Can you guys work through a plan for getting through today - or the weekend - in a way that brings you some pleasure?
I understand that it’s hard, but it is doable. Six months. Not six years…
If you aren’t honest with your parents they will not be able to understand. Presenting anxiety as discomfort in your program country, and keeping your depression and growing functional impairment (skipping class, staying in bed) a secret from them is downplaying a situation that could get serious without help. If you are really getting that mentally sick they should know. If you are simply venting and not taking the good suggestions that have been offered then that’s a different issue. You have the power to fix your situation, either by being honest with your family and making a decision together, maybe even going home depending on the seriousness of your depression, or making some proactive and positive changes in what you are doing.
And one day, you may look back on this with pride and recognize the magnitude of what it offered you.
We aren’t trying to diminish the insecurities. Many of us (or our kids) went through this and the adjustments, had challenges. But from our perspective as adults, we can look back and see how some of the disconnect lessens over time and when you can find your own perspective. And we can say how brave we were, how we kept putting one foot in front of the other.
That’s what we wish, for you. That sense of balance.
Hello everyone~
I don’t know I thought I would update you all haha.
So the homesickness has passed. I’m still having problems eating, sadly… I have lost a lot of weight. The initial anxiety I am able to control, to some extent, with meditation but I think the fear kinda stuck, I’m still working on it.
Even though everything has gotten a little better, I think I still stick with my decision to leave early. I don’t know why, but I have this urge to just go out and travel. I don’t really want to stay here for another 3 months, mainly because for some reason my love for the country, culture and language has kind of just went away. I thought, where I am right now is the ideal and might be the only time where I can just travel and not have to worry about any responsibilities. I want to visit all my friends in college, do a tour of Europe, do a road trip somewhere, paint and bake all day long.
I’ve consulted 5 friends about this and I have been thinking about it for the past 2 weeks now, I told myself I would give it another 1-2 weeks and talk it through with my parents before I make a final decision.
Thank you all for giving me your advice and listening to my concerns and venting~
Thanks for the update! Glad to hear that you are finding your feet.
Obviously, we only see a part of the story here, so any advice or perspective any of us offer is incomplete.
I think we can all see why…at least, I can see why you -and your friends- would see heading out for an extended holiday as a much more attractive option than staying and seeing the job through.
Maybe it has gone away- or maybe it’s that the first flush of attraction has had a head-on collision with reality. Like having a crush on a celebrity from a safe distance, and then you meet them irl and find that they have some less lovely sides as well. If you want to get to the real relationship you have to work through both the shiny bits and the harder bits.
Thank you for the update. Glad to hear you are feeling a little better. You need to eat properly. Can you just eat some nutritious foods such as eggs, vegetables and fruits? Nothing fancy, but not liking the food is not a good reason to jeopardize your health. If you are being very fussy, it’s time to put your health first and just eat it, even if you don’t like it. Mind over matter. Health comes first.
Honestly, your 5 friends are probably not the best people to talk to if you are looking for advice about making a very important decision. You can’t travel and bake after you finish the course? What are the consequences of leaving the program early? If there are no issues, then maybe it’s a good idea. Will your parents lose a lot of money? Will you not get course credit? You have to think about what will be affected, apart from just you.
Meanwhile, it’s good you’ve given yourself a little time to make a final decision. As for losing enthusiasm for study abroad, well, that’s not surprising. The novelty has worn off. It’s your temporary home, and it’s important to focus on the word “temporary.” This is a few months of your life. Make a list of pros and cons. Good luck.