<p>Good luck sorting through this. I bet you’ll find a way to make it work. Per the room situation, that’s a toughie since you didn’t understand things enough ahead of time to sort it out. You can’t blame the roommate for wanting the real bedroom - she arranged for the friend to check it out, and she got there first. Hopefully you can come to an agreement. Either way, plan to spend lots of time elsewhere because that’s how you will learn about the city and the culture.</p>
<p>I haven’t read the post, but I would try and get out - see new things. You may just be adjusting!</p>
<p>It took me a solid week to not be sad about dreary Copenhagen. Come a few weeks/by the end I didn’t wanna leave.</p>
<p>If you have any questions, I was abroad all spring 2013 from jan-june</p>
<p>If she can’t pay more for the bedroom, can you pay more?</p>
<p>I’m trying to figure out if you are my daughter, who arrived in Paris 3 days ago to study abroad, and who feels like a fish out of water and suffers from anxiety so it is easy for her to feel that way. Hang in there. It is not the US but you went there to experience not the US. Don’t be afraid by what is different. Embrace it. There may not be working fixtures in your room or regular heat or consistent internet access-it is not the US-but you can get great cheese and bread and wine. </p>
<p>My daughter is finding the program she is with really discourages having roommates or even living in university housing. When she spoke with them about the housing budget and needs she and her parents had identified, they took offense and humiliated her for even involving her parents in the decision (who do they think PAYS for her to be there?!).</p>
<p>Living alone in a new city in a foreign country will only make a student with anxiety that much more anxious. They should let her turn her energy towards exploring and adapting and leave the avoidable problems out of it!</p>
<p>Hang in there. The first few weeks can be bumpy but remember, it is not forever, and you went there for the differences. Don’t let your fear deprive you of enjoying the experience and don’t leave yet. If you absolutely cannot survive after giving it some time, then you go. but you have not been there long enough and it would be sad to give up the opportunity of a lifetime. Look for opportunities to connect with others and that will go a long way towards easing your situation. Good luck!</p>
<p>I was reading through the post and I was glad to read you were starting to feel better. </p>
<p>I really like mom2collegekids suggestion. </p>
<p>Good Luck!</p>
<p>grandscheme, I loved your post wondering if it’s your daughter who is posting. I am glad, if it is, that she found this site to ask for advice/help. She posted on two different strands, and I found her in the ‘college life’ strand. My D felt the same way fall semester during her first days/weeks abroad. I hope all the students abroad this spring have successful experiences even though there are of course challenges along the way. And housing… it is difficult when there are no dorms. My D even had to buy a pan or two for cooking, and there was no oven, so creating meals and dealing with high prices was very, very hard. She survived, though. :)</p>
<p>P.S. The only way I could communicate with my D was through FB messaging. I don’t even have access to skype or ‘facetime’ or any technology like that, but we survived. If anything, we are now ‘less tethered’ by technology after her return because we aren’t used to constant texts, etc. Those first weeks, I just kept messaging the same words you put in your post, but we never got to the ‘I want to come home’ part.</p>
<p>Just think: in four months you’ll be home, and boasting about how you were living in Paris.</p>
<p>:) I just need to get out more. Went to class and then got lost in Parisss! My way home from school makes me pass over the Seine and by the Louvre. Amazing, still hasnt set in yet. I think it might be a weather thing too. The sun was a shinin’ after the rain this afternoon and boy did I feel good. I pray that this feeling lasts. I cant wait to explore more of this city. What I am experiencing must not be taken for granted or ruined by my anxiety and/or low moods–I will def work on keeping my spirits up. Thanks for all the advice everyone.</p>
<p>When I woke up this morning, I cringed at the sound of French because it reminded me that I wasnt at home. By this evening, I am beginning to accept this reality a bit more. </p>
<p>Very true, in four months I will be home! semesters always go by very very fast—especially when classes start.</p>
<p>And oh boy, Im about to talk to my roommate</p>
<p>Boasting? Really? Do you have to impute the most negative motives to EVERYONE?</p>
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<p>Well, I certainly don’t blame her for WANTING it, but equally I certainly CAN blame her for taking it with no discussion of an equitable arrangement, and for not offering such an arrangement when it was discussed. If she sees reason and agrees to a division, that would be another matter.</p>
<p>Having a friend scope out the apartment and say that the inferior accommodations were fine <em>for someone else</em> is hardly noble. Nor is staking an apparently permanent claim to them because you got there first.</p>
<p>^thank you Consolation! I kind of bypassed that post. We’re paying equal rent and I am cramped in the living room with no space–my stuff is just piled everywhere while she has a desk and storage up there. </p>
<p>I really believe more people need to talk about the reality of studying abroad. Everyone paints it as such a pretty picture and I had to do some digging to find out that, underneath it all, we’re all a bit scared.</p>
<p>I’m glad to see someone else posted the Paris Syndrome article on Wikipedia. I think studying abroad in Paris, especially for people who have not traveled much, can be the worst because people have such high expectations for it, based on somewhat false media representations. </p>
<p>I’ve spent all three of my college summers in Paris, living both in the suburbs way out on the RER line and well within the city limits. So, if you ever want to talk about adjusting to Paris, feel free to PM me OP! I think I was lucky, though, in that I had been to Paris on vacation twice/sort of thrice before my first summer there, so I had an idea of what to expect, and some knowledge that it wasn’t all glamor. I also had the input of my sister who had studied abroad for a semester in the south of France and made many trips to Paris.</p>
