<p>I guess there was a reason why there was a vacancy (for your daughter to move into) in this room at the beginning of this term. My guess is that the 3 partying roommates were too much for the previous 4th and that the RA et. al. did not rememdy the situation during the first term.</p>
<p>The question for your daughter fight or move.</p>
<p>Clearly, the roommates have established a "norm" in the suite that is acceptable to your D or it would appear within the rules of the university. </p>
<p>With the choice to fight - i.e. pursue university action against the roommates, it will be time consuming (often the wheels of justice are slow) and the situation within the suite will be incredibly tense if not hostile (depending upon whether these girls clue into the fact that your D has made the issue come to light or not). Of course, if the roommates are removed from the suite, things could be a lot quieter.</p>
<p>With the choice to move, you could very well end up in worse (if you could imagine). As I mentioned earlier, there are usually reasons for a vacancy in dorm housing. Hopefully, the vacancy is one not caused by the remaining roommates, but once again not guarantees. And of course, there may not be any more slots left at this time.</p>
<p>I do sympathize and I think ultimately your D must be comfortable with her choices in the matter. Good Luck.</p>
<p>I'm just responding so I can find this thread in 2 years if I have a child in this common situation.
Actually, my son had a problem with his roommate coming in at 2:00 a.m. and turning on the light, as well as a noisy hall on his floor such that he couldn't sleep. So we have already had this problem of sorts. He solved it by moving out of the dorm for the upcoming fall.</p>
<p>"With the choice to move, you could very well end up in worse (if you could imagine). As I mentioned earlier, there are usually reasons for a vacancy in dorm housing. Hopefully, the vacancy is one not caused by the remaining roommates, but once again not guarantees. And of course, there may not be any more slots left at this time."</p>
<p>True. She also could end up in a better situation. For instance, at some schools, a fair number of freshmen flunk out first semester due to partying. Presumably the roommates left behind are the ones who studied.</p>
<p>See RA and/or housing supervisor ASAP. She needs to think about her rights--her expectations are reasonable. Forget about being nice or "not getting the other girls in trouble." They're already in trouble.</p>
<p>(a student I know lived with an addict last semester and it was very stressful--student was relieved to find that roomie flunked out).</p>
<p>
[quote]
True. She also could end up in a better situation. For instance, at some schools, a fair number of freshmen flunk out first semester due to partying. Presumably the roommates left behind are the ones who studied.
[/quote]
</p>
<p>Also true, but if it were the case with the first move there wouldn't be a problem, would there?</p>
<p>I do agree that there may very well be good situations available, but it is definitely a random chance thing.</p>
<p>Since the reason for the move was mechanical problems in the original dorm, there may be a housing crunch on campus. </p>
<p>Still, she needs to move. ASAP. I agree that the RA is ineffective and she should go as high as she can in the administrative channels, as fast as she can. She's made an attempt to deal with the problem, document that, and go forward. </p>
<p>How long will it be before the mechanical problems are corrected, or won't they be? Is there any possibility that she can move back to her old dorm? Is there any possibility that she has friends with whom she can double/triple up?</p>
<p>The RA is more than "ineffective" - she is aiding and abetting illegal activity, and if something happened to one of the students as a result of underage drinking, she could be charged criminally.</p>
<p>plain and simple go in and demand a move. Don't go into the rights and wrongs of the situation beyond what is needed to make your point. You don't have time or energy to campus crusade for responsible behavior. You simply need to be away from this group. Ask about a wellness dorm..</p>
<p>As others have posted usually grades knock the hard paritiers out after a semester or two. As well, someone pointed out the tension that would exist during the process of clearing them out. Just leave, tell your daughter to stop complaining and act. It won't get better and being nice or patient isn't going to work, just leave. Then it's not your problem. </p>
<p>These problems usually sort themselves out in a couple years. There's a reason 50% of freshmen don't return for a sophomore year. All party, no study is one of them.</p>
<p>I don't have any suggestions to add to the very good ones that have been offered. But I have a question for others...How common is this problem and are some colleges/universities more responsive than others. In your experience, is this more common at larger universities and less common at small LAC? And lastly - will anyone "out" a college/university they had a particularly bad or good experience with (e.g. places that did or not respond well to student complaints around these issues). Maybe if college administrators saw parents discussing the issue openly and talking about how specific colleges handled things, they would be more proactive in handling these problems.</p>
