t get along with my exchange student as well as I’d hoped. I was also alone - no other Americans, I mean - and could only hang out with the kids at the school I attended who were of course all French.</p>
<p>I got through it by going into Paris (I was about 20 minutes out by train) a lot with my diary and a book and finding cafes to just sit and write and people watch. Mostly I was around Notre Dame, I became comfy in that neighborhood.</p>
<p>The following summer I went to Italy to stay with a family and things didn’t work out about 5 days in. I called my mom wanting to come home. She talked me down off that ledge and I made the month work.</p>
<p>I am a much stronger and more confident person for all that, still. Getting through the hard stuff is an achievement i am proud of and you can be too - don’t give up!</p>
<p>Start being up in the daytime…when I travel and I can’t tough it out to stay up I take a Tylenol PM to knock myself out at the appropriate time and that also works to get me on schedule. Maybe if you have any time off you can get a cheap flight or train down to the coast where it is sunnier and warmer. Or, stay put and Mother Nature will do her thing and give you Paris in the Springtime soon :)</p>
<p>First things first - sort out the sleep pattern. When I did something broadly similar, I got there, hadn’t slept for 40 hours straight and was completely jetlagged (12 hour time difference). I ended up sobbing in the shower and resolving to get the first flight home again, convinced that I’d made a dreadful mistake and couldn’t actually do it at all. </p>
<p>However, once I had got my sleeping patterns straightened out, had a decent meal, and had gone out to see some of the local sights, I felt SO much better. After a few days, I was actively enjoying myself, and when I had to fly home six months later, I cried on the plane because I didn’t want to go home! </p>
<p>So, what you’re feeling is normal, but it will pass. Make sure you do something every day that you couldn’t have done at home - from visiting the Eiffel Tower to eating French food - and enjoy those little things.</p>
<p>I have been there. You will get through this. Decades ago, I spent my junior year in Paris, with an orientation program in Biarritz and I was homesick for the entire first week. Part of it is jet lag and fatigue. Actually, that’s most of it. You’d be amazed at what a few really good nights of sleep will do for your mental health.</p>
<p>When you are better rested, start exploring the city. Don’t be scared to use your crappy French (forgive me if yours is better than mine was!) Drink coffee, drink wine, eat a lot of pastries. Visit the Musee de Cluny (you’ll never see anything like it again). Climb the bell tower at Notre Dame. Lie down on those benches in the middle of the galleries at the Louvre and look at the gorgeous ceilings.</p>
<p>See if you can return to start school at the end of the month AND stay put? That way, you can see how the next week or so go and then make a final decision?</p>
<p>I didn’t see many students posting on the other thread so I came here. I hope you guys don’t mind. :)</p>
<p>This is very normal and don’t think that you’re the only one going through it. This happens to students who go abroad a lot. </p>
<p>But it is exactly like everyone else is saying: your stress is a combination of jet lag and culture shock. I would get on France time ASAP because that affects your daily life and mood so much. Fight the urge to sleep in the afternoon.</p>
<p>My advice to you would be to take it one day at a time and don’t stress out right now over the big picture things such as making friends and going to see the Eiffel Tower, etc. Make small goals for yourself every day and you’ll see a big difference. </p>
<p>I find that keeping a journal on your thoughts, feelings, and experiences while abroad is a good source to get your emotions out!</p>
<p>You will be fine. Just get on France time and make a small goal every day for yourself. You can do it! :)</p>
<p>“I arrived in Paris from New York at 7am and went immediately to an all day orientation from 9am to 4pm.” Soon after which you presumably collapsed in bed in total exhaustion and woke up around 6 am, well rested. I’m puzzled how you got into sleeping during the day. That has not happened to me in some 20 trips to Europe.</p>
<p>I suggest you get yourself a few good lamps to make your indoor space bright. That could help a great deal with your mood and the overall dreary feeling.</p>
You are going to learn SO much about yourself and about life in another country this semester. Hang in there.</p>