<p>It’s not all fun and shopping and croissants. It’s cold in the winter, it rains a lot in the summer, the people are famously unfriendly, half the city smells of urine, there’s way too many tourists, the numbers of the homeless are uncountably high. That’s Paris.</p>
<p>If you’re feeling this way after only a few days, it’s probably just shock and jet lag as many have said. I’ve always found jetlag in Europe rather avoidable due to the timing for flights, as you fly overnight and can a (somewhat short) night’s sleep on the plane, arriving on the continent in the morning. But if you missed out on resetting your rhythms then, not all is lost! It’ll be easier to adjust with fuller days. Set an alarm for a reasonable, but not too early hour. Start your day at 11 if that’s the most you can manage. And go out. It’s an incredibly walkable city, and there’s plenty of things to do, even for free. Go to parks, to museums. Pick up a sandwich or two while you’re out. And don’t come back until it’s time to make dinner and then go to bed. Repeat, but wake up an hour earlier each day. If you get tired of going out, read a book, or watch Netflix (assuming your university provides you with a VPN).</p>
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<p>Oh come on, don’t you think that the chance to engage in some solid bragging is part of the reason people do most things? Facebook wouldn’t exist without it…</p>
<p>Stick it out. In the middle of things it can be tough to have perspective, plus you are likely jetlagged (for that, be sure you are NOT wearing sunglasses; you need exposure to light to help your body adjust quicker). But here’s what you’re going to be able to look back on this summer. [list][<em>]You get a chance to work on your skills in difficult conversations (eg. fixing the living situation). Even if the conversation doesn’t go perfectly you’ll learn something from it and be better able to handle difficult topics in the future [</em>]You’ve learned that even when you feel alone and unhappy things will get better. Something worth reminding yourself of in the future [*]You’ll learn to temper expectations. In our imagination we are strolling down the Champs-</p>
<p>Paris is only clean and luxurious for the super-wealthy. Students get a grubbier life, a fact that has inspired great rafts of French literature and philosophy, LOL. </p>
<p>The first few days of study abroad are terrifying and depressing and lonely for most American students. You’ve already done the very best thing you could do – you’ve gone out to soak up some of the !Paris! do more of that! Go up to Montmartre for a chocolat chaud and a journal write at a cafe (bring little-to-no cash and watch for pickpockets, etc) and play moody French existentialist for a bit when you are down. </p>
<p>As far as the other student who was made to feel silly for involving her parents? That is cultural lesson #1. In Europe, the idea of a parent involving him or herself in a University Student’s arrangements is actually pretty laughable. Keep in mind that “who is paying for it” is for the most part the government, and that students are expected to function as independent adults at the University level. For many students this is one of the biggest transformative aspects of study abroad. It’s scary for the first week or so, but then you come home and can’t believe your peers are still getting the handholding that you yourself required a few months prior!</p>
<p>Does the bedroom in your apartment only have one bed? I’m surprised. I would have expected a one bedroom or similarly small space for two students, but with enough actual beds for all the people assigned there. No student should expect a private bedroom in an expensive city like Paris, but a bed is not at all too much to ask! I hope your request for a switch is accepted with grace, your roommate is being very unfair.</p>
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<p>No, I don’t.</p>
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<p>But except for the historical sites and museums, that is exactly where Paris shine. The rest is pretty grim … as shared in the same comment and the perspective of the poor OP who visibly arrived with great expectations and little preparation. </p>
<p>The reason great books were written and great music composed in Paris is exactly because the city generates sadness, melancholy, nostalgia at the same time as exhilaration. It takes a lot of suffering to discover happiness. Well short of a trip to Rue Cler, Poilane, or Fauchon. That is immediate happiness. </p>
<p>Fwiw, I like Paris, but a great part of it is that I know that I can leave it very soon after my arrival. That is what tourists or businesspeople do, and why they love Paris. Realizing that one has to live there is a different story. Like most other large cities, the city is indeed smelly, dirty, full of degenerates, and only affordable for people on a travel or expense budget. </p>
<p>The question is how fast one can open his or her mind, and accept that it will hardly be the romantic story mostly painted by returning students or their parents who paid the bill. </p>
<p>It will get better, but not a whole lot better. The apartment will not get cozier and less dark. The Parisians will not get more polite or take more baths. The rain and grey skies will remain until you prepare to come home. The only thing that will change, is that you will get used to.</p>
<p>Here is a crazy idea for you. If you have a school break during your stay tell your boyfriend to fly to Nice and not to Paris. Hop on TGV train and meet him there. Find a cheap accommodation and enjoy blue skies. You will need a car to explore but it is worth the expense. South of France beats Paris in the winter.</p>
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<p>I must be the only person in this thread who found Parisians to be polite and helpful. I didn’t speak fantastic French when I was there but I always tried…maybe that’s it, or maybe it’s just because coming from NYC my bar for “polite and friendly” was lower than most.</p>
<p>Still, the fact is I never had anyone NOT give me directions when I asked, or ignore my questions.</p>
<p>I have no ability to help you out here, sorry strongbeans. But I’ll say that this type of thing is part of the reason I’m not going to leave North America. I can lack culture if it leads to a better lifestyle. But I hope it all works out for you and that when you look back at the end of 5 months you had a good time there and learned something too.</p>