<p>Take some photos of the liquor bottles and anything else supporting the cause. Then have the kid march into the housing office and threaten them with holy heck is the situation is not fixed within 24 hours.</p>
<p>Unfortunately it is pretty common for the administration and representatives, especially RA's, to ignore drinking in the dorms. For a school with a tolerant attitude, the RA's are often not well trained and may even be as bad as the roommates. Your D needs to request a room change immediately and if she does not get action it is time for parental intervention. </p>
<p>Parents and kids who are still in the selection and application phase should take note. The campus culture and policies can be very important and are worth the time to investigate prior to enrolling.</p>
<p>To the OP - I would sure keep in mind that your gal could get in just as much trouble as the 3 partiers can - just by being present in the room when alcohol is being consumed - or open container - that would be my biggest concern here.</p>
<p>Your gal needs to take the initial steps - go the RA NOW (gee wonder what the RA did about this last semester - uuummmm) - or go to the RA in the middle of the night (bang on the door/wake them up and drag them to the room LOL) - but the RA needs to take action - if they don't - then go find the head of the RA's - then go right up the ladder ASAP - and don't take NO for any answer - then if no results - I would be the first parent on the phone to the Dean/Pres of the school - and I would not back down. Hey - you pay the same $$ that these other gals do for the same space.</p>
<p>In the meantime - is there anyplace she could bunk in temporaily - to avoid being there when the partying starts?? You and your gal need to really do what you have to - to keep your gal safe and out any possible trouble.</p>
<p>Barrons - I like your response LOL - cuz that is what my gal would do :) - or a call to the campus security folks. Your gal can't be a door-mat - unless she allows folks to walk all over her.</p>
<p>barrons, she still might have to live with her suitemates if there are no open beds available. That situation is possible. I can tell you that at the school my son attends there is a three strike policy. If the policy is the same here, and those suitemates have not received a strike, they are not getting kicked out. After going to housing with pics, I don't think that the suitemates would want to get along with the OP's D. </p>
<p>I am wondering if she should send a group message to them discussing how to work this out so that she can sleep and study and everyone can still have fun....asking them to come up with solutions....and if they say "hell no, we are going to party all the time..." she has been reasonable and then go stratght to head of housing and demand a change. If instead they apologize and set some limits for partying not on school nights. Never later than x and prefered place --elsewhere. She did say two of the girls did not return home after going out Sat. night. ?? I suggested that was good! lol</p>
<p>so do you all think it is a waste of time in talking to the girls or just go straight to the community director....after all she probably knows why the last girl left.</p>
<p>I say let the party girls party on - they're the schools', not your d's responsibility - and let her move on to a place where she is likely to feel more at home and more likely to be successful. And then don't even give them another thought.</p>
<p>"so do you all think it is a waste of time in talking to the girls or just go straight to the community director....after all she probably knows why the last girl left."</p>
<p>Yes, pretty much a waste of time. Just take the steps to move. The girls shouldn't be your daughters problem. If these girls aren't already considerate of your D feelings by their behavior, I seriously doubt her talking to them will make them any less sensitive to it. Pack mentality, you will not beat a pack mentality so don't bother. If she takes the steps to move without a whole lot of interaction, the less likely she get treated poorly by these girls. She doesn't need to become their target, which she will if she confronts too much. </p>
<p>Just take the steps to move, before too much time goes by.</p>
<p>Good question. I heard that this dorm has substance free floors ...somewhere but if the drunks are yelling constantly and disrupting the whole dorm, I do wonder why they dont take action against them. That is what I suggested she ask for. I could help her move nxt monday with mlk.</p>
<p>It is worth explaining her need for sleep as sometimes partiers will respect that but I doubt that will work. Probably time to move without rancor. They are making different choices at this point in their lives and it is not worth trying to change them. In time they probably will mature....or flunk out.</p>
<p>Most schools have substance free/low chem/wellness areas/quiet areas that are often not requested by students. It is highly likely that there are some partiers who "got stuck" in those areas and would be more than happy to trade into her current "party central" room.</p>
<p>To find people who don't party check for religious organizations (if that is her cup of tea) on campus or just see who is in the library late on Friday or Saturday nights. There are lots of "normal" people who don't want to party to excess on most college campuses if you know where to look.</p>